Hello my friends. This is a REAL subject here , so I welcome your responses , advice , and any experiences you can add that might help others and myself . Most of us have family that are JW's , whether we are faded or dfed, or dissassociated . If you are a fader, not actually dfed, does your family still shun you like you are disfellowshipped ? And how are you handling it ? What do you do ?
As many of you know, I have some witness family , my parents who respect my fading status, and others, mainly my 2 daughters who do not . In fact I have called them on the phone twice in the last 2 weeks and don't get a return call. They are 20 and 19. They have told me in the past the last 4 years since I have not attended meetings that , " It would be hard to have a relationship with me unless I attended meetings again. " I have tried to explain to them that I have some issues and doubts on certain points , but that doesn't seem to matter to them or deter them from shunning me. There is also my ex-wife ( divorced 1998) who continues to bad mouth me to my daughters and tell them that I'm a rebel because I disagreed with some elders wrong, incorrect counsel 4 years ago. So, she influences them . My son 22, isn't influenced as he is out of the cult like me ( faded ) and he knows his mom talks BS.
As some of you know, my ex of 9 years tried to get me dfed earlier this year on false unsubstantiated charges I lived with my fiance 1 month before we were married last October ( Mrs. Flipper ). She dragged my youngest daughter and her husband 2 hours north of where they live to see if they could catch me in "the act " . Then called the elders and over the next 10 months I fought like hell against the allegations , and long story short, I appealed the dfing decision, and the appeal committee overturned the dfing, nullifying it on lack of evidence, also getting direct guidance from the society in their decision. I did all this fighting of it to still talk with my mom and dad, 82 and 80. To me it was worth the fight.
My dillemma now is, in spite of being cleared by the society and the elders , my daughters still won't acknowledge the decision the elders made ,or the society and won't talk to me. I feel they are definitely influenced by their fanatic Jdub mom who has been known to make the statement, " Well, the elders might have forgiven him, but we don't know if Jehovah has ! ". Loving, huh? I thought holy spirit directed the elders ? Isn't that what we were taught ? Guess the ex and daughters don't believe that. So, I'm fighting an uphill battle to try to show my daughters I care, I just call leave a loving message, " Hi, I love you guys. Just want to see how you are doing! Call me if you can. " And that's it. No calls, no nothing back. I have discussed this in private with a good friend on the board and have implemented some good things he advised me to do, so we shall see what happens ! So, does anybody have a similar situation ? Do you have any good advice for me ? Whathave you folks done in similar situations ? I'm just brainstorming here, trusting my good friends on the board here . I know you all have been through the mill too! I , as well as others would really like to hear what you have to say, either about your experiences or advice is certainly welcome ! Peace to all of you here, and yes I remind you, this thread is REAL! Peace out to you, Mr. Flipper