Reflection in the Mirror ... (page 2)

jeanniebeanz

For some reason, about 10 years ago, every mirror has conspired to refuse to show a reflection of me. All I ever see is my mom... I hate mirrors...spiteful creatures that they are!

J

compound complex

Hey guy and gal friends,

You're all beautiful to me! Sad, you are not a cow! R., you more than pass! Hortensia, I'm a guy and I look like Mom! Well - like Dad, too ...

And you fellows ... I relate to what you've said, in the physical and metaphoric senses.

Just bought some hair "glue" to keep my hair down. Like Tom Hanks once said of his bushy, unruly hair: 'It's like a squirrel on my head!'

Any one remember "The Picture of Dorian Gray" and his eternal youth? He paid a hefty price ...

Thanks, my beautiful friends!

CoCo

troubled mind

I have found it is best NOT to wear my glasses when I take the first look of the day in the mirror.( It's like having a natural built in soft filter .)

No matter how good my imagination is I have pesky people around me noticing the obvious ....For example I was sitting at the lunch table at work and the guy next to me starts looking at me closer squinting ....so I ask 'WHAT ?! " . And he says " Is that hi-lights or are you really getting grey !"

Did I mention I hate HIM . I might be getting grey ,but at least I don't have a fork stuck in my eye !

compound complex

Thank you, other friends, who posted while I was typin' away ...

I once thought I was invisible but my friends here reassured me that they could "see" me!

Guess it's better to see Mom or Dad in the mirror than see no reflection at all, Count Alucard....

And what's this about a fork in the eye!??! That really troubles my mind!

Contact lenses? I'll just feel for the dirt for now, but thanks for the suggestion!

CoCo

Fleur

Hey Coco, is that avatar Errol Flynn??? He's a favorite of mine.

For years, I saw a distortion in the mirror. I didn't see me, I only saw what others told me I was. And it was never good enough. I thought, quite literally I was the ugliest girl who had ever lived.

Now, all these years later, in my mid-30's. . .I'm finally beginning to see a little bit, just in glimpses, mostly, of what my husband says he sees in me. Though it's still a long leap from the way I see me to the way he looks at me- but at long as he looks at me that way, as he has through ten years of medical problems which have distorted my appearance, literally, and included huge weight gain/loss/gain due to medications and now finally being back to close to my 'regular' weight again. . .then I can live with that. He really loves me for me, not for how I might look on a given day.

The looks don't matter so much to me now- maybe because my vision has become so bad LOL. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I can hold my head high because I see a women who did not back down, and who has been true to her heart, and to the people she really loves. I know who I am, and I think she's got a lot left to learn, but she's not all bad either.

The rest is just appearance, and age is the great equalizer. No matter how beautiful you are when you're young, everybody ages LOL.

essie

compound complex

Dear Fleur,

What a beautiful testimony to the "secret person of the heart"! A woman 'who hasn't backed down and has been true to her heart and those she really loves ...' Claude Rains said to Bette Davis in "Mr. Skeffington," 'A woman is not truly beautiful until she is loved by a man.' Not the exact words but for whatever it's worth ...

When I went to my 40-year HS reunion last year I saw some who had changed a great deal physically and those who still looked quite the same as I remembered them. Genes, wear-and-tear, whatever. But the good-hearted, kind ones remained the same dear people they were and the creeps, well, ...

Thank you so much for your post!

CoCo Le Suave Flynn

misanthropic

I can't believe how harsh some of you are on yourselves- makes me so sad.

Strange you started this thread CoCo, only this afternoon I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself I'm an ugly fat cow.

Emo, I cannot believe you feel this way. I don't know you but from your posts and I have to say (from what I've read in the posts you've made) you're one of the most kind, wonderful, genuine people I have ever encountered. When I come across your posts I feel warm hearted for you and I think if I knew someone like you in real life I would be a very lucky person to have such a friend. Beauty's only skin deep, but your beauty comes also from within and makes you one of the most beautiful people I can think of.
Ok sorry for the sappy moment there but I just had to get that out- it's been bothering me since I read your post.

When I look in the mirror I mostly look at myself and wonder what other peple see when they look at me. Do they see me as a strong, independent, secure woman? Or are they able to see who I really am on the inside and think "imposter!".
I see my mother when I see my face and that scares me. Not because I look like her because even though I do resemble her very much when she was younger, I don't want to be like her ~ the way she is now. I'm afraid to end up the way she has as she's gotten older; worn out, unhappily married, bitter, stubborn and yet unable to admit it or change the things that make her this way.
I see my mother in the mirror and remind myself often that I'm not my mother.

Gregor

Get contact lenses dear CoCo.

I put mine in first thing in the AM.

I then jump in the shower and am able to see all the dirt on me and the shower walls that I otherwise would miss.

changeling

I am curious. What do you do during the night that leaves visible dirt on you by morning? Do you sleep in the garden?

Happy Harvester

I hate mirrors...spiteful creatures that they are!
J

Hilarious! But I feel the same way. I also hate looking at photos of myself. I'd like to say I am very unphotogenic, like I used to say, but it's just a polite euphemism for "ugly," and well, if I can't say something nice about myself, I best say nothing at all.

Anyway, I bathe and change my clothes once in a while. And I do a decent housekeeping, when I'm paid to, that is.

I wrote on the chalkboard in front of me, "You are good enough," which I might come to believe one day.

Fleur

thanks Coco for the wonderful response :) It's not that I believe now that you have got to be loved by a man to be a good woman- I know you didn't mean that either so I'm just over-stating the obvious because on line people can't hear your voice or know what you mean and I'd hate any woman who may be without a man in her life to read my post and think that I would think less of myself were it not for a man's opinion. While what my husband thinks of me means the world to me because I value him so (and trust his judgment more than my own a lot of the time!) it is not the sole measure of who I believe myself to be.

That was true of me years ago, before I had a real sense of self. It is also true that my (second) husband helped me to see myself, the first time, for real because my JW upbringing and my first husband- had distorted me so badly in my own mind.

But now I know that on my own, as a human being, I'm okay and that's good enough for me. I'm not the most beautiful woman in any room, but I have my charms ;) all women do. I know people generally remember me after they meet me, and seem happy to see me on future occasions so I guess that's a good sign LOL.

Anyway, I would recommend please that any of the people here who are so hard on themselves please listen to the song "Become" by the Goo Goo Dolls, for me. On a loop, if you have to. It'll cost you 99 cents on iTunes, and it's very much worth it.

Imagine a dear friend or someone who really cares about you saying the words of that song to you. Believe them- because they're true.

No one is a fat cow except a fat cow. And they don't care that they're fat because they're cows, if their healthy they're supposed to be fat. Every person is truly beautiful- if you look for it. Those who are blind and can't see it- aren't worth your time. Trust me on this.

love to all the insecure people- many days I am one of them still. But the days I feel okay are gaining on those that I don't in number and overtaking them as time goes on. I'm trying to pass good self esteem on to my daughter, I don't ever want her to think the things about herself that I used to think about myself when I looked in the mirror.

It's the medias doing to a large extent. . .women especially but nowadays men too, feeling so bad about their appearance. But that, as they say, is another thread. . .

I was thinking about this thread yesterday afternoon and I was humming to myself the song "Reflection" from Disney's movie Mulan. The lyrics resonated with me when I first saw it- years back when I was making my JW exit and everything was so new and scary. the words are:

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter
can it be I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me, why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide who I am though I've tried, when will my reflection show who I am inside?"

I used to ask myself that question daily when I looked in the mirror. Almost a decade later, I have my answer. The answer is, "Today." Finally I feel like my reflection outside, matches the soul inside the body who carries it. Is it because I suddenly look like (fill in the blank of who you think the most beautiful woman ever is)? Nope. Not by a longshot. But I'm me, and that's the only thing I can be. And I'm cool with that.

You are all just fine being you, too, the you that you really are.

An aside to Happy Harvester- please do me a favor and erase "I'm good enough" from the board and replace it with, "I am a more than good enough, I am extraordinary, just being who I am." Because you are. (((((((((HH)))))))))))

hugs to all

essie

Reflection in the Mirror ...

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