I need help telling Mom

momzcrazy

Ok guys, I have really come to respect your advice. Now I need some please.

My sister and I left the borg at the same time, coincidentally, for different reasons. She told Mom already, as they are in the same hall. Now my Mom is viewing me as her ally. She'll call me with news and says to tell "the other two". Our brother never was babtized. I have her only grandkids and I know she'll think her whole family is going to die now. I feel very sure of our decision to leave and I feel very good that my kids are out of the influence.

Alright, how do I tell her? I am not DF'd or DA'd, yet. But my Witness mom-in-law knows we went to a Halloween party last night, so we are going to have to deal with that today. I feel my Mom should know too, from me. You know how "good" news flies!

Thank You!

OnTheWayOut

Well, I have been a bit chicken to say things to Mom. I have been clear with her to a large
degree, but then she blocks it out of memory as if all is fine. I can't really advise on this
because I need help telling Mom things.

If it helps, I realize that Mom isn't ready to deal with it. I have dropped enough clear hints
so now I will just wait and answer any questions she asks. No questions from her means
no answers from me. Honest questions will get honest answers. Curiosity will be met
with curiosity. "Why are you asking?"

OnTheWayOut

bttt

dawg

I have no good advice... I can tell you what I did and then you can make up your mind if it was a good idea or not... I wrote letters to every family member I could think of, outlining the fallacies the brog has committed in their history...and then I asked them how they can claim to be Gods louthpiece under these circomstances. Then I asked them where the Bible say questioning men is apostacy-which is questoning God. I asked them to show me where my questioning the society is a dis-fellowshipping offense. Clearly, none of this is Bibical... it went about 50/50 SOme were glad I did it and wish they had the canolies, others wanted to kill me.

oompa

how long since you have been to meetings or out in service? oompa

how far away does your mother live? how sure of you she will find out? could you lie about it? why do feel you have to deal with it today?

full of questions arent I

ninja

going by your screen name....I wouldn't tell your mum....I would emigrate

momzcrazy

See, I knew I could count on you! Thanks for all the advice.

oompa, I haven't been in service for 2 years; meetings maybe one sunday a month; last one a month ago; she lives an hour away. I moved a year ago and the new Hall doesn't have my cards, no one even stopped to ask about my Halloween decorations. I felt the need to deal with it because my mother-in-law knows people who go to Mom's Hall, and mom-in-law knows we went to a Halloween Party last night. I guess I am just feeling guilty she thinks I'm a "fellow solider".

ninja, my screenname applies to me, my kids are always shaking their heads and saying I'm crazy. I tell them it's their fault! But I sure got a good laugh out of your suggestion.

i'm sorry OTWO, I don't know what bttt means, I'm still new to this demon internet!

The Oracle

momzcrazy,

yup, its tough to give good advice when we don't know all the details, however the truth (and I mean actually the truth) is usually a good bet.

However, this is not always the case. Sometimes you need to conceal some things to show kindness. You need to evaluate how your news will effect your mom and your relationship with her.

Is she intelligent and open minded enough to recognize there are good reasons why you have "slowed down" and are moving on with your life? Or is she likely to shun you?

I think it is really important that you preserve your relationship with her - whatever it takes.

IMHO, your ultimate objective should be to try and free her mind, so you can both exist outside of the controlling influeance of the WT. Then everything else will fall in to place and you will live happily ever after.

Think of her first - above yourself. Be kind. Be respectful. Show genuine interest and offer heartfelt, sincere, and logical reasons for why you are proceeding as you are. Encourage her to consider carefully, why you and others like you are deciding to stop attending meetings.

Whatever you decide - I hope it works out well for you!

The Oracle

momzcrazy

oracle, you are completely correct. Even without knowing all the facts, which would take waaay too much time, I have received great advice.

What you said makes great sense to me. I really do want her out too, but right now she is very close minded. I hope she won't shun me, but I think she will be more hurt. Now, none of her kids are Witnesses. She will be the only one in our family left in.

I am hoping she will see how well our lives are going and how happy we are and it will make her think.

Thank you so much.

The Oracle

anytime!

Hope everything works out for you!

Please let us know how things go.

peace to you!

The Oracle

I need help telling Mom

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