tmi = too much information
tell an interesting story
by John Doe 30 Replies latest jw friends
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John Doe
¡???? ?noq? ??s s,??1 '11?? ¿??bi? pu? ???1 sbui?? ?ou? no? ?ui?? ¿?? ????s ??,no? ?ui?? no? 'os
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Clam
A soldier was returning from Iraq where he had fought with distinction and been decorated. His wife and son knew he was due home but not when, so the boy on seeing his father approach the driveway, jumped up in surprise and ran into the house. "Mom Mom! Dad's coming up the drive and he looks like he's got a purple heart on." the proud lad gasped.
"Never mind what colour it is," snapped the Mother. "Go and play next door!"
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John Doe
That one took me a minute, clam. ;-)
edited--damn, my typing is screwy lately. ;-)
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4mylove
BIG D
I'm a huge Stevie fan! Must have been awesome to meet him. Don't know if anyone will beat that guitar playing.
LITTLE WING!!!!!!!
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Open mind
One time,
In band camp...
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Gregor
It was pouring rain at 1 am. My wife woke me, "I think I hear dripping in the attic" I listened to the "thunk...thunk...thunk" and agreed.
Got a ladder to get up to the attic hatch in the hallway outside the kids bedroom doors. Took the shade off a table lamp, ran an extension cord and climbed up, crawled around and looked. Nothing. Came down, put lamp and ladder away. Went out into back yard and found an upturned plastic kiddie pool with big drops from the eaves falling onto it.."thunk...thunk...thunk.." Mystery solved.
We go back to bed, lights out. 30 seconds later the doorbell rings. The light goes on. We look at each other, "What the hell?' it's now 1:30 am. We go to the front door. It's two policemen. "We received a report of a prowler at this address". We are baffled. About this time our oldest son (15 at the time) emerges from his room in his underwear, his eyes as big as saucers and carrying a baseball bat. "I called them", he says. "Somebody was in our attic and I saw lights flashing like they were taking picutes".
We explained what had happened to the officers.
Our son is now 37 and he still hides his face in his hands when this story is retold for the umpteenth time.
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justhuman
I aint got one
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John Doe
Ha ha. How come he didn't ask you before calling the police?
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AlmostAtheist
I'm quitting smoking with the aid of nicotine patches. It's hard to sleep with them, but they give you the most amazing, vivid dreams. The other night, I had this one: (edited, to get it into 100 words [more or less])
I was at a bar with a man and his wife. His wife got on the floor, grabbed my foot, and began striking herself in the face with it. She screamed, "My teeth! My teeth!" I took her head in my hands and looked in her mouth. When she lifted her tongue, I could see several small bones, including two tiny skulls that appeared to be human skulls. I remember picking one up and looking at it briefly. I dismissed them -- inexplicably -- as chicken bones. (Apparently it was too weird for her to have miniature human bones in her mouth, but perfectly acceptable for her to have chicken bones!) Her teeth were indeed cracked -- broken, in fact -- and the insides of the broken teeth were hollow. I told her she needed to be seen by a dentist immediately, and there was one only a few doors up the street. "He'll see you right now, it's an emergency," I told her.
Dave of the "can't count words" class