Were You/Are You Oversensitive?

minimus

When you were a JW, did others ever tell you that you were "oversensitive"? How about now??

nicolaou

Hell no!! you've got a bloody cheek even asking!!

fokyc

YES, I was oversensitive then and the PO and elders regularly told me. I was oversensitive to their lies!

I am still oversensitive, they don't tell me so often as they don't call, but they still tell Sister fokyc, "Your husband is over sensitive, needs to lighten up, needs to get a life and uses the internet TOO much!."

fokyc

R.F.

No, I was never told that.

R.F.

anewme

OMG YES!!!!!!

It causes me all sorts of problems and I wish I could turn off my troubled worried mind, but it is really difficult.

Other people seems tougher, stronger minded, more relaxed and resilient in the face of criticism or conflict.

I get crushed and deflated so easily. You would think at my age my skin would have developed some kind of protective thickness, but no.

At times I am better able to excuse offenses but sometimes I am as vulnerable and weak as a baby.

Drugs do help. Vitamins too. Sleep is good. Spirituality helps a lot. Wisdom comforts. Friends are valuable.

Staying focused and busy on my own concerns is also good for overlooking the annoyances of life.

Right now I am out looking for a job. I am scared to wind up in some office where people are not sensitive to my sensitivity, if you get what I am saying. At my last job two years ago, I ran into trouble with my sensitivity being a problem on the job.

But tell us more Minimus, why do you bring up the subject?

What do you do to avoid being too sensitive?

Anewme

Irreverent

WHAT DO YOU MEAN OVERSENSITIVE !!!!!!!

minimus

Calm down, Irrev.

I'm not generally oversensitive. I try to be logical. ANEWME, are you kidding, or what?

nvrgnbk

Yes.

I was.

I also think I am very sensitive to the feelings of others.

A select few may disagree with that.

But leaving JWism and also posting on JWD has helped me to thicken my skin a bit.

I still find myself apologizing often, even when I feel have not been offensive.

But as perceptions are reality to those that hold them, I feel a need to apologize in some cases, not for what I actually said or did, but for the way my words or actions were experienced by the other individual.

I feel that by the time I die, I will have learned to properly assess the matter of how much sensitivity is too much.

It's a delicate balance we seek, between caring for the feelings of others and also understanding that those around us were already "feeling" a certain way about how they fit into the world before we arrived on the "scene".

The way others react to us often says more about them that it does about us.

Illustration:

In speaking to other business owners and considering my own experiences, I have learned that though one strives to please customers/clients, much of the interactions that are had with them are predetemined.

In other words, "happy" people will be appreciative of one's efforts to please them and not sweat the small stuff.

"Miserable" people will always be , well, miserable.

These tendencies carry over into every aspect of life.

If I feel that everything has always been "bad" for me, I will most likely continue to see "badness" everywhere I look.

If I think life is basically "good", I'll benefit even from the "bad" that comes along from time to time.

I spend alot of time and emotional energy trying to work all of this out in my own mind.

I second-guess myself all day long.

Was it because I was in a cult?

Was it because my mother didn't love me enough?

Hard to say.

Thanks for this topic, min.

anewme

Sadly, thinking about it more, I have always been this way. I wonder why? I remember my parents telling me I was such a sensitive child they never had to spank me. All they had to do was say my name in a scolding manner and I would cry and beat myself in shame over some misconduct.

When the witnesses recruited me all they had to do was tell me over and over the condition of the world and how everything was being ruined and I felt so badly for the world and wanted with all my heart to help save people and do my part. It was only right I felt.
So I was that way as a JW too. I wanted to please so much. But that attitude has its conflicts and problems. And something inside, some self preservation rears its head when you least expect it to.

Maybe it has to do with being raised by an alcoholic mom. I had to tippy toe around her as a wee child and be very good or else something could tick her off and when drinking she could get very mean and verbally abusive. She would use my behavior as an excuse to drink and yell. So I learned to be very good and quiet.
I prayed to God to be the best child I could be for my mother and father so they would not fight and so their marriage would stay together. Poor child that I was did not know I had nothing to do with their problems.

However that childlike belief that my being good could affect my future and how I was treated has stayed with me into my 50s.
When I rebelled against the Society and suffered disfellowshipping, the punishment was torturous for my people pleasing soul. I almost did not survive it.
I resorted to alcohol to quiet my dark thoughts and sadly got in trouble again,this time with the law and was arrested for a DUI and sent to jail.
What a sad consequence of events for one who at heart is sensitive and only wants to please and be loved.

I hear stories of those in jail and understand how a good human heart can suffer and make bad decisions and wind up on the wrong side of the law. Very sad.

But there is help out there. There are people willing to devote time to me and give me pep talks and buoy me along until I snap out of a funk. They see my value and contribution in other areas and feel I am worth a little of their time.

But as I say, I wish I were stonger minded. I wish I joked more and saw the humor more. I am too serious and it causes me as I say alot of pain.

SO MAKE ME LAUGH MINIMUS!!!!!!

SOMEONE TRY TO MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

Anewme

Were You/Are You Oversensitive?

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