have you found it difficult? (page 2)

Awakened07

I have no problem talking to people and being liked by people of all ages and both sexes at work - - - - but that seems to be the extent of it. You'd think I'd automatically get some friends out of it, but no. I once told a couple of people that I was a JW, and since I became non-active, I've only told one about that (several people are new, so I haven't thought it necessary), but perhaps there is a rumor going around that I'm a witness? At any rate, one of my problems as others have mentioned too, is that I've never been a party animal, and I really don't like drunk people or getting drunk myself. That's a pretty common pastime among my coworkers, especially at the weekends. So - I currently have no friends.

TMI? Probably.

dust

I've always been a "worldly" person. I don't have many friends. Apart from my wife, I have one very close friend + his wife, and a couple of not quite as close friends that I still trust as friends. And a lot of acquaintances that I wouldn't tell too much about myself. I don't know if this is of any consolation for you, though. :)

The-Borg

4digit, it can be very lonely. My wife and I are in the same boat, she has been a witness all her life and all her family are witnesses. We are also moving away to a new town so we don't have to keep seeing and being seen all the time. Its like starting all over again.

We'll both be at the London get together, hope to see you there.

Regards David.

oompa

TMI? Probably.

Not at all 07. I dont understand how you were ever a dub if you dont like heavy drinkers though!....I am trying to stop this bad habit, but have slipped this week. .....oompa

anglise

Yep this one is very difficult to remedy.

We lost our friends when we became dubs and now having left the dubs its hard to start again.

Most on the forums seem to be younger than us (51/52) and so we dont have much in common.

Anglise

yknot

We are/ were not part of the world. The world is permitted friendship. Unless you join another religion that has many "social" activities and groups, it is a long journey ahead.

Funny I have never in my entire life had a JW close or best friend and I was raised JW. I have had and still have many "daily acqaintances". I think it is part of the conditions that we endure in the "be not" rhetoric, the fact that friends snitch to elders, and that worldly associations are frowned, if not forbidden. Besides who had time for friendship when there was all that reading. Were any of you EX-JWs, really friends with your co-KH members or just FS buddies? A means to an end.

I also have to take responsibility too, I like my space and letting people in is scary because as a JW or Ex-Jw that means you are different, there may be rejection or judgment.

shopaholic

Add me to the club!!! I'm finding it very difficult. I'm outgoing and I know folks enjoy my company but I just haven't found the right folks. I've gotten involved in several things I enjoy, like volunteering at charities and various local fashion events. So at least I'm getting out of the house now. I went to a non-witness wedding last weekend and had a nice time but didn't really make any connections. Its so funny, I spent so many years turning down invites from non-witnesses and now when I want them their no where to be found. But I know it takes time.

Also, how do you explain to someone that you don't have any friends?..."Uh...well...I was in this cult....and uh...I left and now they won't play with me."

4digitcode

i agree shopaholic. it's just too weird saying you were in a cult. Although i did once and the response was..'oh really?'.....i said 'yeah but i got kicked out!'.... he then said 'ROCK N' ROOOOLL'.......so hey

shopaholic

This weekend I'm going to a charity event, alone. I'm so afraid that I'm going to look so lonely. There's a slim chance that I might know someone there. I got a ticket for a friend but he just told me he can't make it because of work. To not go would be pathetic, to go alone is pathetic but a little bit brave as well I guess. Entry to the event starts at $200 (I got free tickets -- perks of volunteering) so if there are any single guys there at least there's a high probability they won't be broke like the JW guy that I allowed to string me along for the past 10 years. But if I met someone I probably wouldn't follow through anyway...I'd be too afraid that I would end up on the evening news.

4digit...have you tried meeting up with ex-JWs in your area?

mrsjones5

Yes, all the time. I have gone through a period of several years without having a few personal friends, I was so lonely. I'm fortunate now that I have found friends who understand that I'm not being standoffish...that this loner thing is in my DNA now (I really do hate it, I want to be more open) and it's difficult for me. I married a really outgoing man who also understands me and doesn't push me to be just like him.

Josie

have you found it difficult?

Share this