Confused...

by millymollymandy 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  blueviceroy

  You will find a lot of bias here as in Jw hating , but the facts are the facts. JWs are members of a cult . Period.

  I was never a member , just had a near brush with them Being familiar with the Bible isn't a prerequisite for common sense, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

  Dogma sold as the truth , powerful and refined methods of indoctrination, do not give up what you hold and replace it with this spirit stealing group of people who seek only to > make you one of them<

  They will not respect your individuality or your personal beliefs. They will do all in they can to convince you of the righteousness of the system of beliefs they use , it's exclusivity, it's perfection and it's divine source.

  It's a very thinly veiled publishing company wrapped with a religious covering

  If you wish to be a part of an organization that wishes to dictate every aspect of your life (who you see, where you go , what you watch on TV, what you wear ,what you spend your money on , how you spend your time , what is proper to think say and do ) then by all means join them

  It you enjoy personal freedoms and loving other people do not get involved with them

  If you wish to find a spiritual path I would recomend a system of beliefs that is more than 160 years old

  They are not a good organization with which to be affiliated
• 

  millymollymandy

  There's no danger of me being converted - my own religion feels right for me and is a lot less scary and more joyous than the Watchtower.

  I'm just not ready to face up to making my boyfriend choose - or making that decision for him by walking away.

  I'm looking at the JW Facts site now - thanks for the recommendation, it looks pretty good.
• 

  primitivegenius

  what your getting right now has a term applied to it....... LOVEBOMBING......... they think they can shower you with love and then get you to convert........... THATS when the judgeing starts and you will see the coldness whether its from his family or the congregation. he could have a cool as hell family that isnt strict........ as long as you dont get baptised they cant shun you. so dont study with them or get baptised and you should be ok.

  problem is............ how serious is your jw bf......... cause if he still belives it is the "truth" then you will certainly be in for a rough ride.

  do a wide search for what jws do and take things with a grain of salt. every congregation is different and some of them were actually ok......... except for the fact they are all based on lies and manipulation.
• 

  Connaughty

  Hi there, and welcome to this site. I'm kinda new to it as well. It's great that you are in relationship with one in our faith.

  But, I will be honest with you, I've seen this kind of thing happen before, and let me tell you about where this is taking you. First of all, if this relationship becomes very serious, and I think that it is, you will one day want to take it to the next level, marriage. That is the beginning of your problems, because if you are not a baptised JW. you will not be allowed to be married in the JW faith (ask your boy friend what that means). Your dating stages will also need to be monitored, that is if your boyfriend is serious about his faith. It sounds that his family is liberal, and their are some that are, and this is a good thing. However the simple task of the marriage ceremony creates some barriers with the two faiths. But I just got finished speaking with a Catholic colleague who was describing her problems in marrying a Catholic. They are giving them a hard time as well since that will be an Interfaith marriage. I really wish and hope that it goes well with you and your mate. I have been been married for 33 wonderfull years in the faith, and yes there were ups and downs. There were some strange things that we have noticed as well, within our organization, but we have very good friends that are sound in mind as well. We also have friends that are not of our faith, as well that we respect. We have learn't to live with the strange things,and you will also
• 

  Younglove1999

  I just want to add that the whole impression that JW's "know the bible" isn't really all that true-

  As a JW, you're trained to remember "key" scriptures and we review them over and over and over again. Matthew 24, 1 Timothy 3:1-5, Rev. 21:3, 4 and so on- so compared with most other people out there it would seem like the JW's "know their stuff"- it's merely just the same group of scriptures over and over again that they touch upon- you'll get your true "bible head" in the organization now and then, but for the most part, most of the JW's know those scriptures and merely know how to get access to the organizations interpretations of the rest of the bible so it seems like we've done our research-

  Good luck with everything!
• 

  NotaNess

  Here's something to think about. Let's say a friend at a party pointed out a cute guy(your boyfriend), and you never met him before, but she's trying to hook you up. If she told you "hey, he' a stock broker, her drives a vette, he's 6'3"....you'd be like "wow, tell me more". The next thing she says, is "but he belongs to a cult".

  Would you go over and meet him???? Would you have ever given him any further attention?

  This is who you're in a relationship with. Now what?
• 

  jgnat

  Hi, I'm a regular Christian married to a JW. There's a few things going on here.

  1. After FIVE YEARS you are finally introduced to the family. They are making the best of it and welcoming you. You are right that the subtext is that they hope you will convert.

  2. Marrying an "unbeliever" is not a disfellowshipping offence, but it is also frowned upon. Are you intending to marry, or are you happy with the current arrangement?

  3. Sex before marriage is definitely a disfellowshipping offence. It's called fornication and there are specific bible verses warning against it. Find out from your boyfriend if he ever intends to come clean about this. Are you a big part of his life or simply side entertainment? Use protection until you find out how serious he is.
• 

  millymollymandy

  Well, I couldn't go through with talking to my boyfriend yesterday about all this. I felt like if I did it would ruin everything (which is pretty telling, I suppose!). I'm going to try again, but it's so hard when we've hardly ever talked about it before. It's so strange - we kind of talk about certain parts of both of our religions to each other for sort of informational purposes, but never in relation to our own relationship.

  2. Marrying an "unbeliever" is not a disfellowshipping offence, but it is also frowned upon. Are you intending to marry, or are you happy with the current arrangement?

  We've both hinted to each other a few times that we would like to get married at some point, but we've never talked about it properly. I'm starting to get a bit fed up with how things are at the moment, because I do feel a bit like a part-time girlfriend (we only get to see each other for a few hours every weekend). I think that if we were to get married my own family would eventually be fine with it, despite us being of different religions.

  3. Sex before marriage is definitely a disfellowshipping offence. It's called fornication and there are specific bible verses warning against it. Find out from your boyfriend if he ever intends to come clean about this. Are you a big part of his life or simply side entertainment? Use protection until you find out how serious he is.

  I doubt very much that he's told anyone we're sleeping together, and that he would do so out of choice. To be honest I would have thought it would have been obvious seeing as we've been together for so long, but perhaps it isn't. I think I am a big part of his life, but I don't know how big. It's hard when we live miles away from each other and I'm not entirely sure how much of his time he devotes to the JWs.

  Well there you go, I'm still in the same confused state as I was before. I know it needs to be sorted out, and soon, but I'm so scared. When I do tackle it though, my main points of discussion will be:

  1. Exactly how devout are you? Do you want to leave if not very?
  2. Are your parents hoping that I will convert? Do you know that I would never do that?
  3. When it comes down to it, are you more likely to choose them or me? (harsh, but necessary?)

  Does that sound okay?