I am stupid...

by metaspy 15 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Dorktacular

  Dude, sorry to tell you, but you can't save this chick. Trust me, I have been there. You want to help and you think you can help her, but most likely you can't. Even if you get her to love you and leave the JWs with you, there will still be problems. Oh, sure, you two might be happy for a few months because you'll be living off of the high that comes with new love and infatuation, pluse the unexplored new-found freedom that comes from leaving the JWs. But, after a few months, she'll settle back into her emotional rut, except now she'll have new ammunition to reaffirm her emotions. You will be the whipping boy for all of her problems. She will be soooo unhappy because YOU made her leave the organization and if it weren't for YOU, she'd be happy... and so on and so forth. You will become her emotional crutch. Trust me dude, you may really love her and care for her, but I'm willing to bet that nothing good can come of it for you or her.

  I know it sucks to hear that, but you're doing the best thing you can right now. Leave the organization and get your head on straight. Learn to live a normal life and then try and find out where a woman fits into that equation for you. That's all the advice that I guy who has been there can give. :)
• 

  LeslieV

  I have to agree with everyone else that has posted. Please think of yourself......you are trying to rescue her, but the only person that can do that is herself. You need to find happiness for you.....where whoever is going to share your life is a partner, not someone that you have to take care of. Good luck

  Leslie
• 

  quietlyleaving

  metaspy

  She is just an amazing person in all aspects of her personality. Except for the self destructive part.

  she sounds too nice and too amazing to me with perhaps not enough of the not so nice qualities that enable us all to function.
• 

  quietlyleaving

  Kairi is someone I trust not to tell the elders.
  She definitely wont tell them about our conversation. As she told me not to tell also.
  But how stupid am I to tell her anything about it after she told me that she was striving to be reinstated?!?
  Kairi did say that if I leave, she will make sure that Zelda never goes with me.

  I don't think you are stupid at all for telling Kairi your story - you went with your instincts and you wanted to help her too. I have confided my thoughts about the WTS with a few loyal dubs I trust and they haven't turned me and I feel I can trust them not to.
• 

  Burger Time

  I love when dubs say, "the world has nothing to offer". Yea, guess what the "the world" is a big fucking scary place. I imagine it is the same sentiment as "worldly" family members telling a bible study the "dubs" have nothing to offer. They both have nothing to "offer" for the same reasons. It's DIFFICULT to do ANYTHING completely strange and new. Of course dubs are "sheep" and are willing to give up immediately on anything not stamped with JW approval, so it seems there really is "nothing" there in the world. Arg!

  As for your Zelda, I think you need to crap or get off the pot. Just tell her what the deal is then bounce. Let her find you if you she likes you.
• 

  Gopher

  I don't think you're stupid, but your good intentions maybe went a little too far.

  As JW's we were trained to believe that if we just said the right things, the "Truth"-ful things, that people would come around.

  It doesn't always work. You can't rescue people, especially those who aren't ready to be rescued.

  Sometimes we just have to let people work things out for themselves and save our energy for something more likely to be productive.