Sadly, many people go through much of life in a sleep-like trance.
Have you ever forgotten your baby was in the car?
by changeling 39 Replies latest jw friends
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Smiles_Smiles
Yes I have forgotten my daughter in the car. She probably wasn't but a month or 2 old. I hadn't really taken her out of the house much yet. I parked and walked right into Eckerds. I was getting a basket and had a feeling I had forgotten something. I stood there for a minute to figure out what I had forgotten and then it came to me. I ran back out to the car and retrieved my daughter. She was still sleep and didn't have a clue anything was wrong. It made me feel like a true failure as a single mom. But the truth of the matter is I am and have been a great single mom. She is turning 15 in November and we have a fabulous relationship and am always have.
I don't excuse those who have purposefully put their children at risk. That's truly f'ed up.
But if a person is truly not someone that listens to their gut (when it says -hey you are forgeting something) and they are running 90 to nothing I think it is possible to forget and not remember right away. It took me all of 2 to 3 minutes to remember but I have always pretty much been a gut listener.
Smiles
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ESTEE
Nope!
ESTEE
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FadingAway
I wish I could forget my wife in the car sometimes.
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Younglove1999
It's so sad when I hear those stories.
My mother comes to our home to baby sit so i never have to bring her anywhere in the morning, but every day when I park my car at work, I check the car seat and remind myself that my daughter is with my mom. I intentionally put all my bags in the back seat so that I have to go there to get my stuff before going into the office.
If I leave work first before my husband does, I'll call him to see how the morning went and if our daughter was ok with grandma before he left.
Yeah, I'm a little paranoid, but I've had that autopilot feeling and I hate it, so I'm always triple checking. I work full time and I just feel better doing so.
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FreedomFrog
From what I have read, in some cases, the child is asleep in the backseat's child's restraining seat, and the parent driving doesn't know the kid is in there because the other parent had originally planned to take the child him/herself in their vehicle.
I can see this happening but with me I would be calling the other parent making sure they knew they had my child. I tend to call my ex even today checking on my kids. I start having a bad feeling that my daughter will figure out how to get out of his apartment and end up in his pool or pulling away and getting hit by the cars.
Yeah, maybe I'm a bit paranoid but when the fear rises in me I have to call and make sure they are ok. If anything happened to either of my kids, that would be the end of my life.
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White Dove
I have such a habit of looking back to make sure the kids are belted in that I don't understand how a parent could forget the kid was in the car. When the baby is with me, my mind is in mommy mode and the baby becomes an extension of myself. How could I leave a part of myself behind? We did forget my daughter at the hall one time when she was three because we thought my dad was going to take her with him, but it was a safe environment, not like a boiling car. That made it a little different, although that was almost as inexcusable.
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yknot
Yes, but it was only for a very short period. I had brought the groceries in, instead of going back out and getting my sleeping son (then 3mo), I started to put the groceries away. I finished the cold items (I unload them first always) and then remembered! The windows were open and luckily it was a breezy Fall day. Our state had just started a "backseat" campaign, this was the first time I had tried it.
I understand advocates of the "back to the backseat" however I know many mothers that have almost gotten into accidents because they were constantly glancing at the "backseat mirror" or from craning there necks in order to hear a child speak from the backseat.
I would like to point out that while the risk increases with children riding in the frontseat, the ability to converse and to interact with your child increases too (overrides for airbags are available from dealerships). My children like to ask lots of questions and to make observations about the cloud shapes. It has been a wonderful time watching and hearing their minds grow.
Since I can be "outta site, outta mind" person, currently my 3 year old sits up front and my 8 year old (in a booster seat until 80lbs) sits where she can see best depending on the day. Both know how to unlatch their carseats and how to operate the locks, windows, and doors.
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White Dove
I think that nine year olds are alright for 1/2 hour or so home alone if their maturity is at nine years of age. That is the age my parents left me alone for the first time. Actually, they were not that smart to do that because I needed to stay home from the meeting that night for being sick. I was running a fever from the flu when they came back home and discovered me on the couch bundled up in blankets trying to keep warm. It surprized them how sick I became while they were gone, but flu is fast and I wasn't sick sick until 1/2 way into the meeting.
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FreedomFrog
I think that nine year olds are alright for 1/2 hour or so home alone if their maturity is at nine years of age.
I agree, though for more than 1/2 hour would be pushing it I think. I have left my 9 year old home (he's very mature) for 15 mins and no more than 1/2 hour to check the mail/pay rent/ or whatever. The thing is I didn't want to do it at the beginning and it's very rare but he's feeling more independent and I want to help him learn more of his independents. I won't leave him there alone with my daughter (she's 3). And he gets to keep my cell phone during that time and we have very good neighbors that I also let them be aware when he's alone. If we didn't have neighbors that could step in I don't think I could do it.
Another thing is, sometimes I can't make it back home before my son gets home from school. He has strict "rules" for when I don't make it home in time. I've only not made it back in time 2 times from where I had to take my daughter to the doctor, and I was only late by about 15 mins. He LOVED it when I wasn't there because as he said "it gives him a chance to prove that he can do this".
One of the reasons I try to "let him loose" a bit is because my brother was so held down that he couldn't do much on his own when he was 16!!! He was 16 and wasn't aloud to use a knife to cut a bagel!!! He's almost 20 and now has mom/dad/sister do all his work for him. I think it's cause he's the baby and the only boy of 5 kids. When I was 9-10 years old (being the oldest) I was left with my other 3 sisters babysitting. Most times I was ok with it but other times I hated watching my bratty sisters. (You know how siblings can be)