The weird thing is - I almost can't recall what I once believed about the FDS and GB ["Faithful and Discreet Slave" and "Governing Body"], who they in fact were, and how they came to their conclusions and 'revelations'.
Come to think of it, I think that was because I was conditioned to not ever question them, because to question them would be to question the Organization, and to question the Organization was to question Jesus and Jehovah.
But I've been trying to 'dig into' my brain to see if I can remember how I as an active JW saw them:
- I believed them to be inspired, just not in the same 'degree' (?) as the biblical writers were. When non-JWs would say "How can you follow an organization ruled by a bunch of old men in Brooklyn?", I vehemently denied such a claim; "What are you talking about - I don't follow what a bunch of old men in Brooklyn says - I follow what Jehovah says". How did I not see that that was essentially the same thing? I don't think I ever allowed myself to dwell on it, but I guess I figured that these men in Brooklyn were inspired and guided through prayer, and therefore I wasn't following their teachings, but God's teachings given through them. Besides - they only revealed what the Bible actually said. Didn't they?
But I don't think I ever really understood what the FDS and GB were while I was active. I'm still a little uncertain, actually. I guess my current understanding - and it may still be wrong - is that the FDS is in effect a few select (selected by who? The GB?) of the 'anointed' class (144000), serving on the Writing Department of the WBTS. And that the GB started out as consisting of the board of directors of the WBTS, and are in fact a 'bunch' of old men deciding - by a vote - on what stand the organization should take on all manner of subjects.
But did you know any of that when you were a JW? What was your impression of them and who they were and what they did? Did you ever dare question them when you were still active? Did you view them as being inspired? How did you envision Jehovah guided them?
I vaguely remember hearing that one member of the GB had been disfellowshipped. I now know that it was Raymond Franz. Back then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "How can anyone on the GB be disfellowshipped!? How is that even possible - aren't they chosen by God!?" I think perhaps that in itself caused my first doubts about it all, even though I was quite young at the time.