Sexless Marriages Could Threre Be a Direct Link by Being Raised JW?

by okiesooner1966 40 Replies latest social relationships

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  Finally-Free

  I had knee surgery, and for the next 2 years I couldn't put any pressure on my knee, even with a pillow or on a mattress without a lot of pain. Then they operated on my other knee, and this one was worse. It still hurts now, 15 years later. Combine that with a partner who won't allow anything other than the missionary position, and sex goes out the window. She was more than happy to be "serviced" regularly, but unwilling to reciprocate. Once she had her jollies she was off to prepare her watchtower, and I was left to take matters into my own hand, so to speak. Being a good little dub, I put up with that for 11 years.

  W
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  flipper

  O.K. Okiesooner you asked for an opinion, I'm gonna give it to you carefully ( for the board administrators) and honestly so you can have a nice loving , sexy time with your wife. Ala Borat. O.K. Serious now. JK666 hit on some important points to help you along . Now I do want to mention before I start here , if you have an erectile disfunction problem that could be attributed to depression , or some other physical ailment , please seek a physicians help. However , you mentioned could there be a direct link to being raised a witness to your sex inactivity ? Well yes, and no. The witness organization tries to control normal sexual foreplay that a couple can do , which would greatly increase the joy a couple would have together if not for the hindrance of the cult.

  For instance, here I go. I think even the witnesses addressed this in some of their books, that a woman takes a lot longer than a man to come to a sexual arousal. Many men miss this point. A man tends to think that a woman can be aroused within 10 to 15 minutes and that is not true. True for a guy, but not a woman. You need to do things to her that the witnesses wouldn't allow you to do. Like go down on her. I'm talking 20 minutes or more here. She will see you are concerned with her feeling good, that you are not selfish, and really love her and want to pleasure her. Then, your wife will be more motivated to do the same to you. Then after that, you will both be in such a frenzy that orgasms will be a foregone conclusion. ( Administators, I'm being as careful as I can be here. ) Anyway , Okiesooner I wish you the best in your marriage. Just throw yourself into it. Peace to you my friend, wish you the best
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  still_in74

  That sex is only for procreation

  Not true. I know this has never been stated in my lifetime anyway. I dont believe the WTS has ever made this statement. Especially considering the other scripture you quoted regarding "rendering their due"
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  still_in74

  You need to do things to her that the witnesses wouldn't allow you to do. Like go down on her. I'm talking 20 minutes or more here

  A hurdle I faced was convincing my wife NOT to feel guilty when I went down on her. She would actually feel like we were doing something wrong!! The years of WTS conditioning was 100% of the reason for this.

  After 10 years of marriage now she is finally "into it". In fact now she loves it when I go "downtown". I actually find I have to force her to let me stay there longer as she gets fired up quickly and gets eager to "saddle up". ( I actually enjoy giving in this area - possibly more than receiving!)

  I must agree with the post about cooking, whenever I cook I get the star treatment!
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  lionel

  My Dear bro its has nothing to do with being raised a JW, I'm in a similar situation as you were now, but only worse. My wife left me for a another man, and she always complain that I wasn't sexually strong enough. The reason I lost interest in her was because she was so abusive verbally as well as physically sometimes to me and my 2 girls. I stuck on this hopeless relationship( but always praying to Jehovah for some sort of help) for 13 years till the day she finally gave me a letter of admission that she is seeing someone else. She was 30 and I'm 37. The reason we grew apart was our own failure to apply the direction give my the faithful and discreet slave class also her being so focused on sex and materialism. Today there is a very beautiful sister in our congregation that always makes its a point to come over and talk to me till closing up time. Now I want to ask you something. Do you think that she is interested in me? We always glance and smile at each other often or is she just being kind? Its not her beauty that attracted me to her but more so the way she carries herself,kind gentle, soft spoken,dainty. Both her parents are in the truth also. Please do send me you feedback.
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  sass_my_frass

  Hi and welcome to the board, Lionel.
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  jgnat

  Welcome, lionel. You must understand how futile it is to ask advice from a new board about your romantic life. You are there, you see and talk to this woman face-to-face. I suggest you just ask her right out if she is interested in you, and take it from there.
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  JK666

  WOW, Okie, I don't know what to say! Maybe you have some hangups yourself!? Try to see if you are projecting things in your relationships. Sex is not BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  DaCheech

  I think JK has it right!

  I only wish that for every 20 times that I make her feel like a million dollars, the next night she would initiate and get the mood on...........

  wishful thinking, I have to always do it.

  BTW when the kids won't go to sleep, and the wife snoars off. I patiently watch TV until the kids sleep, then I wake her up (if you know what I mean)!!
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  mrsjones5

  A man tends to think that a woman can be aroused within 10 to 15 minutes and that is not true. True for a guy, but not a woman. You need to do things to her that the witnesses wouldn't allow you to do. Like go down on her. I'm talking 20 minutes or more here. She will see you are concerned with her feeling good, that you are not selfish, and really love her and want to pleasure her. Then, your wife will be more motivated to do the same to you. Then after that, you will both be in such a frenzy that orgasms will be a foregone conclusion

  OK being careful here: My husband and I have been having this ongoing conversation about this for the last few years. He wants to be serviced first, I want to be serviced first. My husband can be ready in a hot second, I need some time and a bit of foreplay. I've told him over and over again if you get me going I will give you the world...the man still doesn't believe me and it will be 15 years in December. Did I say first that we have a good sex life? We do...go figure.

  Josie