I'm sympathizing with the faded ex-wife. The marriage is over, she doesn't report to elders anymore.
If someone wants to be a witness and follow their rules for scriptural divorce, then I would suggest they talk to the elders in their congregation.
Hypothetically speaking, that is.
Assistance requested before someone ends up spending mucho $$$$!
by JBean 18 Replies latest jw friends
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Paralipomenon
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REBORNAGAIN
Happier now? Oh... you betcha! Wish I saw the light sooner.
LINDA
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AK - Jeff
Some elders are more fickle than others it seems.
My cousin was reproved for oral sex with his wife - he was so dubbed that he reported himself. Then a few months later his wife moved out of the house, took the kids, and moved openly in with another man [non-jw] in another city. The elders kept playing games with 'jurisdiction' issues for several years while he was not able to remarry. They finally acted after he continued to stay on their cases about it.
He didn't have pictures - but that might have helped - the elder's seem generally to prefer the prurient approach.
Jeff
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oompa
JBean, I dont get this thread or your question. What dif does it make? Do you want him df's for vengence or something? Are you df'd or faded. What the hey?.....oompa
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sspo
According to the "elders book", anyone who is staying overnight with the opposite sex is enough evidence of immorality.
Most JC will df a person.
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JBean
Thanks for all the comments so far... and the "Hypothetical" is because this is not about me. I'm questioning for someone else actually. And the reason the DFing is needed on the faded ex... is because the person in question wants to move forward with their life and (unfortunately for them) wants to remain in the organization. The faded ex is a very deceitful and vengeful person... so they will NEVER come forward to say yes... I'm living with someone so let's all move on. Sigh...
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rogerdodger
There is absolutely no standard on this. Your friend should be prepared, because it could be an indefinite amount of time before anything happens. It absolutely depends on which brothers were asked for help.
Before you read this realize I still suffer from lurkers' paranoia so there is no specific he/she in the story.
In my case, my ex was sleeping around. Before I knew of this, they said they needed some time to think things through..whatever. Finally my ex decided that divorce was the only way and then I started tracking things on our home computer after we separated. We were both sporadically inactive through our marriage but I decided that this event was a sign that I needed to get back into the congregation. I did and reached out to the elders when my ex would not. I regained good standing while my ex avoided all contact with the congregation and our friends. The elders had plenty of time to really try and talk to them and they did not. Because my ex would not admit anything I had gathered plenty of e-mail and finally video evidence of what was going on. My ex had an account on Match.com a month after we separated. The elders wanted nothing to do with any 'electronic evidence' stating possible legal problems for viewing something that was 'private'. I finally got my ex to send a letter to the BOE stating that they committed adultery and was told that it was enough evidence. Six months later I am told that it most certainly is not enough and that no elder would ever tell me this. It was then explained that in order for me to be free to move on that my ex would have to be dealt with judicially and I should just be patient. 1 year after that, after lots of BS, it was finally over but I didn't care any more. I was DF a year after and even though I am without family or friends I can't say I miss the org or the 'loving' eldiots.
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sass_my_frass
Why do you need your ex disfellowshipped? What will that achieve?
Any JC needs a confession or two witnesses. A non-JW, or inactive JW, is not a reliable witness.
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rogerdodger
In order to be free to date/marry, there must be scriptural grounds for divorce. Scriptural grounds being that either person has committed fornication, which is the basis for disfellowshipping. If someone claims they are free, under this view, there has to be a guilty party. The innocent mate must wait until the elders give the 'green light' or face punishment of their own.
RD