History leading up to my "happiness" thread (page 4)

eclipse

I could have many times tried to seek revenge on Amanda for perceived wrongs, but 2 wrongs dont make a right.

Ok, that sentence just made my skin crawl.

Any person who even thinks about seeking revenge on their spouse for perceived wrongs is totally wrong about how a GOOD relationship works.

It's normal to feel hurt and angry, but to want revenge?? That's taking a step TOO far beyond hurt and anger, that's TOXIC.

What you do when you are hurt is to calmly tell the other person that you have been hurt. Then the ball is in their court.

Revenge should never come up in a relationship.

That's how emotionally instable people like danny go balastic.

They never address their pain and anger in a rational manner, instead they seek revenge

NOT good.

OnTheWayOut

I want to get some of the sayings with "good intentions" out of the way.
That way, we can move on from this point.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.
You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
This implies that you should not search for the meaning of happiness, yet everyone does.
Even these sayings are aiding a search for happiness.
Same with a meaning for life.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
This implies that you should be miserable if you work hard to raise your family
but hate your job. It doesn't say that, but if you take it personally, and hate your
job, you might will read it that way.

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Albert SchweitzerIf someone with bad health (or a great memory) were to take that personally,
they would say that happiness is impossible for them. They can still be
happy with what they have, so they need to lighten up when hearing this.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.
Anne Frank
I actually think that one is extremely balanced. But we can have different goals in mind
for what being happy means, therefore we can hate hearing advice from another whose
goals we disagree with.

Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient
Aristotle
This one makes me miserable. If I need the help of others, if I cannot cope on my own,
I should be miserable. If I lighten up, it just means there is a measure of happiness in
being able to accomplish things on your own. It doesn't take away from the happiness that
someone in therapy or a handicapped person might have.

Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.
Budda
That rules out selfishness. Yet, what if I am in need of the work and words of others,
and am currently incapable of benefiting others? Can I just get by on happiness from
benefiting myself? Then I have to put selfishnesh back into the equation.

There are sayings for everything. Don't let them get to you.

Junction-Guy

Eclipse, someone else brought that up about seeking revenge against the wife. I said that I could never do that, why put words in my mouth?

I said "could have" I didnt say I "wanted to"

jeanniebeanz

Maybe 'happiness is the best revenge' is a misnomer? Really, when you look up the word happiness and the word revenge it seems that they do not even belong in the same sentence. How about 'happiness is it's own reward' or 'by surviving a terrible experience and growing from it, my happiness will follow'. Just throwing a few ideas out there.

Personally, I think that there is a time and place for 'advice' and a time and place for 'a hearing ear'. In this instance, I believe the later was the goal whereas the first was the reality, hence several pages of disconnect.

Jean

sweetface2233

Eclipse, someone else brought that up about seeking revenge against the wife. I said that I could never do that, why put words in my mouth?

Was this in reference to MY comments about my marriage, as well as my parents? I NEVER said my father nor myself did anything to our spouses out of revenge. Being miserable turns you into someone you don't recognize. In my case, what could be perceived to you as revenge, was actually a lot of hurt and neglect upon which I was acting. I was doing things to fill a huge void in my marriage. Is it possible that you have no idea why that certain ex-elder did the things that he did?

eclipse

My marriage wasnt the best either, we both had our flaws. I could have manytimes tried to seek revenge on Amanda for perceived wrongs, but 2 wrongs dont make a right.

Eclipse, someone else brought that up about seeking revenge against the wife. I said that I could never do that, why put words in my mouth?

Ok, I had NO IDEA that someone else brought that up. Why not put into quotes? I can't read every single post.

I can only go by your typed words.

You said, ''I could''.

You did not say, ''I could never'' so I am not putting words in your mouth.

I quoted your exact sentence.

If you made a grammatical error, simply say, ''I meant to say I never could''

How am I supposed to determine that

A) those aren't your thoughts you are writing. and

B) that being able to do something means that you would not.

C) that you made an error by leaving out the word ''not''???

Paralipomenon

"happiness is the best form of revenge" is true, but I think you're misinterpreting it as "obtain revenge through happiness"

If you set out to be truly happy, then the revenge will be in the eye of those who wish misery upon you. You will never know because you have left revenge behind you.

If you set out to appear happy as a means to get revenge, then you are an idiot. Sorry, there's no better term.

GetBusyLiving

"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness" - Josh Billings

GBL

SixofNine

Paralipomenom- nice clarification. GBL- nice quote.

mouthy

I have only mentioned 2 instances, there are many more I could think of.

Well Grannies advice to that statement DONT THINK ON THEM ANYMORE!!!! Also sweetie You mention Amanda I bet she could say SHE could have a few things wrong with you!!!! We all have them,
Marriage on BOTH sides has its ups & downs. I met Amanda & You I thought you were both a nice couple I am sorry it ended. But SO many marriages fail== not always ONE sides fault.. Some times it takes to to TANGO>>>
Please dont take offense JG But you know ME I say it as I think.... DIRECT!!!! NOT always Right but being OLD I am allowed
( or simon hasnt kicked me off YET!!!!!!)

History leading up to my "happiness" thread

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