Judicial Committee "assists" another ...

Billygoat

I just got off the phone with my mom. It seems one of my brothers got into a little trouble with his girlfriend. I don't know the details other than whatever he did, it was sufficient enough to warrant a JW Judicial Committee. They've had several meetings and are having another one soon. I don't know if it's to be a public reproof or a DF.

(Megadude - Why I bothered calling her I don't know...I really think I am one of those abused housewives that continues to run back to her abuser with her tail between her legs. Isn't there a name for that condition?)

This is a little snippet of our conversation:

Andi: How could you sit and watch two of your children go through such an excruciating meeting without trying to speak on behalf of them?

Mom: The elders are led by God's Holy Spirit. Whatever they decide is what God wants.

Andi: Then why was I kicked out when I was really looking for their assistance to get away from a life that was causing my sin?

Mom: Men make mistakes.

Andi: What?! But aren't they directed by God's Holy Spirit?

Mom: Don't go there Andi.

Andi: What? Don't go where?

Mom: You know what I'm talking about.

Andi: No I don't. Seriously. How can men make mistakes if God's Holy Spirit is telling them what to do?

Mom: Andi, I'm going to hang up the phone if you go there.

Andi: MOM! GO WHERE?! (At this point I'm losing my patience.)

Mom: Do not question the decisions the elders make. You are supposed to trust them.

Andi: What? You are supposed to trust GOD, mom. Not men.

Mom: I do trust God! (Voice raised, and a little squealy.)

Andi: But you're supposed to trust men too? Mom, the Bible says trust God and love men. There's a difference.

Mom: I promise Andi I'm going to hang up.

Andi: Over what?

*click*

Please tell me this is just a bad episode from Mama's Family or some other bad sitcom. Do you ever feel like you're talking to the Mad Hatter of Alice in Wonderland? I feel like their logic is literally made of swiss cheese! My heart just aches right now. For my family still enslaved by a bunch of imperfect men making my families decisions for them. God is NOT using them! Why can't my parents see this? I ache for my little brother. I ache for all the heartache a judicial committee is going to bring into his life. I ache for the sense of floundering that he will soon experience. The sense of shame he has for committing a forgivable sin - whatever it was. I just wish this hurt would cease and the tears would stop. Has anybody every HATED their parents? I feel so terrible for even saying it!

muslima

I know I don't say much but...

{{{{{{{{{{{{andi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

hang in there...

RedhorseWoman

Andi, just keep on pointing these things out to your Mom. Hopefully, she will someday think about them.

****HUGS*****

Pathofthorns

"Don't go THERE"

Its almost like they know that "there" lies the weak spot to their whole belief system. "There" is where everything crumbles, where the illusion ends and the logical reality sets in.

It is very frustrating. I know. And its always worse when its family.

Path

larc

Andi,

Yep, a lot of folks take the attitude, "Don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up." About all you can do, I suppose, is call her back and tell her you are sorry for upsetting her, blah, blah, blah.

Of course, being the smart ass that I am, I would probably say, "Mom, I am sorry I upset you by pointing out how imperfect the elders are even with God's spirit. Man, I would hate to see how bad they would be without his spirit." Do not try this method at home. It could end up in another hang up.

Michael3000

oops...

"Any day spent NOT knocking on doors is a good day!"

openminded

Its difficult to come to terms with blatent/self prerpetuating stupity. Your mom would get along quite well with my own beloved yet braindead mom and dad.

Billy, I feel the same way, you are not alone.

The bond that most of my friends have with their parents is 100% non-existant with me.

I know that most would disagree but I am going to hold my parents responsible for the way I was raised. I know they long for a "normal" relationship with me and my beautiful family. But they are gonna get treated the same way they treated me when I was at home. If they want to talk to their grandson I am gonna say no, just for the sake of being different, just like they did to me when I begged to play football in high school. They are gonna feel what its like to be f****ed up the same way they did it to me. My reasons are just as valid as their stupid reasoning. They are already paying the price for being unreasonable.

I am prepared to stand my ground right down to the end just like they would have done if I needed a blood transfusion to save my life. They would have let me die without even thinking twice.

Would your parents sacrafice you?

-OM

anewperson

Your presenting the reasoning personally is causing her to reject them because the reasoning comes from yourself whom she sees as "one of my imperfect kids." For a different approach type out some pointers then mail or email them to her and other people in the congregation (and maybe some to people in other halls) without a return address or name. The idea is to get them to think of the REASONINGS, not the PERSON. Christ noted those who speak God's real truth are not well-received from those who have long known them, and the same applies here.

wannahelp

Uhhh,

I have to admit this, and if later someone reminds me of it, I'll deny it...

At one point with my friend, I was seriously thinking of telling him..

"Look buddy, I love ya and you will always be my friend, and I'll always be here if you really need me, but I follow god, and only god.. You follow men, and my god (via the bible, show him the scriptures) said that I should get away from people not of my sort.. You understand, it's nothing personal, I do love you... But I cannot associate with you.. Maybe occasionally we can eat together, or if you ever get stuck and need a ride home or something, feel free to give me a call, but my relationship with god is more important than our friendship.. I'll see you in heaven"..

Ok, OK.. I felt bad even thinking it then, and I feel bad saying it now, as I know it's not his fault that he believes as he does.. He has been 'brainwashed' into thinking the way he does, and he didn't even have a choice.. He was born into (oops, sorry, they like to say Raised) it... He deserves my unconditional love more than anyone I know!!! But it was good to 'think' of it, if only for a moment or two!!!

pettygrudger

Andi - My mother did go to my JC meetings. She told the details of my entire nightmarish life, the sexual assaults from 3-12 and then those by the MS servents in my teens . She tried to explain to them why I crumbled so easily (lol - I didn't scream or stop seeing him anymore than I stopped "seeing" those I loved as a child) when my fiancee forced me to have "intercourse" with him. She showed them from her research that I was psychologically unable to withstand the pressure, and unable to not see myself at fault, nor unable to stop "loving" the abuser. They then asked me if my mothers "allegations" were true, as my mother was not "witness" to it, but had heard of it later. I said that they were, and they were. One week later, 2nd meeting, they informed me that I was a "liar, a cancer to be cut out of the congregation". They said that since I didn't tell (which if you read about abuse, most abusers can't tell) or screamed (this was during a time when "screaming" was an issue)it was obvious to them that I was a severely troubled girl (at least they knew that much). So, I was Df'd.

I don't hate anyone in my situation. My mother at least "tried", but when the announcement came, she immediately x'd me from her life, even though she KNEW what the reality was. They are victims too, this is all I know that comforts me.

I'm sorry for your pain, and your losses. Perhaps your brother will contact you....there could be a silver lining somewhere in this situation.

((((Andi))))

Judicial Committee "assists" another ...

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