Hello folks. Thought this would be an important subject to discuss, got the idea for this based on reading from some posters the concern they have for the imbalanced views witnesses have of their marriages. I have some experience in this, as I was married 19 years to a witness woman (staunch fanatical witness ) , whom I married at age 19 in 1979 as a witness myself. First of all, most of us raised in this organization married too young and were not mature enough emotionally , financially, or mentally to take on the responsibility of taking care of a marriage mate. And to be blatantly honest, many of us at that age as witnesses , the only way we could have acceptable " legal " sex in the witness organizations eyes , was to marry young. So many of us felt pressured to marry young so we could stay in good standing in the organization.
That being said, we were also told that to have a happy, successful marriage we needed to have Jehovah as a third party in this marriage with us and our partner to make it work. We essentially were taught that if this main factor was in our marriage that all the other problems we'd have would work out, if we just put trust in Jehovah ! Well, I'm here to say from personal experience and from what I've seen in others marriages this is just not true! We were lied to and decieved, made to feel that the only important thing to make a marriage work was serving God.
I empathized yesterday reading some posters who are still married to witnesses , say, " The only thing my wife/ husband and I had in common was the fact we were witnesses. " So therein lies I feel a lot of the problem. Most books on relationships, psychologists, and relationship counselors today feel that to make a good relationship work between men and women, there needs to be mutual respect for one another, and common emotional skills of dealing with other people , similar interests in life, common goals, much sense of humor, ability to make each other laugh, and ability to laugh at oneself too. Good communication skills and supporting one another through hard times and good. Understanding our partners vulnerabilities, but not berating them for it, but empathizing with them to help them understand themselves. It takes awareness of their sexual needs, and the love and unselfishness to please that other person and look out for their needs.
So, I could go on and on, but you get the point. For a marriage to work it takes two people pulling together and being there for each other, committed to the marriage , and not committed more to an organization which tells you your marriage comes second to your relationship with God. If all people have is just a similar religious belief , how will they keep it together if they were not a good match in the first place? Some people just are so different in their likes, dislikes, values, morals, and have nothing in common, that it may be more work , perhaps too much work to ever make it work for them. So what's my point? Make sure if you choose a prospective marriage mate or partner , choose carefully so they don't drive you crazy the rest of your life. Choose someone you feel really comfortable in really being yourself with, and you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. If you choose based on common interests and same values in life , you probably will find your right match. it took me 46 years to find my right match, but when I did, there was no question about it. I've never been happier, and with Mrs. Flipper I truly feel like I'm finally at home , peaceful . So what do you all think? Do you think that it takes a lot more than just common religious beliefs to make a relationship or marriage work? What have you found that works for you ? I look forward to hearing your replies, whether married, single, a couple, looking or not looking, it would be good to get your takes. Hope this finds you all healthy, and trying to get real happiness in your lives, like we all are shooting for. Peace out friends, Mr. Flipper