call me inkling

by inkling 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • inkling
    inkling

    I am witness, "in good standing", and (at the
    moment) technically still a ministerial servant.

    Even as a child, I asked far too many questions
    for my own good, doing much to bewilder and
    bemuse my loving and well intentioned parents.

    Over the course of this childhood, I secretly
    disowned some of the dogma I had grown up with,
    such as the notion of pre-flood nonviolence in the
    animal kingdom, with the literal fulfillment of lions
    eating straw. I just could not imagine why a ingenious
    and clever God would create so many darkly beautiful
    killing machines placed in the complicated watchwork
    of a circle of life who's obvious theme is one of death
    and rebirth, ashes and Phoenix, pain digging a
    furrow for hope... only to scrap it for a stagnant,
    glossy picture of a warm and fuzzy world where
    spiders eat... acorns? and all animals die peacefully
    in their sleep of old age. (what happens to the
    carcass? I guess God blinks and they go away)
    This is a picture of a world that would have to
    be constantly maintained by an endless chain of
    interventionist miracles, and that to me was a
    picture of a distastefully uninspired Watchmaker.

    This lurking doubt, this Dark Passenger, became
    an increasingly important part of me, for good and
    ill. On, the good side, as I acquired critical thinking
    and writing skills, the quality of my talks improved
    significantly. I became skillful at the nimble acrobatics
    required to offer a talk on a subject which my convictions
    less than aligned with the party line. This meant that
    I expressed things from an angle the congregation had
    never been exposed to before, and since I had enough
    diplomacy to avoid actually contradicting Current Light,
    my talks were well received by many. A few often chided
    me for "using big words" and "thinking to much", but I
    found that many sincere friends, even those of humble
    academic education, found resonance in my off-center
    spirituality.

    Alas, all good things must end, and not too long after
    giving my first public talk, I started down a path of
    research that would inevitable lead me here. Soon I
    stumbled on a horde of stellar books on themes of science,
    faith, history, critical thinking, and philosophy that blew
    wide my mind to the complexity and countless shades of
    grey found in the universe. Along the way however, I
    suffered the fatality of my fundamentalism. I am not
    sorry, but a part of me does miss the warm comfort that
    comes from being absolutely sure of something really big.

    And so, after years of escalating feedback loops of
    cognitive dissonance, I (with the help and resonance of
    my brilliant wife) came to face my doubts squarely
    and admit to myself that I no longer believe. Maybe
    I want to believe, maybe I still believe fragments,
    but the fact is, I openly doubted the existence of
    God, and the literal truth of the Bible. That is
    something a ministerial servant is simply not allowed
    to do, at least not out loud.

    Over the past few months I have had many hours worth of
    conversations with my parents, my friends, and the
    elders. These conversations have been often frustrating,
    occasionally enlightening, and surprisingly honest.

    I have openly admitted to: doubting in God, not believing
    or respecting particular statements in the Watchtower,
    not believing there is one true religion, questioning
    the name of God, admitting the plausibility of evolution,
    denying that a loving God should be held responsible for
    the laws found in the old testament, and even to reading
    apostate literature, including R Franz.

    All of this information was volunteered by me, on my terms,
    with as much tact, love, and sensitivity to their position
    as possible. The results have been surprisingly non explosive.

    Despite what I had come to expect from the "coming out"
    experiences on the Internet, I found the elders to be
    understanding, sincere, and kind.

    Paranoid? Yes.
    Vastly ignorant of the issues discussed? Yes.

    But I simply saw sincere (if narrow) people, trying desperately
    to help a wounded sheep. No Big Brother. No Inquisition.
    I'm not sure why, and quite a few times a feel I VERY
    narrowly dodged the "Loyalty Test", so I KNOW your highly
    negative experiences are true, and I totally see how, with
    a slightly different attitude, mine could have crashed and
    burned in very similar ways, but that fact remains it did not.

    The Elders are awaiting a letter confirming my stepping down
    as a MS. I am still allowed, and in fact massively encouraged,
    to still go out in field service despite not really believing
    in the literal truth of The Bible (!), Although my conscience
    has not allowed me to go out for several months now.

    I can, and do, comment at the watchtower study. The "good bits"
    that make it through my filter getting smaller and smaller, but
    I still manage.

    I honestly don't know where I will go from here, but I do know
    that going out with a bang will solve nothing, and only hurt
    those I love the most. I am not willing to let an earthly
    organization steal from me my family and remaining friends.

    If, someday, we have children, I want those children to have
    meaningful grandparents, aunts, uncles, family dinners, and
    hot coco with marshmellows at grandmas house.

    I cannot change the Watchtower.
    I cannot change my family tree.

    I am not willing to compromise my own intellectual integrity,
    but at the same time the pragmatic part of me knows that if
    I am going to salvage anything resembling a Phoenix from the
    wreckage of my childhood faith, I am going to have to play
    their game by their rules.

    And so, my dear Dark Passenger... I'm going to have to ask
    you move over, buckle up, and let me do the talking.

    [inkling]

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    Welcome to the boards!! And.....you know their rules are unfair and the odds seemed stacked against us.

  • inkling
    inkling

    Obviously the rules are unfair, and the deck is stacked...

    But is that not the case with many of lifes games? How
    fair is an academic school class? You can't REALLY be
    yourself, at least except in front of very few remarkable
    professors. We all filter who we are to avoid distroying
    situations that we need to go well.

    [ink]

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Inkling,

    Welcome to the discussion board! That was a fascinating post, telling us how you got to where you are now (mentally).

    Hopefully the cognitive dissonance won't ring too loudly in your head as you continue your path from inside the organization, because we don't want you to go crazy. But this board is a good place to vent when the craziness becomes intense.

    Have you also read the weekly "Comments You Won't Hear at the Watchtower Study" thread? It is highly recommended for those who still must attend the Hall, for the good analysis of what the WTS is really saying and why!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Oooh, I want so much more for you.

    Would it be possible to ADD new groups or hobbies in your life that have nothing to do with the Witnesses? You have a terribly jaded view of all systems. There ARE good groups and good people out there. I'd like you to find SOMEONE you can be yourself with.

    It's possible, yes it is.

  • oompa
    oompa

    Over the past few months I have had many hours worth of
    conversations with my parents, my friends, and the
    elders. These conversations have been often frustrating,
    occasionally enlightening, and surprisingly honest.

    I have openly admitted to: doubting in God, not believing
    or respecting particular statements in the Watchtower,
    not believing there is one true religion, questioning
    the name of God, admitting the plausibility of evolution,
    denying that a loving God should be held responsible for
    the laws found in the old testament, and even to reading
    apostate literature, including R Franz.

    All of this information was volunteered by me, on my terms,
    with as much tact, love, and sensitivity to their position
    as possible. The results have been surprisingly non explosive.

    I am slower than you, my conversations in earnest have been a few years now. My questions and doubts are much like yours. I did not read apostate literature, nor Franz, but did see some info on the net while doing my research. However the results have been explosive, but mostly with my wife and son. The elders cared a little, one anyway, but they do not have clue and have not been able to answer a single question, much less ever had one of mine! I'm betting your dad may be an elder too? Welcome to JWD...if you have visited here for long, you already know there a heck of a lot of good caring people here.....oompa

  • eclipse
    eclipse

    Do you watch Dexter?

  • changeling
    changeling

    Welcome inkling!

    You have a PM.

    changeling

  • Fatfreek
    Fatfreek

    Hi Inkling,

    That's one of most impressive introductions of oneself I've read here on JWD. You are not only skilled at writing, you are obviously skilled at human interaction when you unloaded on the elders. Your body of elders are admirably less hostile to you than I've ever heard -- but that is probably due more to your people skills than their compassion. Kudos to you.

    You now know there is no going back to those comfort feelings of the old days.

    You have wisely (in my opinion) resisted becoming overtly hostile and and avoided cutting yourself off from the borg, perhaps trying to preverve certain relationships that you value. If you can continue this way, you can do much worthwhile "insider" work. You can say things to certain JW's that I can never say because I am an outsider (as of 30 years ago).

    The Borg can caution its membership against me but finds it very difficult to deal with you. I wish you the very best.

    Len Miller

  • blueviceroy
    blueviceroy

    Honesty is the light that shines the best and the brightest on all of mankinds endevors. It will lead you to fullfillment of the highest order and understanding that cannot be subverted .

    Welcome to the world brother seeker ,may you find your own truth.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit