by confused and lost 31 Replies latest jw experiences
.I have prayed to God to show me in some way what the truth really is.
Hi and welcome. Keep your mind open and trust your instincts. Our Father will reveal Himself to you; have faith in Him and no manmade organization that claims to speak for Him.
Grace and peace to you.
Sylvia
I was in a similar position when I came to this board. My first few posts were from the position of a Jehovah's Witness. I was doubting, but still thought it was the Truth. After more research, I no longer feel this way.
If it really is 'The Truth' then it should stand up to honest investigation. You cannot argue with absolute truth, so if the Watchtower Society teaches the truth, any opposing material has to be a lie or in error. You will be able to find a reply to all or most of what the 'opposers' say, at least on any major or important doctrine in the WTS, either though the Watchtower Library CD-Rom, through the elders, or if necessary, writing a letter to the Society.
Keep researching, and keep learning. Your life is at stake here, and I'm not talking about your future life in 'Paradise Earth' I mean your current life. Do you want to dedicate it to the Watchtower Society if it isn't true, if there is no future 'Paradise Earth'? If not, you need to make sure it's truth before you do.
I wish you well in your search.
Regards,
Zico
~HUGS~
Research gets some people's 'heads/minds/thinking' out of JWism. And Prayer gets other's hearts/emotions/feelings out of JWism. Different people make decisions from different drivers. Some are heart/emotionally driven more the head/thinking driven and others are just the opposite. And then some are more equally both. Even though religion usually appeals to the emotion, JWism traps thinkers as well with it's prophecies and academic way of teaching.
Soooo ... my 2 cents is ... recognize what drives you and try not to judge that part of you. No judgemnt equals no guilt. And if prayer means allot to you (because it seems you may be more of a heart person then a head one) use that avenue. And don't judge your answers by other's thoughts on what is right/wrong, good/bad, spiritual/non-spiritual. Love who you are and how you personally view and feel about an issue. Validate how YOU feel and see when others are influencing your feelings in a negative/unhealthy way.
You may have to live with guilt for a while until you give up your 'JW trained conscience/thoughts/emotions'. They will condemn you for even the most innocent and healthiest of things like relaxing on Saturday morning (instead of going out in service). Face that guilt every step of the way and look it in the face and see if it is reaonable or if it is just religion dictating to you what you are to do when you are intrinsicly a FREE person.
OK that's my 2 cents. Remember you can't buy bubble gum with 2 cents anymore. But I do so hope it helped. Many of us have traveled the road you are on ...
Much Luv and & Smiles
~IT WILL GET BETTER~
Steve, Take things a little at a time. "guilt" is when you go against something you've been indoctrinated in. They say that when a relationship is broken it takes half the time you were together to really have it out of your system. I think that applies here as well. Roots run deep. Do your research. I went to different churches but I found they were all the same. Just different dressing. I think it is good to go neutral at first as you could get sucked into another control situation that would be easy to accept because it "feels" good. I am ordering "Crisis of Conscience" today on Amazon (can't find it at any new or used book stores). Think back to when you first came in...was your life situation a mess, were you depressed over something? It sure seems that jws find people in crises who are looking for a way out and the "community" first shown to them is quite supportive and attractive.
Steve,
There has been so much good advice given here, that there is not much to add.
We found the truth by asking Holy Spirit to guide us. You will be amazed how different the truth is when it is rightly interpreted. There is no organization out there, religious or otherwise that is the "Truth". The Bible says the truth is Jesus (John 14:6) I know so many exJWs who wasted years of their lives looking for "The Truth" in different religions. Churches are merely fellowships. Prayer and reading the Bible are the way to Truth. Do not be afraid of churches, they are not the abode of demons that they are portrayed by the WT. You will find good people who are searching for God the same as you.
When we were JWs I used to wonder why they would not permit us to read "outside" or critical things about the WT. I felt that if we had the truth, that we would benefit from hearing what others thought, that knowing what others thought would make our faith stronger. I guess they knew that they had weak arguments for what they teach. Each one of us can benefit by hearing what others believe and then letting Holy Spirit show us what is true. God gave us thinking minds. We need to use them.
I will be praying for God's direction in your life.
Love and hugs,
Velta
HELLO, and welcome to the board!
YOUR POST IS VERY HONEST HEARTED! AND RIGHT ON TO MY FEELINGS! Here an example; Is it God organization, am I being manipulated by people who are aganist the WTBTS, perhaps it is satan! Should I be on this site? I was warned to stay awary from here. Perhaps my reasearch is wrong maybe they are right! We were so trained to think this way! It gets easier if you do research which solves all these kinds of doubts! Make sure of all things!
I was raised a JW and even though I was disfellowshipped I still thought it was Jehovah's organization. I even thought it was when I was reinstated! I still go through the denial stage and shock! Also, if you have family and friends that are in this organization it makes it worse, the threat of lost of love ones. It is like they all died!
Your are right where you should be, and what you are feeling is right on. But hang in there! The cure is finding what you think is truth and do your research. I did a lot of research with the WTBTS own books. Here you can gleam other people's research, but you will probably still need to verify that people are posting the truth! Because you can always fall back into denial which you will! LOL
You will feel better when it comes from the bible and you know the WTBTS is wrong according to God's word.
But what are you going to do after you find out the truth about the truth? It will forever change your life, or the fantasy, so seek counseling and get involved in activities so you can meet new friends. With time you can put it behind you!
I think differently than most... I beleive that God gave man logic as a tool to guide his path to the right course of action. You and I have been told something that all evidence shows is wrong... it hurts doesn't it becasue we've both been duped? Use the gift God gave you; look at the overwhelming evidence that these men aren't guided by God. Look at their own words where they call themselves "God's mouothpiece" and the like. Does the evidence show any of this to be true? If not in your mind, then use the gift.... Surly God wouldn't want you to go against what all evidence shows to be correct just to follow a man made orgainzation? Good luck my brother-I wish you lived next door becasue I've been there.
Yes, the guilt can hold you back if you let it. When I first started researching the Witnesses, I wanted to see facts only. After a couple decades of having doubts and being sick of it all, one night, I did the unthinkable. I was nervous when I sat down at my computer. I went into Google and typed in Jehovah's Witnesses. I chose only the sites that had facts and documents. Oh yeah, I found the facts. Then I started looking into the history of the organization. I had been a Witness since 1967, when they didn't cover up the history of Russell and Rutherford. At that time, the old publications were still in the Kingdom Hall library. I remember glancing at the pictures and looking at the covers as a kid. I remember a picture of Russell was hanging on the library wall at the KH. At the suggestion of all the websites, I read Crisis of Conscience. Again, because I had exposure to old publications and the "Nathan Knorr" days, I knew what I was reading in CoC was true. I also knew that the history with Barber in Rochester NY was true. I learned enough to quit without feeling guilty at all.
My suggestions would be the same as others have already said. Start researching and read "Crisis of Conscience". If you don't want to go to a bookstore, you can buy CoC through Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Take care and welcome to the board.
It's hard to leave something that you invest so much of your life on. I tell you...when i left...even stupid noises like loud planes flying over, scared me because i thought it was armageddon. But fear has been installed into you...teaching you that the 'end of the days will come like the theif in the night' i could be typing now and 2 secs later it's here...1...2...i'm still here. It's not easy just to forget about it, but praying can help...pray how you feel the best comfortable. If you feel it's right...then that's your choice, if you feel it's wrong that's you choice, do what's in your heart. I fell away by thinking about my doubts and exploring them
I was like you, very torn and uncertain. I went to the elders myself and confessed a sin and they disfellowshipped me.
I was in shock at the repercussions of the shunning and how it affected my family life.
It was too much discipline for me, and instead of shaming me, I felt they should be ashamed of the unchristian unloving tactics they used to publicly embarrass me and control me.
I saw a different side of the Society and Jehovah after that. They are nice to you if you are obedient and controllable and sinless, but if not, they are mean and nasty and unforgiving.
I had spent 35 years in that org developing a relationship with God and they told me I had severed my relationship with God and that he no longer heard my prayers!
I spent the next three years languishing in sorrow and misery, believing the Watchtower lies about an unforgiving God who is coming to destroy the world and me and everyone not a 100 hour a month JW.
It was not until I found this website that I began to heal slowly from the sad cult experience and receive excellent therapeutic help and advice.
You have been under a spell, the spell the Watchtower weaves over the minds of sweet, humble people.
With thousands of little words, inuendos, hints, and promises they have saturated your thoughts and taken over your mind. And without help you will be weak to fight and regain back your mind and life.
Read the books suggested. Keep reading here and posting. Think daily about the reality around you and what you see in nature and use and trust your own God given beautiful human heart to come to the proper conclusions about what is true.
And welcome to the JWD forum,
Anewme
