of that warm and fuzzy feeling after a long day of field service

by inkling 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    eerily true....

    Even though my doubts began to limit my participation in the ministry for the past several years, when I did go out it was the strangest thing...

    I felt good when it was done.

    On some level there was a sense of satisfaction - a sense of accomplishment.

    I can't quite figure out why, because I honestly knew it was a waste of time. Weird.

    Later I began to feel guilty when I did go out - because I was afraid that if I placed a mag with someone there was a chance they may "come in to the truth" and then refuse a blood transfusion and die - leaving their kids to fend for themselves.

    That's why I don't go out anymore. And I encourage my book study group to take care of other responsibilities. I remind them that field service is voluntary. Our book study hour average has gone from 15 hours to 7 since my take over. For that I am damn proud.

    But it is not enough....

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I never returned from field service feeling good. It was always an exhausting sense of being overwhelmed... similar to the feeling one would experience after being chased by a pack of temberwolfs.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I can remember those times. Getting up on a day after the boasting session, since the hounders knew I had that night off and didn't have to work until late afternoon. Then I had to waste many a morning out in field circus. One day they took me on a call where the guy had legs that looked like chicken legs, and was ugly. Another, they found a call that the guy was spitting blood into a mayonnaise jar about every 30 seconds. And they expect me to look forward to that?

    Most of the late 1980s were wasted. I remember April 1989 when they were encouraging people to "pioneer for a day". I got up for morning field circus that day, and it was quite warm and sunny. I stayed out until about 3:00 that afternoon. Of course, I felt that the whole day went totally to waste. I didn't feel warm and fuzzy about helping people do what the stones could have done better. While I could have been assembling music tapes or playing video games, I was wasting my time doing something that was going to harm others in the end.

    Days like that were not that common, but I did waste whole mornings out in field circus since then. Much of the early 1990s, I would go out in morning service the days after the evening boasting sessions. And how I hoped no one would show up so I could go home! I could have cussed the one "sister(??)" that had that damn van and would sit in it until just before time. I presume it was to give me false hope that no one would show up. And always we would get about 3 or 4 more groups out. Invariably, I went in feeling the morning was a total waste. How I wish that van would have refused to start and the others would have had flat tires and car trouble to keep them from showing up.

    At least when no one showed up, I could do things that I enjoyed doing. Constructing music tapes off records and CDs back then allowed me to have something better than the radio (which always cut songs short). And that was back before I could download songs from Napster or Rhapsody and put them in a playlist, or have mini discs that only one mini disc with shuffle play would suffice. And I enjoyed watching some of the quiz shows on TV and playing video games. Much better than spending it on field circus.

  • carla
    carla

    I'm just bookmarking this! Carry on....

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