Religion in a Nutshell

by Farkel 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Religion in a Nutshell

    Taoism: crap happens.

    Buddhism: if crap happens, it's not really crap.

    Islam: if crap happens, it is the will of Allah.

    Islamofascist Islam: if crap happens, YOU deserve it.

    Protestantism: crap happens if you don't work hard enough.

    Judaism: why does crap always happen to us?

    Hinduism: this crap happened before.

    Catholicism: crap happens because you are bad.

    Hari Krishna: crap happens, Rama Rama!

    T.V. Evangelism: send us more crap! Use money orders!

    Atheism: there is no crap.

    Jehovah's Witnesses: knock, knock: if you don't buy our crap you are going to be in the worst crap in human history.

    Hedonism: crap is Good! Rock on!

    Christian Science: all crap is just in your mind.

    Mormonism: if we can get through all this crap we will be GODS!

    JimJonesism: if you don't like my crap, drink this!

    Scientology: you can buy your way out of crap.

    Agnosticism: maybe crap happens, maybe not.

    Existentialism: crap depends on how you look at it.

    Stoicism: I don't give a crap about crap.

    Deism: God created this crap and he doesn't give a crap anymore.

    Southern Baptists: you deserve to have major crap ruin your life if you use makeup or dance. Especially if you are male.

    Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this crap!

    Farkelism: it is ALL crap!

    Farkel

  • blueviceroy
    blueviceroy

    What about "liberal secular humanists?"

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Religion can bite me!

    Amen, my truth-spewing brother!

    Much respect to you, Farkel.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of one hand crapping?

    Good to see you Fark-meister.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Reality is where it's at.

    Of course, my reality kicks your reality in the ass, every time!

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Liberal secular humanists: Let's all share this crap together?

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    VERY nice to see you Doug.

    Hope you stick around a while, but understand if you don't.

    You were definitely a "lightning bolt" poster who hit me between the eyes in my early lurking days.

    Open Mind

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Catholicism: crap happens because you are bad. So confess that crap

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    : Catholicism: crap happens because you are bad. So confess that crap Why? The person one would confess to is also doing that crap, and his advice is therefore hypocritcal crap. Why share your crap with another one who can "forgive" you of your crap, but who also is doing the same crap and HIS confession to his Boss is also doing the same crap is also silly, ad infinitum? Just do your crap and if it doesn't hurt anyone else, don't worry about it. Let the Watchtower Printing Corporation sort it out! Trust me! Farkel

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Neo-Pagan: We have the oldest crap, therefore its the best crap

    New Age: It is the age of new crap.

    Faith Healer: This crap will heal your crap, in exchange for crap.

    Thelemites: Only Crowley's crap will suffice

    Qabalists: Crap emanates crap.

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