by Junction-Guy 47 Replies latest jw friends
Once you know exactly what you want or feel you need to make you happy, why not write it down?
It has been so long ago that I have really felt this way, that I don't even know anymore. I am a very poor example of "the best revenge right now." Plus, those times are so long ago, the times and people involved cant be duplicated. Since that applies to everyone, doesn't that mean that what makes you happy has to change over time? I am a looooong way off.....oompa
You can be more content and even have happy times here and there, Dave. I am confident of this.
I want to add that I wasn't raised in the JW's, although I was hoodwinked by them as a teenager, not a mature adult. I have an identity that predates the org, so I know who I am and I don't have my identity tied up in being a JW. You were raised inside the org and that can make a big difference in your perception of who you really are and how happiness is defined for you.
One thing Andy has wisely pointed out to me is that I became so deeply ill and depressed while in the org. because I was trying to be something I was not and still am not. I was forcing myself to live contrary to my nature. It's possible that since you were raised inside the org that you have confusion over what you are, who you are and how your life should be. In other words, you still may have yourself boxed in without realizing it, because your foundation for life, your childhood is based inside the org. If I have confused you, please accept my profound apologies. I'll be very happy to explain more what I mean. You're such a sweetheart and you deserve to have more happiness in your life.
I'm sorry you are unhappy, JG.
I think you and I share similar old-fashioned backgrounds. I picked up on that from your posts.
As FHN said, I too came into the JW's as a teenager, but I came from a strong Baptist community. I still cringe when I think of how I flaunted my new-found "knowledge" in their faces. I tried to raise my oldest daughter as a JW, but she fought me on every turn. My heart gets constricted when I think of the spankings I used to give her for just being a restless child at the KH.
My youngest daughter is still in the JW's and she semi-shuns me and her big sister. You're right. The JW religion really screws people because it messes up their most basic instincts. If I could only undo the past...but that's impossible, so I have apologized to my oldest daughter; I have made a determined effort to find those I once tried to convert and tell them of my errors. That in itself is a kind of revenge for me and gives me a great deal of satisfaction.
May you find peace and love on your journey.
Sylvia
Snowbird, I feel like some churches and denominations can cause a similar box in to Jehovah's Witnesses. I was raised in the Episcopal Church. They respect your intelligence and level of love to make your decisions in life. When you make good moral decisions because of sensability and out of love, rather than fear, you're going to be happier with your decisions, usually.
Alot of people here love you, Dave.
I'm one of them.
I'll say this... and I know I'm no happier or more well-adjusted than the chipmunk on my porch plotting to take over the world... a sense of humor helps alot.
Peace!
Snowbird, I feel like some churches and denominations can cause a similar box in to Jehovah's Witnesses
So do I. That's why I don't attend any church services anymore.
I try to follow the law of love in all my dealings. I'm pretty happy.
Sylvia
You are happy, Dave. You're a sweetie, you do have friends and people who care. You don't realize how happy you are. I've been in your place, taking my good life for granted. Then, something happens to put things in chaos, and I realize how lucky I've been in many ways (making my own luck much of the time).
For example, two years ago, my granddaughter, only 15 at the time, was hiding out with her boyfriend (a bad guy, to say the least). I had to hire a private detective to find her. Then I took out a huge loan to send her to a residential treatment facility. Now she's back home, much happier, and a senior in high school. I still have this huge debt, but am grateful that she is okay, so happy that she can function normally and have a mostly normal senior year and college in front of her.
Happiness stems from gratitude. All of us on this board have our lives back to do with as we wish. Oh, Dave, you are so happy!
Hugs,
Sandra
All of us on this board have our lives back to do with as we wish. Oh, Dave, you are so happy!
But Dave was raised inside the org. So really, he doesn't have his life back. He didn't have a chance for a normal childhood and teen years. Now he is dealing with the fall out from spending his youth inside the org. I get the idea that maybe he is waiting for his life to begin, for the first time. Or perhaps not waiting but anticipating... and may not be aware of it.
I cannot imagine how sad I'd be if I didn't have lots of happy memories to look back on in my childhood. My childhood was by far not perfect, but I was allowed to be a child and do all the things JW children cannot do. And I was also allowed to go to other churches and explore eastern philosophies and beliefs. My parents made their mistakes, but they did some things right and I am grateful for the freedom they gave me to be a child and to explore my unique talents and interests. They picked on me about some things that weren't fair, but they let me be me in most ways.
I was mostly a very happy and optimistic child and teenager. I never suffered from deep, dark depression until I was two or three years into my JW career, after baptism to be specific. Being a JW wrecked my emotional and physical health. I shudder to think what I'd feel like if I didn't have some kind of normal reference point to base my self esteem, identity and perceptions of God and life in general. I hope this makes sense, Dave.
Happiness can be hard but there are a few ways that help.
First, pray and ask God to help you get over any anger and bitterness you have toward the wts and toward any people, whether from the JW's or anyone else.
Work in harmony with that prayer. Whenever some resentment arises, catch yourself, admit that you are not acting in harmony with your prayer, tell God "woops, I'm sorry", and make yourself stop thinking about it. It's a little tricky but it can be done. By pushing the negative thoughts out, it makes room for love to consume you.
Pray for faith in Jesus, more than you already have. Pray for understanding about what it really means to follow Jesus. Read the gospels and all of the New Testament. Tell people about your faith, but not in an arrogant way, but just to testify to your faith. More importantly, be Jesus. The world doesn't have Jesus, as a person, on earth. So we have to be Jesus for them. In our thoughts, and our actions. If we think about things that upset us, we will be upset. If we think about immoral things, we will be more immoral. If we think about material things, we will lust for pleasures like money, and we will not be content with having our needs provided for us.
What we think about, is what will consume us. So think about how Jesus was and is. And be that.
Thank God for everything in your life. When you overcome something, thank God for it. He deserves our praise. Whenever something good happens in your life, praise Him. When something bad happens, look at how you can handle it according to God's will. When you pray and ask God for help, believe that he is helping you. Even when you can't see it, he is helping. So again, thank Him for helping you. Always have faith. Never doubt.
That is how you can be happy. Real happiness.
