by momzcrazy 17 Replies latest social family
i'm sorry OTWO, I don't know what bttt means, I'm still new to this demon internet!
By making any response to your thread, I Bumped it To The Top.
That means I am interested in reviving your thread so that others will see it and respond.
You can do this to your own threads, but usually we don't say that it is a BTTT, but we
just add information or respond to an answer, to bring the thread up to the most active top.
When she call again and mention your sister leaving. Reply Mom, I know this may upset you, but I'm having my own issues with the organization. I would not say much more than this....she really cannot and do not want anymore information.
My parents are witnesses (father is an elder) and I've never been disfellowshipped of DA. But I'm a Christian and attend a church. My dad originally said that he would not be able to communicate with me (sometime he does and other times he reminds me that he cannot talk to me). My mother call me everyday...we talk about everything under the sun except religion. Every once in a while she will throw in a well meaning JW suggestion.
Back to your situation....take it slow. And handle your mother with Love. Never argue (if you want to...end the conversation).
I hope this helps.
Here is what I told my mom after I left the cult:
1975 was touted as the date when Christendom was to be destroyed and armageddon was going to occur.
1975 came and went with Christendom alive and well and armageddon was now touted as being 'just around the corner.'
The corner is now being stretched more than it was stretched in the last 30 years.
I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and worship Him as God.
In your mind, I am now affiliated with Christendom and have rejected God.
I am all too aware of the shunning that is practiced against all who leave your group.
However, before the shunning begins I must inform you that shunning is a two-way street.
Think about how shunning is going to affect your relationship with your grandchildren who you love so much.
I think you should be honest with your mom. I don't always like what my adult children do but I have to respect their space. Your Mom needs to "Grow Up" so to speak and start respecting you.
I wish I could help, but I'm in a similar situation myself. I allowed my mom to believe that an online video my brother watched and then discussed with her, had been sent to him by our brother in law. I couldn't fess up and admit that I had been the one to share it with him. She knows that I haven't gone to meetings for years and that I have NO desire to raise my children that way. But I also know she doesn't realize the damage that it has caused me and my siblings having been raised that way. I don't want her to think that she and my father failed in raising us, because really, we're all doing pretty well over all. Just not part of that organization. I wish there was an easy way, but really, when someone has been in for as long as our parents have been what could we possibly say or do to change that? All those years of brainwashing and conditioning, teaching them exactly what to say and convincing them that they believe what they are saying... it all seems so hopeless. But I know I can't give up hope for them.
Here's an update:
Mom-in-law (witness) picked up the kids from school for me today. When she got here she saw the Halloween stuff up. She finally called me tonite and asked about what was going on, she wanted to understand. My daughter had told her I had been online alot, so she asked what things I had found. We discussed blood, the flip flops of the borg, the Bible, elders, you name it. She was very open and understanding. I made a point of telling her everything I read online I verified in the Bible or the publications. I told her I felt great about our decision to leave. She didn't agree with Halloween because it is a "Catholic" holiday. It was fun telling her it is actually more of a pagan holiday. But it was also great telling her it was OK we didn't agree, we wanted to do it anyway.
Anyway, she wants to see what I have found. She said her and her non-Witness husband have had problems too with some of the things we discussed. Now I don't want to sound to eager, or count my eggs, but maybe she'll LEAVE!
Now I have to deal with my Mom. This is exhausting!!!
I recently posted about the topic of holidays in a thread by Paralipomenon, about the approach I've used with a reasonable amount of success with my JW relatives:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/144050/2591310/post.ashx#2591310
| Scully | Re: So that's what the other shoe looks like. Update with my parents | |
Post 13887 of 14183 since 02-Nov-01 Forum Assistant | "You are making a stand against Jehovah, that's something we cannot support" How can it possibly be that participating in holidays = "making a stand against Jehovah" when the BIBLE clearly says, in Romans 14:1-13
It's JWs who make the stink about holidays being offensive, but according to the BIBLE, there is no room for Christians to judge one another on the basis of individual convictions. The BIBLE makes it clear that it is a symptom of spiritual weakness when one Christian judges another, on things that they do which are not clearly contrary to scripture. The scripture also makes it clear that it is a symptom of spiritual weakness when one Christian abstains from things that are not clearly contrary to scripture and also attempts to impose his will on another. This is where I've had a measure of success in reasoning with my JW family members. The BIBLE (God's word, right?) isn't saying "don't observe holidays". The WTS does. And doesn't Rev. 22:18, 19 caution anyone from adding or taking away from God's word to suit their own purposes? So why does the WTS insist on adding to the Bible, when the Bible doesn't say "abstain from holidays"? They can't answer this question. So they back off and leave us alone. | |
MOMSCRAZY- I truly feel for your situation. I went through that 4 years ago with my parents . But my mom was very reasonable and very accepting of my fading away from the meetings, and I was able to in a respectful way tell her and my dad ( an elder ) how I felt about the unjust dealings in the organization. My dad still tries to drop off hints now and then , but he never forces anything. They are both cool. However I have 2 daughters who won't even talk with me, even though I'm a fader, not dfed.
So I would just be kind, loving and gradually explain things to your mom, don't drop a big bombshell on her all at once . She probably knows you have doubts anyway, because of not going in field service or much to meetings . So it might not surprise her like you think. Peace out, and good luck to you, Mr. Flipper
