The best revenge (page 3)

AnneB

Junction-Guy said:

"I want to be happy like I was at one time."

I think he means that there was a time when he trusted without even thinking about it, when he thought that there were people who had his good at heart just the same as he had their good in his heart. When life is like that you wake up every day with a feeling of security, not because of your financial situation or your job skills, but because you are part of an invisible supportive network made up of love. When life is like that you can get through almost anything. If that feeling is ripped away it leaves you so torn apart that you don't know if you can pull yourself back together or not, or if you should even try since what you thought you had isn't there now.

I don't want to put words in his mouth but that's my take on what he's trying to say.

Twitch

BTW other people can't make you happy if your not allready happy.They can add to your happyness but they can't make you happy.No girlfriend/boyfriend in the world can make a unhappy person happy all on their own.Happyness comes from with in.

I totally agree

WTWizard

Happiness is a function of things you developed during your lifetime, and all too often the time spent in the Watchtower Society ruined much of that. People are not able to catch up on education, and are stuck in stagnation-trap jobs that pay crap because they did not go to college. Social skills are also impaired, and there is the complication that many have forgone worldly relationships and even families when they were going in. And then there is the harassment and hounding that the Tower itself continues to exert on people that are trying to escape.

However, people are better off if they leave than if they would have stayed in. No matter how much damage the Tower has already caused, if people stay in, they are only going to add to it. Not to mention additional wasted years, plus the people they will harass on Saturday afternoons and the few that will fall for the scam. No matter how much they ruined your life, once you get out, you will no longer have that share in ruining others' lives. And the damage they do can be stopped at that point, as you try to catch up on education and social skills. Even if you don't totally catch up, the least you will do by leaving the Tower is they will not be able to add further to it.

shopaholic

Gopher, what excellent quotes!!!

shopaholic

JG,

I feel where you are coming from. Somtimes when I'm reading various posts I wonder what I'm doing wrong. There are some people on this board that really seem to have their act together but then I have to remember that it doesn't take much effort to simply post a few cliches. Sure being happy is simple enough but you have to find your way to a mental space that allows you to accept the simplicity of it all. That's the hard part. Some of on this board are more effected by our JW upbringing/affliliation than we or they could ever understand. Some are so affected that professional help may be necessary to navigate through all the apparent or suppressed angst, bitterness and self-doubt that prevents us from getting to the place where we can even allow ourselves to be happy.

If you could change your life right now, how would it be different? What job would you have? How much money would you make? Would you be in love? What would the person look like? What would they smell like? How would you feel when they whisper your name? How would people view you? Would they love you? Would they respect you? Would they say that JG is a compassionate person?

Once you know exactly what you want or feel you need to make you happy, why not write it down? Write it all down. Then why not have a face-to-face with yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what it will take to make you happy? Its very rare that we vocalize things to ourselves as we usually just have a list of thoughts or silent conversations in our mind.

Knowing what you want, if you want anything at all is very key. Its one of the first steps to knowing what you expect from this life. From there, you can manage your expectations. It takes effort and patience and sometimes professional assistance. Its all part of the journey now that curtain has been pulled back and we no longer feel the security of JW organization. Most people are sleep-walking through life and can reach their "happiness destination" faster than others. That's why it's important not to measure our happiness by someone's else's happiness.

Thanks for sharing and know that you are not alone. Best wishes on your journey.

Dansk

Hi Junction-Guy!

Is there a Mrs. Junction-Guy or a partner you have? You see, I have to say that I am very happy but much of that happiness is because I am deeply in love with my wife, Claire, who is my soul-mate and rock. As you are aware, I've been through a bad spell with my health, but Claire helped me get through it. Also, people here never let me forget I had their support, too, for which I am extremely grateful.

I can honestly say that even in my darkest hours, which stemmed from my illness, I never once entertained any thought of happiness being a JW. Now, I DO look back and wonder where my life has gone - so blooming quick - and there is much I miss, primarily my youthful energy and Claire's too. I put this down to a mid-life crisis

My best weight was 9st 8lbs and I could run a mile in 4 mins 5 seconds. I was superbly fit and had a good physique. Now, I'm over 11 stone and my best days are behind me. I think, perhaps, that's where you are now. You probably think a lot, as I do, about the past. But you know what, I've realised that thinking about the past or wondering about the future robs us of the present!

I'm 53 years of age and have a great deal to live for. I have places to see and people I've never met to visit, some on here! I'm hoping to visit the USA next year with Claire. I've realised I've missed out on so much and that life really is for living and money is for spending (though not getting into debt which, happily, I am free of). My mortgage days are now behind me, but it took 26 years to pay it off! Like everyone else with a family and mortgage there's hard work and worry about meeting bills. That's the problem with life, it can drag us down with worries - but many are of our own making.

My illness allowed me to put things into perspective. Our health truly is the greatest blessing we have. We should make the most of it.

Keep strong JG. Live for today.

Ian

sass_my_frass

This just in:

People who have had a more 'normal' life generally pick up a few interests and hobbies along the way. We got to adulthood without exploring anything that we might enjoy or have talent in. Over the next year, try fifty things you want to do. That's not the big stuff like working out who you are, figuring out the meaning of life etc. I just mean the little things - hobbies. Try cooking, dancing, join sports teams, try bodybuilding, yoga, mechanics, kitemaking, trainspotting, literature, birdwatching, car racing, painting, studying, gardening, movie clubs, chess, volunteering, warcraft... you get the picture. Do it all. Start filling the big hole in your life with other stuff. Eventually you've gotta hit something that really takes your interest, and that you are really good at. That will be fantastic for how you feel about yourself.

What is working for me, now that I'm free of the concepts of my childhood, is study (doing a degree) and volunteering. The first is great because I'm learning that I'm pretty smart and that there is SO much out there. The second is great because I get to compare my life to other people whose lives are really considerably crapper than mine. That's really what has gotten me out of my bubble. I'm grateful I'm me now. When I was depressed it would have been no help at all for somebody to say that to me, I had to see it for myself.

Junction-Guy

So many people responded here, I couldnt even begin to reply to everyone.

I think AnneB is close in her observations, alot of that rings true for me.

I do need some new hobbies though, right now Im just so busy and focused on my brothers politcal aspirations that I dont have much free time for other pursuits.

Dansk, yes there was a Mrs.Junction Guy, we are currently separated and I miss her alot.

Lola28, you can go flip sand and go back to your kingdom hall for all I care. People like you piss me off big time, im just gonna have to do a better job of overlooking it and just consider the source.

noni1974

Hey JG what kind of things make you happy??

If you had the time right now to do something just for fun what would it be??

I joined a bowling team last year just for fun and to get out of the house.I'm not very good at it but I have fun and doing it makes me happy.Reading also makes me happy.I enjoy romance novels just because I can.I also when bored have been known to go get myself lunch and drive to the lake and eat it while watching the water.It makes me happy just being near water.Animals also make my life happy.Have you thought of getting a pet??Even something small like a fish??

You might be more of a people person.You might need to be around people to be happy.How about joining a club?If you feel the need for friends why not try looking up things that interest you in your area?

Junction-Guy

Noni, I enjoy going to my church back in Kentucky, its one of the few things I look forward to.

Also I did try looking up things in my area, but they never even responded back to simple questions like time and location.

The best revenge

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