What would you say to this........

fifi40

Yesterday my friends 14 year old son died after a lenghty stay in hospital. He had cystic fibrosis and in September caught an infection resulting in him spending pretty much the rest of his time in IC during which he suffered 2 heart attacks and was on life support and for the final few weeks has not been conscious due to medication. Sadly he lost his battle yesterday.

He was a little chap who I knew and was friends with my son from first day at primary school. I was good friends with his mum and occasion helped out with his daily physio. So I am very sad for them all.

Last night I had to break the news to my own 14 year old after he returned from the meeting which he had been to with his dad. His dad was there when I told him.

Dad's reaction initially was how sad and then............'its the best thing that could have happened to him......now he has the hope of the resurrection'.

I said I dont think his parents would agree with you and I'd rather you didnt say things like that in front of me.

Do you not find it incredible that they have such lack of tact or empathy.........I know they 'think' they are right.............but come on are comments like that not just despicable.

His mum has given her all to him through her 14 years and his travelled the world quite extensively for someone of 14, so the short life he had was good and happy.........sometimes I am amazed at the 'false band aid' of the resurrection hope and how people can use it within minutes of learning of someone's personal tragedy........I hope I was never like that and I hope I can offer some sort of support and help to her over the coming months and celebrate the life he had.

Fi

dedpoet

(((fifi)))

I am very sorry to read of your friends loss. I feel for you and
your son as well.

As for this comment

Dad's reaction initially was how sad and then............'its the best thing that could have happened to him......now he has the hope of the resurrection'

What a pri*k! He should be ashamed of himself for saying that,
but the sad fact is he probably thought he was being loving. I
guess it's typical of the way jws think. It would certainly be of
no comfort to the boy's parents, and I'd be inclined to punch him if
he tried to offer me such a "comforting thought".

Gill

(((((( fifi ))))))))

I am so sorry to hear of your friend's loss of her son! It is an absolute tragedy. We always hear of the Cystic Fibrosis sufferers who receive a life saving transplant and not so much about those who lose their fight for life. How is your son coping? This type of loss is always devastating to a youngster. I hope he is able to talk to you about it.

As for your ex husband's response, well, what else can a JW say?

In the end, we're all unable to say exactly what happens to us when we die, and I suppose your ex fell into the usual 'routine sayings' trap.

I prefer to think that those we have lost are off on their next great adventure!

I'd certainly like to believe that your friend's son is free form whatever pain and discomfort he always suffered and I so hope his parents can come to terms with his loss and remember the good days.

It seems that time with those we love is so short, but perhaps in reality we are together always and we just don't know it.

Take Care Fifi!

freeme

in my experience this is SOOO common in JW talk. i did it. my family, friends, everyones does it. when someone dies who was apostate, sinner, no-JW almost everytime someone comes up with the "its the best that could happen to him/her". and you know why? because they think its some kind of comfort. "hey, yeah, we all know its sad that he/she died, but look, when you watch the facts he may lost some years in this horrible wicked system but probably gained eternal life!!!!"

Frjprice

My, how many times I've heard that!

When my father passed away, that is all I heard, even "at least its an easy way to the possibility of resurection and the new world"

Its amazing to me that this is all the condolence they can offer, perhaps trained by the organization to say such things so that their doctrines are easier to accept?

Sorry to hear about the loss, I will include him in my prayers today, as well as his family and your child.

Dorktacular

Honestly, this is what I think. Personally, if I knew someone who was suffering like that and I knew they were going to die a long, painful death, I would wish them a quick, painless death so they could be at peace and their suffering could end.

BUT I would NEVER say that to anyone because I know that can sound insensitive. That is something that I would keep to myself. When someone you know loses a loved one, you should offer your condolences and then listen to them. Allow them to grieve and help them in any way you can. Don't tell them how to feel. That's just common sense, no matter what religion you are.

Now, back to the comment that the dead 14 year old was better off dead because he had the resurrection hope...... BULLSHIT! Listen, if death were an easy way out, why don't all Jehovah's Witnesses commit mass suicide and simply wait for the resurrection? I mean, after all, the longer you're alive, the greater your chances of stumbling and sinning! More time on planet earth means more time to run afoul of the rules and regulations of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Before they commit a sin worthy of being disfellowshipped, how much greater for them it would be to simply take a bullet to the head! By that logic, doctors who perform abortions should be saints because they allow the unborn to pass on without ever experiencing sin, guaranteeing them a successful resurection in the new system!!!!

Wow, did I go too far with that one? So, if I were confronted with some myrmidon (look that word up if you want an exact definition of a JW) who said something like that, I'd call them a heartless asshole and walk away.

sweetstuff

I am so sorry to hear about his passing. (((HUGS))) His poor mom and dad, the best thing that could have happened to him is a transplant and a long life filled with happiness, I cannot believe your ex had the nerve to say such a hideous thing regarding this young life wiped out too quickly. It is a very common expression among JW's though, we all know that. They view life in this world as something to endure, not to appreciate and actually enjoy. So in their warped mindset, death is a release from "persecution".

Hopefully, he doesn't get the opportunity to say something like this to the boy's parents! They are suffering a loss no parent should ever have to face. They dont' need some a$$hole with a religious superiority complex chiming in with crap like that.

the dreamer dreaming

JW catch 22 # 10235

if someone dies prior to the big A and never heard JWs preach...they get ressurrected

if someone hears and turns away, they get ressurected as long as they never made formal steps to learn...

if they die in the big A they are toast.

if they become a JW and turn away they are toast.

suicide = self murder = you are toast.

why not kill everyone who does not know about JWs? = you are committing murder = you are toast.

if you tell someone they are better off dying before the big A= they have formal instruction about it and = they are toast.

so if you are lucky enough to avoid JWs and die before the big A you get where every hard working JW who has wasted their whole life can not get if they mess up at the end....

LeslieV

I am so sorry for you and your son, and the childs family.

Your ex-husband's pat answer is one of the major reasons why there are so many mental health issues in the cult. Grieving is a process....they do not let anyone grieve when they lose someone they love. It is unnatural, and unhealthy not to grieve.

Leslie

OnTheWayOut

"Dear, that is not a comforting thought. Your words were devastating. I am glad you said it here
instead of in front of his mother. You should never say, 'He's better off.' How about saying that
it's a shame, he was loved, and build up to your resurrection hope of seeing him again? "

What would you say to this........

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