I'm new...and heartbroken (page 2)

JK666

chaz,

Welcome to JWD!

I am sorry that your mother got treated so shabbily at work. She sounds like she is an independant thinker, so there is more hope for her getting out than most JW's. Stick around for support, this is a great place.

JK

sass_my_frass

Hi and welcome! Sorry to hear you're blue.

We all love our mum. What you have to do is stay in her life, and be the one on her side. Also important; do non-witness stuff with her, the kind of stuff that will show her that there's life outside the box - take her to places that will make her mind grow. Take up a new hobby with her.

You can't make your mum any more happy than she is when she has you around having fun with her. You're the most important thing in her life. Be there for her if you can.

jgnat

Let me get this straight. Your mom got kicked from her job because she is a witness. Regardless of the "persecution points" she can get from the Kingdom hall, she can definitely protest the sacking. That employer is in big, big trouble.

Your mom is a straight shooter whose personality shines through the Witness veneer. She loves you and supports you regardless of your own stance with the witnesses. She is a treasure, give her a hug from me.

You see how the Witnesses positively do not suit your mom's personality, and you wonder if she will be chained to them forever. It's all up to your mom. Keep being the positive alternative. Maybe one day someone will do something so unjust at the Kingdom Hall that she will call it quits. If your mom does it in the hope she will see her parents one day, perhaps she will get comfort from what I tell my JW hubby often. "Your mama was such a good woman, doing so many good things in her long life, I am sure she is secure in Jehovah's memory. You are too. How could a loving God ever separate such good people?"

KW13

I know the pain you feel hurts, many here share similar stories and even diferrent ones. This site grows on a daily basis, keep coming. Trust me, healing isn't far away.

changeling

You are soooo lucky to have loving and supportive mom!

Stay close and be there to hold her hand when she finally wakes up.

And by the way, if she was fired because of religion, she could sue her employer for discrimination.

changeling

Lady Liberty

Dear Chaz,

WELCOME to the forum, and thank you for sharing your story with us. (((HUGS))) Hang in there!!

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

katiekitten

Jehovahs Witnesses are not treated like scum. And your mum has a case for unfair dismissal based on religious discrimination. I am sure DiamondBlues PM will point you in the right direction.

When I was a Witness I found for 30 years that people generally, though puzzled and sometimes repulsed by my beliefs, never treat me like scum. At worst they just couldnt understand, for instance, the blood issue. And now that I am not a Witness I can see how puzzled they must have been and in general how very restrained they were in their treatment of me.

Good luck to your mum. She may well be better off not working with people who feel free to flout the discrimination laws of our country.

chaz84

Update: Thank you for all your help and support. I was really nervous about posting but now i'm glad i did.

Thankyou 'diamondblue1974' for all the advice i really appreciate it, and i feel you're nudging me in the right direction. And KatieKitten i'm sorry about my statement about the Jehovah's Witnesses scum cos i didn't mean it like that. I just felt angry because of what happened to my mum, and also i've grown up always feeling uncomfortable saying my mum's a jehovah's witness because i've had horrible backlashes, and even got beaten up for it. But i know that's not applicable to everyone but it's happened to me.

I've never been baptised and never will. But being the daughter of a Jehovah's witness has been hell for me, to the point that i had to have couselling because i suffered and still suffer with social anxiety. I was always been treated badly in and out of the witness bubble. In the congregation people always treated my mum as she was a weak corrupted person, or a potential marriage wrecker coz all the sisters were scared their husbands were flirting with her. Mum's got a flirty personality and she is beautiful woman... who can blame them really.

We've always had to move house coz we lived in bad areas, we moved house 19 times and moved to different congregations 6 times, and every single one we went too they've always treated my mum like the bad egg. And all the elders would have a go at me at the slightest thing, like not answering up in the meetings, and praising other kids (who were taking drugs at the time) for doing it and saying they are more spiritual than me. Mum when through the roof and left the KH for a while...but then went back for more.

Mum has left a couple of times, when she is low, no-one visted her or supported her throughout those times, only me. My mum understands the religion but often talks about the contradictions. I will always support her, but i know that if her new congregation treats her bad again, i think she will leave, the way she talks it sounds like she's giving them one more chance (i hope). I thought it was funny about what jgnat said about the 'persecution points', coz i've been talking about it to her today and she said that all the 'JWs treats her differently now cos she has lost her job, and they said all the angels must be watching her now' I don't know how they can look at the bright side or see how this is a good thing. But then that's what they think.

You've been really good people thank you so much. And unlike the people at work, you all supported my mum dispite her beliefs. But my final wish really is for my mum to leave, so she can be herself again. Thank you xx

B_Deserter

I think chaz you still have a bit of the "Martyr complex" that groups like JWs have. I've worked many places here in the U.S. I'm not sure how it is in England, but I'm betting it's similar. But firing someone on the basis of their religion is illegal here. Of course why would you want to work at a place that would fire you for your religion in the first place? I sure as hell wouldn't want to go back. Anyway, JWs are not as despised by the world as they think. Sure there are some angry blog entries about them and once in a while a negative news report, but overall in the industrialized countries they are not seen as "scum" at all. Most people don't even know enough about them to care one way or the other.

chaz84

You're probably right you know...! But i can't help but stick up for her, she's all i have. But i feel that the people on this site have been really good, and give honest opinions, and that's what i need. Also i feel i really need to move on myself, even though i don't go anymore...and don't believe, i still worry sometimes. I think i just need to figure who i really am. I go on a bit so i'm gonna shut up now...

I'm new...and heartbroken

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