Update on my life =(

roflcopter

I have been married to my wife for 3 years. And the past 4 months we have been having problems. I posted on the board in the past about the first incident.. But we decided to work on it since she seemed genuinely remorseful... It is hard to beleive now that she abandoned all her morals, her religion, family and friends to persue this pipe dream..... It all started out like this.

We seemed very happy, we had very few problems. But I had to go on an extended business trip and could not take my wife with me. So I had my wife go to her parents house because we were planning on relocating and I had to find a place first.

When I was gone my wife started saying things like "you just shipped me out here because you want to divorce me." etc etc.... my wife for some reason got the idea in her head that I was abandoning her, which was FARTHEST from the truth. Realizing there was problems, I quit my new job opportunity and packed my bags and drove all the way across country to try and fix our marriage.

After moving in with my wife I found out that while i was away she was sending sexually explicit text messages to a workmate as well as nude photos back and forth. When I found out I approached her about it and she was hysterical. She was crying begging and pleading for me not to leave her because she loves me so much and she was so sorry. Apparently nothing happened other than nude photos and the sex text messages....

Regardless I stuck it out. But because I am young and this is my first marriage i never even thought of marriage counseling. Things seemed to be going good. My wife was still acting the way she did when she was first married.

But then a few weeks later I caught her sending more sexually explicit text messages. This time to a guy that she had been playing video games with for a while. She used to slip outside and call him for hours on the phone. Once again. I put an end to it, she said she was very sorry and felt very bad about what she did.

The next week I had to fly to Arizona for a business trip. I bought my wife a plane ticket to come out 2 weeks later. The first few days I was out there she would always call me telling me that she loves me and misses me and can't wait to see me. But 4 day's later she started calling some new 20 year old alcoholic kid she met over a video game. The next day she told me she didnt love me anymore, and that she is falling in love with a new guy. I asked her to end it immediately because it would not be good for our marriage. She said "its too late, im in too deep Jason. I don't want to break his heart." So now she is worried about the heart of someone she has been talking to for a few days and not the man she's been married to for 3 years?HuhHuh?? A few days after that she said she never loved me and she is deeply in love with this new kid she just started talking to.

A week later she rerouted the ticket i bought for her to fly to texas to meet this kid. She ended up having sex with him and called me telling me that she had been praying to god to help end our marriage and to send her a man to make her happy. And thats when "god showed me danny." She told me that she realizes that our marriage has very few problems and could easily work out, but she doesnt want it to work becausse she is in love with "danny" now. She was going to move in with this kid and his dad. But his dad found out she wass married and that his son is a homewrecker so he banned her from his home.

She was Disfellowshipped and told them if "being one of jehovahs witnesses meant i had to stay married to my husband I would rather be DF'd."

So now my wife moved in to one of his friends house. She works a crap job at starbucks, and says she is divorcing me as soon as she saves up the money because "me and danny are going to be together forever, we are so deeply in love, and he makes me happier than you ever made me."

I was so distraught I wrote all my goodbye letters to friends and family and her. I went out to the bar to get drunk. I was going to blow my chest out with my shotgun when I got back. But when I did get back police where waiting for me. My friends repeately called her and told her to call police. She said "it's his life to waste. he can kill himself if he wants to." But she caved in and called. All of her friends told her what a cold hearted bitch she was, but she didnt care. She only called because they kept insisting even though she wanted me to kill myself. I went to the hospital. I'm on medication to help me through this nervous breakdown. This all hit me like a freight train one day. So cold hearted and calloused like I never meant anything. I just couldn't cope with all of it at the moment, stupid action yes, but I was very distraught.

I just dont undertstand it. I havent heard from my wife in almost a month now. All I know is she is living a new life with someone she met over the internet and moved to be with inside a month.

I am shocked and deeply hurt that she says I never meant anything, and she has no regrets. She cut off all her family, she cut off all her friends, and she cut me off too.... After 3 years she just decided to end it all... How can people have no remorse? Will she ever realize her mistake? I tried doing everything, and STILL want to reconcile with my wife... But she says I'm a horrible person that deserves to die. bla bla bla.......

What hurts the most, is she was ALWAYS very affectionate, warm and loving. Even the week before I left we did so much together like going to the park, the beach, the movies. She always held my hand, and acted all giddy in my presence. Always hugging cuddling and telling me how much she loves me.... So I am utterly dumbfounded and don't know what to do. I want her back so bad..... And I can't see this new relationship working out.... Her mom has talked to her 2 times in the past week. She said that my wife sounds sad and depressed... But she is too damn stubborn to stop what she started.

What is funny too is she said she left me because I was not "spiritual" enough for her and Danny... a baptist kid... is so extremely spiritual and has such high morals... (appareently they both failed to get the memo that being an alcoholic and an adulterer is not spiritual or moral)

Also note too that my wife suffers from depression, and very low self esteem. Even if I was gone for just 1 day she would have guy friends over to keep her from being lonely. I tried my hardest to make her feel beautiful and would always try doing little things like making breakfast in bed and writing i love you in syrup, and stuff like that. But I guess the little things like that meant nothing. She said she can never forgive me for anything I ever did wrong in the relationship... which is sad because I always forgave and forgot. And yet she used to also say that she is a horrible wife, and that I could do better than her. I would reassure her I only want to love her. But guess those feelings just continued tell she found someone that will make her "happy".

She told her mother that she doesn't regret her mistakes but she has learned from them... But I doubt that is true because if it was you woulddnt "be in love" with someone after a week... And move half way across country to be with them a few weeks later.

Will this relationship last forever like she thinks? I don't think so... neither side of the family supports it. He's just a kid, an alcoholic. They both make Min Wage, and act very immature together.... I don't see how it could work. I guess I'm hoping that if this doesnt work, and the fact she can't file for divorce for 6 months anyways, and the fact she makes so little and probably couldnt afford to file gives me some hope... But prove me wrong. What do I do? I'm so lost and hurt =( It's been a month, and I've been cut off cold turkey after being together almost everyday for 3 years. Can someone like this really live this lie forever, or do they come crawling back?

Who are you?

She said she can never forgive me for anything I ever did wrong in the relationship... which is sad because I always forgave and forgot. And yet she used to also say that she is a horrible wife, and that I could do better than her.

When a women tells you that, then believe her. Thank her for her honesty and move on.

HalfWayThere

rolfcopter,

From reading your post, I can see how much your wife means to you and just how much you love her.

However, theres a saying that "we teach people how to treat us", or something like that. In other words, there is such a thing as being too nice and too forgiving.

You wife has hurt you and effectively cheated on you even just by sending those texts and nude pictures, and you forgave her again and again. If you forgive her for sleeping with "Danny", she is only going to do it again with someone else.

As much as it hurts now, you need to cut the strings and let her go, otherwise she is only going to keep walking all over you.

You're still young. Get out while you can.

Burger Time

No offense dude but you need to kick that tramp to the curb. Sounds like she has MAJOR issues that you can't help. She has proven over and over she doesn't care about your feelings. Cry and move on.

summer

Sit down...read your "update on my life" carefully...and I mean VERY carefully. And I believe you will know what to do...

jgnat

This is a girl in love with love. Not the mature love that richens and grows through a lifetime together, but the romantic "high" that lasts six months or so. Hurry up and get a divorce before you become the "rebound man". She's always been able to count on you. Sure, you can wait around for ten years or so for her to grow up, but why should you?

ESTEE

By re-reading your story --- see if you can spot a pattern here.

Do you think your wife may be a sex addict?

Do you think therapy might be a healthy choice for both of you --- separately?

ESTEE

Junction-Guy

Divorce her and move on, she sounds like a mean spirited person. You can only hope that Danny will cheat on her, and then give her a dose of her own medicine, until then she will never learn.

Run like the wind, far away from her. There is no woman, I repeat no woman on this earth that is worth killing yourself over, especially a lying tramp.

flipper

R, so sorry for what you are going through. She has major issues to behave this way, probably has a really sad history. I've seen this happen with several people I know, and that kind of behavior is very hard to change. I hope you can let go of her and have a happy life with someone who is capable of really loving you. mrs flipper

deaconbluez

Man, I totally understand your situation. I have been having some really rough times lately and I'll admit that the idea of ending my life has come up a LOT lately. Hope things get better for you. I truly do. My advice would be: marriage/relationships are poisonous. They are completely evil.

Update on my life =(

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