Crap... Elders coming over tonight for a pep talk

by still_in74 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  still_in74

  Well its finally here........ the day I get the pep talk.

  Considering I havent been out in service for 6 months and I never comment because I cant parrot the WT, and I havent been to the book study in 2 months cause the Revelation book makes me nausious........ (that why no more Revelation weekly reviews --- sorry Oompa! )

  Yet when I talk with bro's and sis's I seem to be the one in the know, I am the one that knows what is going on in the org and am up on the "new light". I am "so smart". I am an accomplished public speaker outside the org so when I give talks I give "good" talks. "why isnt he an elder?" people have asked.

  So I am sure I am going to be presented with the speech about how they can "use" me and how I could help the congregation. How I have so much potential to expand my privileges in Jeh's org.

  Any advice?? Any elders here that can give me a heads up?
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  carla

  "how they can "use" me"-- how appropriate, use you and discard you later you mean. Sorry they are coming over. Can't you go out for pizza or something and claim you forgot?
• 

  R.F.

  What is your situation? Are you married, single, live alone.......?

  I'd personally do what carla suggested and go out and do something, avoiding them at all costs. Then once again, that depends on the situation.
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  Open mind

  Hello still_in74,
  
  Just curious, how did your #4 talk on blood go?
  
  How was it received?
  
  Did you get "love bombed"?
  
  How often are you attending meetings, if at all?
  
  Also, what outcome would you like from the shepherding call?
  
  Open Mind
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  undercover

  Every person's situation is different. I'm assuming that you don't want to be outed and need to keep "fading".

  If you need to stay under the radar and don't want to give yourself away, be cautious. Don't say too much...don't even ask too much.

  If they are pleasant and nice, return the pleasantness. If they are more accusatory and nosy, don't let them pull you into an argument or debate. You can't argue and win with someone trapped in a cult if they don't want to listen to your side.

  Unless you can lie to their face without flinching, avoid the question, "Do you believe that Jehovah is operating through the Faithful and Discreet Slave class?" or similar question. Any negative answer to that question will end up badly. In the end, you will still have to play the stupid game with them, just to get them to go away.

  In my experience with these visits, they never go they way that I envisioned they would go. When I expect confrontation and debate, it surprises me that its more of a social call. I'll be prepared to fight it out and it never gets to anything doctrinal. When I let my guard down and am surprised by a visit, it usually ends up being confrontational because I didn't follow my own advice of keeping my mouth shut.
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  drew sagan

  If you want to fade out, just let them give you their opinions, nod your head, and then after they are gone act as if they never stopped by.
  
  Even better, tell them you are going to start doing better. When you don't what are they going to do?
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  flipper

  STILL IN 74- Mr. Flipper here. I was a ministerial servant 6 years. Dad has been an elder for 53 years , so I do know a little. I looked back over your topics and now I remember you went through hell with your wife finding your " Crisis of Conscience book" , correct ? How did that go ? That may have a bearing on how you respond to the elders , do ya think? Is your wife over her shock of finding you with the book? Was it her who has put the elders up to visit you today ? Sorry for so many questions, but it helps clarify matters. Believe me, I've dealt with the elders mind games towards me a lot, with unjust accusations, so I've become fairly adept at knowing what they are going to do. I've gotta take a nap, as I worked all night. Try to think about the questions I asked and let me know so I can respond better after I wake up in a couple hours.

  But, in case you don't get a hold of me before they come, here are a few good pointers. If they mention the book , just say you didn't know it was considered an apostate book. . Be vague. If they ask you, " Do you consider the faithful and discreet slave to be Jehovah's organization and the one he is using ? " Lie and say, " I do , but I am just confused about lots of things. I've been depressed about life and I'm coping the best I can with it. " Then just give them very vague answers which make no sense to them. That way they can't pinpoint you on something they recognize. They are cult mind controlled and will try to trick you into saying something to dick yourself. Pardon my expression. Anyway, be careful, especially if you are still married to the emotional wife. All you need is her causing you extra stress with "you have to do this !" crap. In essence Still in 74, it is none of the elders business what is keeping you from meetings, and in lieu of not messing your words up, you could simply say , " I have personal reasons, I'd rather keep to myself ". And leave it at that, let them read you a few scriptures, then wish them a good day, then they'll leave. Just don't let them control you or invade your space more than they already have. These tactics have worked for me before ! Peace, bro, let me know, good luck ! Mr. Flipper
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  First and best would be to do what Carla said: don't be there.

  Next, if you feel you must be there, do as Undercover said.
  Return their pleasantness and don't get into arguments. You don't have to lie.
  If asked, "Do you believe that Jehovah is operating through the Faithful and Discreet Slave class?"
  you can just not answer. Garybuss showed me the way to do this (but my elders never called, so
  it is not from experience).

  "Do you believe that Jehovah is operating through the Faithful and Discreet Slave class?"

  "I accept what the WT says." (Total nonanswer- you accept some of the things it says, and they
  flip back and forth, no real answer.)

  "What do you mean?"

  "I accept what the WT says."

  "What does it say? Which WT?"

  "Why do you ask? What are you implying?"

  "We just want to know which information you accept."

  "The WT."

  "Which issue?"

  "I accept what the WT says. What are you implying?"

  This can go on all night. You might not be ready for such a debate that leads nowhere.
  You can say, "I have to think about what you are saying." and never answer any questions.
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  proandcon

  Likely they will ask you where you've been...if so, just profess to be "depressed" and have some issues to work through...they may try to encourage you...but after they leave will not follow up again. When you finally do leave, they'll only remember you as being under mental distress and "weak"...so what...whatever you do...do NOT get into any organizational discussion with them or answer any questions from them...feign the "depression card" and you;'ll be home free...proandcon
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  FlyingHighNow

  Do they drink? I'm serious here, offer them some refreshing alcoholic beverages. If you can get them buzzing, then crank up the feel good tunes. Distract them with fun and laughter. Make them forget why they came.