I HAVE MADE A DECISION TO LEAVE (page 2)

mentalclearness

I am feeling exactly as you do right at this moment. I also long to be true to myself and I see that the inevitable will happen soon. I will probably end up sending my letter. The thing is that I have small children and I would like them to see me as a person who is constant with her convictions and not ashamed or in hiding. I was thinking of just moving, but then I thought that maybe they would interpret that as though we had done something wrong. I know from what you have written your son is a staunch witness, but perhaps there will come a time when he will repsect the fact that you acted according to your convictions and beliefs. Whatever you decide, good luck.

The-Borg

Hi Maddie,

I admire your integrity, being true to yourself can be difficult, as raymond franz said some people go through their whole lives without ever facing a true crisis of conscience. You never know, your brave act might make your son think.

I made that descsion myself some time ago and it's the best thing I've done for a very very long time. As someone said on this board I'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question.

Hope that helps.

God Bless

David.

Gregor

Being in the gray world of a fader is not a happy place to be. You described it very well and it reminds me of the scripture where Jesus talked about those that were neither hot nor cold, just lukewarm.

I know witnesses in good standing technically but are considered spriritualy weak because of their meeting attendance, irregular field service or whatever. They are very unhappy and many of these live their life this way for years. They would be better off if they became a "hot" zealous JW or simply declared that they no longer believed it at all, a nice refreshing, icy "cold".

OnTheWayOut

Everyone has to do what is best for them.

Fading has it's own prison bars. It is not easily done. If you need your freedom to
do anything, you should take it. While I maintain the fade for now, I cannot highly
recommend it to others.

SnakesInTheTower

Maddie....

I wish I had the spine to do what you are doing...apparently DA.... I am a fader, but my fading has progressed faster than expected.

I hope you are able to at some point have a reasonably normal relationship with your son and family. Just always assure him your heart and door are open to him. Maybe he will talk to you on the phone, away from the prying eyes of the Borg....

Glad you are still with us...I sure thought you were dropping JWD at first..... lol...now we are all a bit paranoid, aren't we?...sheesh

may your journey out be a success...

Snakes ()

sweet pea

(((Maddie)))

You're very brave Maddie, you know the score. You've obviously spent a lot of time agonising over this decision and I'm sorry for the pain you will undoubtedly go through when your son chooses not to have anything to do with you. It will be more painful for you as his mother and the grandmother of his daughter, than for him as your son.

We are here for you as your friends, please don't ever forget that and we understand your pain.

If you do follow through and make it official you will be totally free and only good can come of it and who knows, with more and more leaving every day, one day your son may see the real truth and seek you out.

SP

delilah

Maddie, I think you have to be true to yourself, and do what's best for you. I hope it works out for you, and I hope your son and his family, join you too. THAT, would be awesome.

I have too, been df'd before, and then reinstated. Not a nice feeling.

Fading has worked well for me, and I have no desire to change things any time soon. I don't look over my shoulder....I carry on. I still live in the same city as the congregation I left. Same address....witnesses living close by....

We all have to do what is best, and what feels right, for us. Best of wishes to you.

Delilah

Happy Harvester

I am so sorry about the loss of your friend's mother. Were you very close to her mom?

Good luck with the da. It is very challenging to make these sort of major life changes in the midst of loss.

I hope you, your child and your family are well!

Finally-Free

It's going to hurt no matter which route you take. I tried to fade at first and found I didn't have the patience for it. I wrote a letter and it got me what I wanted - the JWs out of my life asap. No more looking over my shoulder, no more calls or visits from elders. No more people pretending to be my friends but stabbing me in the back at every opportunity. No more being ostracized in my own home. I'm Finally Free.

Hope it works out for you.

W

Country Girl

Imagine your life in an overhead projector. Remember those things?

You, yourself, your soul, is the first projected item on the screen. It's a basic human being, outline correct: perfect. The next plastic laydown on the projecter is your family's perception of you. It's not quite matching with the first: some lines are all wibbly wobbly, some lines are okay and match with the original, and some lines are way out of proportion.

On top of that we lay the religion's requirements, and they are also out of proportion to the original transparent that we oringally laid down. We then lay the transparency of your perception of yourself at 3, 5, 9, 11, 15, 22 and we see that the original lines are OBLITERATED and in no way resemble what is the REAL, TRUTHFUL, ORIGINAL you.

For us to be IN SYNC with our original transparency, it means that we have to shed all of the layers laid upon us by the Society, society, and our families. We have to come into resonance with our original form. To do this, we have to shed things that feel false to us, don't work with our personalities, or our reality. To do this requires courage, strength, and endurance. I applaud you for being willing to travel on this road. It's hard, but it gets easier with time! It's time that we realize that living a lie won't work and it's time to get on with our EXISTENCE as happy, well-adjusted human beings, whatever that entails.

I imagine that you will have some ups and downs in the next several months, but it seems like you have the strength and werewithall to deal with them. You also have the support.

My best wishes to you!

CG

I HAVE MADE A DECISION TO LEAVE

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