Thank you so much for sharing that with me . I understand what it's like to be abused ,the shame ,the guilt ,the pain .
Letting it go by sharing is hard but it starts healing . Thank you purps
Wife abuse
by purplesofa 42 Replies latest jw friends
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purplesofa
Thank you so much for sharing that with me . I understand what it's like to be abused ,the shame ,the guilt ,the pain .
Letting it go by sharing is hard but it starts healing . Thank you purps
yes I still at times feel it all.
I still ask myself............Why, why did you stay SOOOO long?
purps
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TrailBlazer04
I wasn't a witness, but I also was an abused wife. He made me believe I was fat, ugly, worthless and stupid. He finally did me a favor by throwing me and the kids out on the street. We were homeless but we were FREE!!! 10 years later, we're STILL paying for what he did. I have problems with my older children, they learned at their father's knee that I was not worthy of respect. One is locked up because she never learned to respect herself or expect a man to respect her. My older son treats me like dirt, laughing at me when I tried to lay down the rules. My younger son spent years trying to come to terms with his father saying he loved him but hated me, knowing that he was as much a part of me as he was of him.
I've lived that nightmare and I swore when I got free that it would NEVER happen again...it didn't! But to this day, if I have to deal with the X, I get physically ill.
To all (abused wives and children) who might be reading and lurking...PLEASE...get out of the situation...there IS a way out. It isn't easy, it isn't fun...but you are NOT what he says you are. You are beautiful, smart, wonderful and worthy of respect and love!
Know this...life CAN be wonderful...
Purps, thank you for writing what you did...I sit next to you and cry, for us, for all the wives and for all the children, for what was taken from us, for what we've fought to regain.
TB
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wanderlustguy
I watched my dad beat the wife after my mom. She was maybe 16 or 17 and his girlfriend at the time. Something I wish I could forget.
I can't think of anything worse.
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SnakesInTheTower
Welcome jessica...
Your mom speaks highly of you... hope to get to meet you one of these days...
...hope your pregnancy goes well....
Snakes ()
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hillary_step
Purps,
I know that you enjoy music, so I thought you might enjoy this tale.
Willie Nelson used to beat his women, and beat them badly. One night his wife at the time, who had had enough of being used as a stress-relieving punchbag, waited for him to come home drunk. He passed on out the bed. She took the bedsheet and stiched it around him, then took a baseball bat and beat the crap out of him.
Every man who beats a women deserves this treatment and more, whoever they are!
HS
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purplesofa
HS
funny storry about old Willie, I saw him about 30 years ago in Little Rock, he looked pretty beat up......dang and I like Willie too!!!
purps
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Gregor
There is another dimension to this subject. As an elder I have dealt with more than one sister ( and children) with an abusive, cheating, asshole husband. I recall two of them that ultimately would not leave the situation, even when offered shelter and asistance by the congregation (it does happen). Their words still ring in my ears..breaking down, crying,..."but I still love him!". Go figure.
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J-ex-W
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So sorry this had been your existence.
So glad it's better/ changed for you now!
I also have been abused by my [now ex] husband; I know the heartbreak, terror, and pain. Good for you for gathering strength to leave--and to stay gone. It took me several tries to go and to make it stick.
Also, your mother's 'blaming the victim' stance: How horrible and crazy-making! My father said much the same words to me, just a few years back, when I stood up to him in a verbal disagreement. He said "You were never willing to drop it!" then, with head tipped up, eyebrows icily arched, and a cold, supercilious tone, he followed it up with, "And I suspect you did this to your husband as well."
I was attempting a peaceful/ neutral resolution after he had overreacted and manhandled my young, teenage son over a misunderstanding the day before, so we could reach agreement on how to better handle heated situations with my kids in future. He was trying to shame me for having 'talked back' to him. This was the first time I walked away from such an incident knowing that the real shame was not mine but his, the first time I walked away feeling fully like an adult after having interacted with him. I was 35 years old.
After that, I told my sons that if anything like it happened again (it was during a rare visit to my parents' home), then we would leave and spend the rest of the vacation with some congregation friends instead. Fortunately, that wasn't necessary, but the incident did serve as reminder of why it had taken fully fourteen years of suffering in my abusive marriage to finally request my parents' help in procuring a divorce. They weren't exactly a safe haven to run to...as I'm sure so many marital abuse victims have experienced with their original families.
purplesofa, I wish the best and deepest of healing for you! Thanks for sharing your experience on this. Many people need to hear about these things to know they're not alone in their situations and there is better life out there! Take care, and bless your efforts....
J-ex-W
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JK666
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I am almost ashamed to be a man after a story like yours. But then I think again, and the husbands that do this are far from being men, they are just bullies.
No woman ever deserves to be beaten, either physically or emotionally!
JK