Hi everyone... I have a "hypothetical" situation... Here's the issue: I have an "ex" (baptised but no longer involved with the JWs)... We got divorced legally, but not for "scriptual" reasons (not because of adultery) Said ex has now moved away but it has been found out that they are living with a member of the opposite sex. Same mailing address, single family home, etc. Is this enough grounds for disfellowshipping? or do I really need (as some JWs have insinuated) to have more "proof"... do I need to hire an investigator to take photos of them in the bedroom for pete's sake???? Any thoughts/ideas would be most appreciated. Thanks!
Assistance requested before someone ends up spending mucho $$$$!
by JBean 18 Replies latest jw friends
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REBORNAGAIN
I got DF for being in my Ex's house for 2 weeks after the divorce.
LINDA
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JBean
REALLY? How weird! What did they think, they you were continuing to sleep together after you got divorced? Is that why? Supposedly PROOF is needed that there's a sexual relationship going on. No?
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DazedAndConfused
From what I understand, you need 2 witnesses. Not necessarily to the actual act but witnesses saying they saw the person of the opposite sex entering the home and spending the entire night. I think it takes staying and watching the house all night recording when the person entered and when they left. Of course, with their numbers dwindling now, I'm not so sure that even this would make a difference.
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Gopher
JBean,
This should generate some interesting answers!!
From what I've seen, it depends on the elders involved. A close female relative of mine (JW) was married to another young "brother" who was running around on her. The elders first said two eyewitnesses would be enough, but that proved false. They later raised the bar and said they needed photographic evidence.
This hypocrisy on the elders' part was the last straw for my relative, she DA'd herself.
I wonder where the bar was set for others who knew their JW spouse was staying out late or overnight with some love interest they weren't married to.
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Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
In print they say witnesses are required. If you wanted to call them to explain what the situation is, they might 'investigate'.
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JBean
I am looking forward to hearing responses to this for sure. I am getting the feeling that it indeed depends on the congregation, personalities of the elders involved and pretty much anything else they want to throw into the mix before a decision is made. Unfortunately, my gut tells me that in this type of situation, hiding in a bedroom closet would probably do the trick. But then the victim would probably get arrested and get DF'd for that!
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REBORNAGAIN
They had no proof of anything, only assumed. They expected me to apologize for being in the home and I did not hesitate one bit to tell them "No, I will not apologize, because I didn't see anything wrong with it!"
LINDA
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JBean
Good for you Linda! It probably was heartbreaking (on SO many levels) at the time, but it seems you've pulled through and moved on and are happier now than then... hopefully!
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REBORNAGAIN
Btw, my Ex had women spending the night in his home. A sister too. What were they up to? Why did the elders not question that set up? A*****...all of them.
LINDA