Fading From the Witnesses- How Hard Did Your Family Try to Bring You Back?

flipper

I have been a fader now for 4 years , and at this point my witness family pretty much leaves me alone in that they don't try to push their beliefs on me anymore ! At first they did, the first 6 months or so. My daughters showed me a video of Korah talking against Aaron, etc. and told me I shouldn't talk against the elders, blah, blah! But they stopped in time when I held firm my views of unfair treatment. My parents respected my fade because they knew there had been unfair treatment , so they did not try to bring me back, thankfully !

So, what about our fading friends out here ? How is your fade going ? Are you being harassed still to "come back to the organization" ? Or are the witnesses, family and other witnesses letting you fade quietly with no problems ? It would be interesting to hear from you. Look forward to seeing your replies ! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

compound complex

Good-ungodly-hour morning, Mr. Flipper,

You know how they say that a new Witness should be locked up for six months? Well, the same holds true of a JW who learns the truth about the "Truth." I said too much initially, but my loved ones - friends as well as family - were discreet and loving. I went with the program for as long as possible to keep the family intact. Then a tacit agreement was made, all parties respecting the other's position. As the "patriarch" of the family, I'm still viewed as the spiritual head, in a manner of speaking. Our conversations center around our spiritual commonalities and family matters.

But it ain't easy, Mr. and Mrs. Flipper ... I can feel for you in you particular circumstance.

CoCo

dawg

THey applied guilt, guilt and more guilt. But the elders nor my family (my dad is an elder) could answer the questions I had, i knew there was a rat in my soup from day one. I was df and came back, that didn't take. It was pressure, hard to pinpoint but pure pressure form all angles. You know what I'm talking about flipper.

Now, I see my family and friends in my past as idiots, I go down the road at times and think, why was it me that had to take the hard stand, why didn't they do it first? I'm the one who applies pressure now.

momzcrazy

Good Morning Mr. Flipper!

I have been fading without knowing it for at least a year. I moved an hour away and to a new hall. We never went in service here and gradually went down to Sundays, sometimes. But last month I just stopped wasting my time. My mom-in-law has been in and out for years, she's currently in. She was babysitting for us last week and saw our Halloween decorations. That night she called me saying she just wanted to understand. So we talked for about an hour and she asked to see some of my research, that she has had doubts too. Last night they came to dinner and she started right in. She said the reason blood fractions are allowed is because they are synthetic. False. And then she said "If you can just make it thru Armageddon...What about your Grandma, she worked so hard to come back to Jehovah!". I told her I didn't believe that unless you are a JW you are going to die. If I honestly thought my decision would kill my kids I would fake it and try to save them. That pi**ed me off! But if the blood issue was all she could argue with, out of 7 pages of research, made me think she knows I'm right.

Now my mom doesn't know yet. My sister left when I did, by coincidence. My mom doesn't start on her, she talks to me about it. How scary the "world" is, I hope she comes back to Jehovah, all of it. I tried to talk to her about me and she just changed the subject. I understand that she will get overwhelmed. But I can only imagine the guilt trips she'll lay on me.

nvrgnbk

Spoke with an old friend for about two hours last night.

He was actually the one that contacted me.

He didn't bring "it" up once.

General news about projects, yes, but nothing "preachy", nothing about "when are you coming back"?

In fact, he said I sounded alot more cheerful than the last time we spoke, which was regarding my decision to leave.

I think that says alot.

It was probably the best conversation I ever had with this friend.

I felt like I could be myself 100%.

Had a great conversation with another friend that also called on the weekend.

These are both guys that mean alot to me.

I can see them "getting out" sometime before they get too old.

I'm glad I didn't DA myself but have worked through my "fade" patiently.

As for my family, I was kinda shunned yesterday by my sister, but it was just because she was worried that the non-family JWs present at the meal might feel uncomfortable.

It's ok.

My parents have been pretty decent.

I think if we show them that we left for love of life and that we now love them unconditionally, instead of trying to win doctrinal wars with them, we can greatly influence the outcome in a positive way.

I realize it hasn't been so easy for many.

oompa

I ran my mouth too much at first when finally confirming my doubts about wt. I get no pressure at all from anybody, and right now my wife and I have pretty much agreed to disagree. I had only one visit from elders and the main points were 1. have you visited apostate web sites....yes, but only a little..2. get your mental health fixed...3. no we dont have any problem with WT changing the NWT and lying to us about it....nothing since.....feels good....oompa

lisavegas420

Nope, I don't feel like they tried at all....

Maybe they were afraid of what I know..

or maybe they are just too selfish to share their paradise with me and my children.

lisa

mentalclearness

Actually I was pretty firm about my desicion. No ifs and or buts about it..So they respected my desicion from the beginning. We just don't talk about Jw things when we are together.

flipper

Thanks for all your replies ! It really helps when we can share our battle stories here together !

CoCo- Hello friend ! Yeah, I got in early at 2:00 A.M. from working so I was wired up on caffeine, thought I'd start a thread on this subject while trying to wind down from working ! I'm glad to hear most of your family is loving to you. It really helps ! I also stay on safe subjects most of the time , but occasionally my mom will talk about anything with me as she is very open minded, although a witness! Some of my family is loving, mom and dad as you know, my brother and his wife are better now , for some bizarre reason, I think to impress our mom , but my daughters still won't talk with me. I'm still thinking of sending them some pictures just to say hello , and let them see my wife and son, and myself have had some fun camping trips and life is good! Stay positive ! Good to hear from you, Peace out.

DAWG- "Guilt " is definitely in their vocabulary and among the weapons of mass destruction they use for sure ! I do know about pressure my friend , like you say from all angles ! Been there, done that! But, I feel the reason your family did not take the stand first before you did, was because you were more honest than them in seeing the fallacies of the witnesses, and stronger to deal with the fallout than them ! That's why it took you to make the stand first. They probably could not have hacked it and been able to do what you did ! Hang in bro, Peace .

MOMZCRAZY- I'm glad to see your sister left the org. when you did. At least that gives you another family member to turn to outside of your husband that understands your fade ! Your mom will be hurt for awhile if she finds out , but just keep showing her unconditional love and talk about things of family concern. Then she will see you don't want any hassles, you want peace ! Good luck, Peace

NVR- Hey, my friend ! Sounds like the fading is going good for the most part ! Your parents sound like my parents, pretty decent ! I have one sel-righteous older sister ( ex gilead graduate ) who won't talk with me , so I understand how you felt with your sister's situation. I agree with you that by showing unconditional love to them, they may see how happy we are and that we do love life and our family feelings are the same for them! I hope all of our situations can become more positive ! Hang in bro ! Peace.

OOMPA- Glad you don't get pressured now and the wife agrees to disagree ! Crazy elders though, between you, me and the gatepost, it's the elders in this cult who need their heads examined ! LOL! Peace bud, hang in there !

LISA VEGAS- Hey Lisa! How ya doin'? Your family probably has been afraid and is afraid of what the real " truth " would reveal to them. Maybe they know how firm you are in your convictions , so they stay quiet because they want to respect that ! I know my family generally treats me that way, not wanting to drive me away more! Funny thing is, they don't realize that their not talking about things doesn't make me want the beliefs more either ! Peace to you, hang in there !

MENTAL CLEARNESS- Glad to hear you were firm with them. Sometimes that works better for some ! And it's good you can still be together as a family and not talk JW speak but just normal family relations ! Peace out you all, Mr. Flipper Look forward to more responses !

flipper

So, how are your fades going all you faders? Are you hanging in there with it? Is there anything any of the rest of us faders can assist you with ? Or is everything peaches and cream ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Fading From the Witnesses- How Hard Did Your Family Try to Bring You Back?

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