Auld, your rewrite is excellent- I had the same text highlighted to comment on but now I don't have to!
Welcome Mr. M, and please know that as the others have said there is nothing wrong with lengthy posting- sometimes it's the only way to get it out and you can't keep this stuff bottled up. It'll eat you alive if you do.
Reason for living??? How's this for a start.
Think of "I lost everything" as "I have a blank slate upon which to rewrite my life- and it can be anything I want."
No stupid, ridiculous JW 'theocratic' rules to hold you back from say, going back to school and being what you wanted to be for a profession but could not because it wasn't 'theocratic'. That's just one example.
Many of us here had to walk away from everything and everyone we ever knew to get free. I was born in- so literally all my relatives and friends were in.
I made it out with the help of a few friends online for support- that was all I had. They weren't even exJW's, I didn't have the guts to search for JW related websites till I'd been out almost two years already.
There is a lot of support to be had. Don't expect to feel better overnight- but it can happen over time, I am living proof and that is nothing short of a minor miracle. Though I didn't do it with 'god's' help so to speak, but with the help of fellow "imperfect' humans.
Tie a knot and hang on to it, and keep talking. You're not alone.
essie