by Open mind 30 Replies latest jw friends
This will be raising it's ugly head in the next few years with my kids unless we're out by then.
So, did anyone attend their Senior Prom while still a JW?
Who'd you go with?
Were they a JW too?
Did he/she ask you or vice versa?
Did you try keeping it secret?
Did you have your parent's blessing?
Did you suffer K Hall repercussions?
Did the Debil get you while you were there?
Did a girl named Carrie do anything weird with pig's blood?
Details. We want details.
Open Mind
I went with 2 other dateless girls. Dates were not required. It was fairly well chaperoned by the parents. I guess some wild things happened afterwards but I was at home by then. The 2 girls were "Christian" girls. Nothing said by the elders...my father was a non-jw and he gave me permission. Headship has its benefits when trumping the headship of the elders.
This was a hot button topic back when we were raising a family in the dub world. Senior proms and all other school activities were demonized in our rural congo; this was presented from the platform as a universal restriction for "true Christians."
However, in congos up the highway where all our Circuit Assemblies were held there was apparently a different standard. Our kids reported that many dub kids went to their Prom in that city, and not just as singles. Specific examples cited included a number of kids of elders. Where we lived, however, it was strictly forbidden and none of the parents (including us) were willing to go against the grain.
The hypocrisy still rankles. The fact that this did not make us wake up and smell the coffee also hurts. And, of course, the kids are still pissed to this day.
i didn't go to any dances or proms..., i was too socially backward...maybe I still am....
I did go to the after grad party which was held after hours at the local mall.... kinda odd....parents had to relent on something...
oh, and I was very heavily involved in the Thespians (high school drama club)...even was considered Honor status because of my extensive back stage/back office work...never was on stage...our chapter did not require on stage work as other chapters did....
during plays/musicals, I was at the high school almost every saturday morning helping to build sets....how did I get my with that?
Not sure why dad did not crack down and insist I go in the field circus. He wouldn't let my younger brother play sports, but I got to be involved in theater (if they knew what went on in that old (onofficial) co-ed dressing room, they would never have allowed it..... :) ....this was 23-24 years ago...
Snakes ()
blondie said:
I went with 2 other dateless girls. Dates were not required.
I'll have to see if that's even a possibility around here. Although I think it would be best if my kids had "real dates" if they really want to attend. So far only one has voiced a real desire to go.
willyloman:
And, of course, the kids are still pissed to this day.
This is why I will be supporting the kids in their desire to go. I imagine that my wife will be opposed at first, but will eventually cave.
Snakes:
i didn't go to any dances or proms..., i was too socially backward...maybe I still am....
Was it actually a relief to you that you weren't expected to go?
Open Mind
OM:
Was it actually a relief to you that you weren't expected to go?
yes and no... yes at the time...but no in the long run.... i am truly clueless about many aspects of social things at 40 (nearly 41).... if I had been forced to just jump in and "sink or swim", maybe I would have developed some social "muscles"... (just as I am regaining lost muscle tone now that I have a personal trainer....I'm sure that's something else frowned on by the Borg...)
Snakes ()
nope I didn't get to go. My parents thought it was too worldly...but I was allowed to go over a JW girls house and help her and another JW girl get ready for the prom. They both had worldly dates.
My dad later gave a special needs talk about proms.
I also know of a JW that took his...ready for this...his older sister. She was like 25.
lisa
I didn't attend my senior prom as a jw but as a jw associate , my date was (and from what I hear) still is a jw and has made it to the rank of elder . I asked him at the hall *gasp* and he said yes (wasn't aware that he had a crush on me). I made my own dress, my cousin(jw) helped me get ready, and my parents (jws) came down to see me off (I was living with my grandmother, also a jw). We had a good time, tho' there wasn't any hanky panky except the huge lip smacker I laid on him when he brought me home. I still have my prom pic.
Josie
Lisavegas420:
My dad later gave a special needs talk about proms.
Ain't it great being an elder's kid?
mrsjones5:
I still have my prom pic.
This brings up a related question similar to what I asked Snakes:
Did you enjoy your Senior Prom (if you went)?
Is the fact that you weren't allowed to go, (if you weren't allowed) a big deal to you looking back?
BTW, here's my prom story, or rather non-story. Being an elder's kid and living in an area where non-married JWs didn't even dance at weddings, (back then, it's changed a little now I hear) there was NO WAY IN H*LL I even DREAMED of going. I didn't even CONSIDER asking my parents about it. So when I was asked by a girl to go, I had to drag out the old tried-and-true "it's against my religion" line. She of course had the usual, WTF?, look on her face. And that was the end of it. To be honest, not going to the prom is not something I look back on with huge regrets. Being a social outcast at school (pretty much) is the bigger issue which I do have a measure of resentment about. By the time the prom came along, the idea of going there and just being a nerdy wallflower didn't appeal to me that much.
Open Mind
OM,
My prom experience was pretty similar. I'm not sure I would have went if I wasn't a JW because I was pretty socially awkward and spent most of my teenage years in a depressed state (although I never shared that with anyone at the time). Was it being a JW that made me that way? Probably not. I'm thinking it sure didn't help me any!
I know of a situation that a MS who was dating a senior (he was probably 18-19) went and because his father was PO, nothing happened. But, the BOE had some pretty heated discussions over it. Sadly I was on the "remove him" side being the zealot I was.
I could easily see a person losing "privileges" or even the old man taking a hit for allowing his son/daughter to go. As you know, depends on how big of a deal the BOE wants to make of it. Get a group of born-in, no kids guys, I think they'd come down with both feet.
I have much bigger regrets over not being allowed to play sports than I do for not going to the prom!
