How did you break away?

by zennin 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • zennin
    zennin

    7 months ago I came to a foreign country on a working holiday visa for, you know, a 'wonderful experience'- I had plans to pioneer and a kind of determination to use this time to prove to myself, and to Jehovah, that I can be loyal to him no matter what...

    Have I failed? I don't think so, but even as I type this I think it is too early for me to answer or even ask that question.. All I know is that during the past 7 months I have done more research and more deep thinking and meditation than I have done in my whole life. I have met wonderful wonderful people- many of them witnesses who have helped me out immensely and shown me a lot of kindness, and many of them non-witnesses- just ordinary people with their own moral foundations and personal philosophies. So many people in this 'wicked world' are oh so loving and display such kind heartedness- kind heartedness from within their own selves, which I have come to admire much more than kindness out of obligation to some pledge or organisation..

    Anyway, I digress. There are many many points that I have thus far considered and settled in my mind, and many many more that I would love to raise and discuss with open minded, intelligent people. But basically, the thing that sums it all up for me is: how could a loving God punish any individual on this earth, including any of the billions who live in slums in India or in rubbish dumps in South East Asia or in deserts in Central Africa or in igloos in ?? the North Pole ?? or in trees in South America or in caves in the Middle East etc etc for failing to find amongst the millions of religions in this world and plegde loyalty to The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsilvania?? And for failing to live up to the standards for life and morality as dictated by a few imperfect (though perhaps well-intended) men?? And for failing to defeat the all powerful, immensely superior and wicked spirit creatures bent on breaking our personal integrity? How How How??

    I am sure this has been discussed many times over on this forum, but I am new here and just wanting to vent a miniscule portion of the thoughts whirling around inside my head. As I said, I am alone here in a strange land and I may go crazy if I don't talk to someone.... Oh but I remember now, I did start this thread originally to ask you: how did you go about breaking away from 'the truth'?? (I think the real reason I'm here is actually to find the courage to do it..) My mum, who I never want to hurt, has been a witness for over 25 years. My sister, my best friend, is also a witness... I am in a foreign country but I am involved in the local congregation and living in an apartment owned by one of the brothers... I feel trapped,(and yet slightly liberated by my recent freedom of thought!) I know now that loyalty to and love for my family and maybe even to God should never constitute loyalty to an organisation... Anyway, Just want to hear your experiences- but not bitter, angry thoughts pleeease

    .............thankyou for this forum.........

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    WELCOME, Zennin!

    Ian

    Edited to add this is my story: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/47295/1.ashx

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Welcome, welcome

    You say: how could a loving God punish any individual on this earth, including any of the billions who live in slums in India or in rubbish dumps in South East Asia or in deserts in Central Africa or in igloos in ?? the North Pole ?? or in trees in South America or in caves in the Middle East etc etc for failing to find amongst the millions of religions in this world and plegde loyalty to The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsilvania??

    Further, if people have been visited by JW's, how could God expect them to accept the absolute truth of life's very
    nature from some whackos standing in the 2 feet of snow outside their door? How could God expect people to
    decide to go to the Kingdom Hall because some flyer was left in their doorjamb?

    I agree that there are billions who are not really contacted by JW's, and of the ones who crossed paths with them,
    many were busy dodging bullets, or searching for food, or dealing with sickness or other depressing matters. A God
    who cares would recognize that they didn't just reject "the truth" but didn't recognize it because of life's problems.

    how did you go about breaking away from 'the truth'??

    You do this a little at a time. You must ultimately decide if you are going to just walk away after research or
    fade away by doing less and less. Feel free to ask many questions here. If sudden change is going to cause
    trouble, plan ahead. Do something eventually about those living circumstances. Until then, feel free to skip a
    meeting here and there. Consider ending the preaching work- slowly or all together, it's up to you.

    Many fake their Service slip when they cannot promote WTS doctrine anymore and cannot recruit. Start thinking
    of service that way- it is recruiting, not preaching. It's literature distribution, not spreading good news. Others go
    out, but make sure they don't start studies and really don't place literature.

    Some use medical depression as their reason for cutting back. That's a good idea. The guilt trip applied by WTS
    can make anyone depressed. Others offer no explanation, but just cut back or walk away.

    I hope I stirred your mind toward making your own plan. Come on back and post more anytime.

    Edited to add: You may get many replies on this thread, but if not, we just received bad news from Dedpoet,
    another poster, and your responses are limited because of that. Still, you should get many welcomes and thoughts
    if you comment again on this thread, bumping it to the front.

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23
    how could a loving God punish any individual on this earth, including any of the billions who live in slums in India or in rubbish dumps in South East Asia or in deserts in Central Africa or in igloos in ?? the North Pole ?? or in trees in South America or in caves in the Middle East etc etc for failing to find amongst the millions of religions in this world and plegde loyalty to The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsilvania??

    Umm... what? ya never been to - http://www.GodIsImaginary.com before?

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Zennin -

    Great first post, and welcome to the forum. Come here any time for support, that's what it's for. Good you have Internet access wherever you are now.

    For me, breaking away was quite easy as I was falsely accused and DF'd by power-loving elders. Actually they did me a favor, because for the first time I was forced to look at things from the outside. So physically I was out by mentally still in (the opposite of your situation). I read and researched, and finally becamse mentally free.

    Maybe you will be able to break further away (physically) after your lease expires, if possible? I don't know what else to say about breaking away except best wishes and come here for support.

    Those were great questions about what an injustice that Armageddon (as hoped for by JW's) would be. They're questions not often considered in the tunnel vision that is the JW dreamland.

  • minimus
    minimus

    WELCOME!

    The fact is, it's generally a process. It takes time to figure out how, when and why you should leave. Once you realize it ain't the "Truth", it's easier to begin drifting away.

  • 4digitcode
    4digitcode

    don't worry about those millions of people. Don't you know the good news is preached in 19836480 lands in 16598429 languages.

    Ans also god is waiting for EVERYONE to be saved.
    Good news, innit?

    But on a serious note,
    i was disfellowshipped but my best advice to you would be fade fade fade. Many here have done it, i'm sure they can give you great tips.

    you had the strength within yourself to do research and challenge a belief system you had your whole life. Now you'll take steps to break away from its grip. And everyone will be here to support you!
    welcome!!!

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Welcome. A vacation in a totally different environment for a period of time is an excellent way to get your mind cleared so you can think things through more objectively, from the outside, sort of.

    For me to leave, it only took reading ray franz' crisis of conscience book. He described how the governing body meetings took place. I could see then, that the organization was not directed by god. Already, before that, i had been wallowing in guilt, feeling inadequite, and depression for a few yrs, even though i had stepped out to serve more/better a lot.

    Take your time to figure things out. If you need any more information, this site is a good place to ask/look for it. You can get almost any wt book/mag/booklets here. Also other historical, scientific and social background is available, along w lots of people w their comments. Some of them are even smart ;)

    S

  • zennin
    zennin

    I'm grateful you are all so willing to offer advice.. Because...I need more...

    Just last night at the meeting the PO (who also happens to be my next door neighbour) informed me that he and another elder are planning to make a shepherding call on me, and asked when is a convenient time for them to drop round to my place.. When they do come I don't know what to do! Is admitting to my doubts a really really dumb idea? Does that usually result in Df'ing? I can't hide the fact that I'm spiritually 'sick', but I really don't know how much I should lay bare. Another important factor iwhich will have a bearing on my actions is that my very faithful and very zealous pioneer mother is coming from my home country to visit me in just over a week- and I'm worried that whatever I do reveal in the shepherding call will be relayed to her during her visit- which of course will result in severe emotional turmoil... It's just bad bad timing...

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    Is admitting to my doubts a really really dumb idea? Does that usually result in Df'ing? I can't hide the fact that I'm spiritually 'sick', but I really don't know how much I should lay bare.

    You should not be DF'ed for having doubts, but you can. They can ask you if you believe WTS is
    God's representative or a similar question, then DF based on your answer. That's rare if you just say
    "I have doubts." Still, it is opening a door to suspicion.

    Your mother coming for a visit, that is a tough place to be in. Only you can know whether you are
    ready to face "the truth" or not. It sound like (my opinion only) you are not ready.

    You must decide how to proceed. If you want to start planning your exit from WTS after Mom's visit,
    that is understandable. If you want to give a clue now, that is an idea, also. Saying you have some
    doubts and having honest discussion- there's nothing wrong with it, but you have to be ready for their
    consequences.

    I am fading, I would advise you to tell the elders everything is fine. OR I would cancel the shepherding
    visit, saying, "I am fine. I am not wanting your visit at this time." That allows you to say nothing, yet
    still let them know something might be wrong. Others would advise you to get started and tell them
    your problems. It's really up to you. I would advise you to have a nice visit with Mom, dropping just
    a few hints. "Mom, I have been reading older literature. I am very confused about [1975, this generation,
    disfellowshipping, blood doctrine, the great crowd, being anointed]. (Whatever you really want to discuss.)

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