Can You Feel the Love......? (page 3)

OnTheWayOut

Oompa, everyone is welcome to their opinion. Yours is as valid as any.

NOT IGNORING this is feeding the beast. They want Jeff and company to get upset
and think about why they are being shunned. While you may have some point that
they won't know that they didn't get a rise out of Jeff, they will not see the reaction they
hope for. Therefore, ignoring this could be a better outcome than giving in to reacting.

Also, they may know very well from the source that tells Jeff. They may know that
he knew about the visit.

Focus on helping Jeff here. If not ignoring his sister-in-law, what would you suggest?
Why do you suggest that?

oompa

OTWO, I did make a recommendation. Mine was to NOT show anger, but let them know you know, and ask them calmly about how this may affect her sister and would God approve of that. I like Flippers approach....do something....don't shun back.....oompa

Again...if the sister and hubby leave town thinking they snuck in and out....only Jehovah and Outlaw will know they have been ignored... and nothing will have been accomplished at all except them thinking they can get away with that with a clear conscience

solidergirl

Hey Jeff the same thing happen to me except I was in the truth and my mom is Df. I live with my mom and we had some very hard times very. My aunt lives a couple of blocks away and never came over to check up on me or my my mom to make sure we where breathing. I stop going to the meetings too depress and I felt very rejected. We move a to a city 30 minutes away still no vistors my other family is very active in the truth and knew all our personal info to get in touch with me. Hell the friends travel to this city constantly it wasnt tell I made my decision to join the Navy (I needed to move on with my life) that my phone started to ring off the chain. My aunt realized she had other family and the friends offer to take me to the meetings. I was in a serious car accident left me at home constantly besides when I would bum a ride from my worldly coworker who seem to give a s@#t. I would say everybody influence my decision to join trying to cut my mom off the ended up cuttin me off and now I dont want to go back cause i still got some self-esteem left in me to realize who you true friends are in a time of need.

horrible life

Jeff, I know my brother does this also. He sneaks into town, with his wife, to see her family. Even though this is a small town, I can't drive by their house everyday to check. Plus, they live on the same piece of land as the Kingdom Hall. YUK I don't even know what kind of car he drives, but it is out-of-state tag. I would have to have binoculars though. LOL

Nobody in this town, would even tell me. People who know me, don't know them, and vice-versa.

The only way, I would find out, would be to see them out to eat. I once saw a Colorado tag, at the Pizza Hut, so I made my husband stop, and pretend to go in and eat. Wasn't him, we left. LOL

I think it would be fun, to go into a restaurant, that they are at, get seated, and make sure they see you. Don't act surprised to see them, just wave, if they caught your eye, a nonchalant wave, from across the restaurant. With a weak smile, mumbling to yourself and wife, "Oh s&%t, they see us", and advert your eyes.

Then they would have to explain why they didn't tell you, they were in town. Make them feel uncomfortable. Put them on the defensive.

horrible life

OR, Put a note, on their car, and tell the sister, "Glad to see you are in town. Your sister doesn't know yet. Would you like me to tell her, and have her feelings hurt? or Would you like to call her, and invite her out to lunch, and be able to see her and spend time with her, before you go?

momzcrazy

Jeff? Are you there?

It's beautiful you are so mad for your wife's sake. Take her out to dinner, give her a rose, put her in a bubble bath and try to talk her into letting you make her feel better. Or tomorrow go for a nice drive and have brunch.

Unfortunately with the JW's, it is now you and your wife alone. So enjoy it and strengthen the bonds of the team.

PS I know from what I speak.

momzcrazy

Scully

Today I discovered that they are in town, out to dinner last nite, and didn't even tell my wife [or I] or invite her along. I am just seething! She is not DA'd or Df'd [I am]. She is not even allowed to see her own sister due to me leaving the cult? GRRRRR

I can totally relate, Jeff.

My JW relatives won't see me or inform me of their plans to be in the area due to Mr Scully's DA'd status (which was not voluntary, by the way, but imposed by the local Elders™ - we didn't even know about it until almost a year after they'd made the announcement).

Just more proof that the JWs are followers of men, imo.

AK - Jeff

My JW relatives won't see me or inform me of their plans to be in the area due to Mr Scully's DA'd status (which was not voluntary, by the way, but imposed by the local Elders™ - we didn't even know about it until almost a year after they'd made the announcement).
Just more proof that the JWs are followers of men, imo.

Thanx all for the support. Sorry that Outlaw and Oompa had a disagreement over this.

I had not checked up on the thread since posting it due to a serious bout with Cold/Flu. It knocked me for a loop, and I just now got out of bed after 24 hours in bed [most of the time].

Update:

I got up for a bit of breakfast this morning, and the phone rings. It is my wife's sister [the one who lives here in town, also the one who likes to stir the shit when she can]. She would have assumed me to be at work, would have been if I had not been sick. She invited my wife over for a little get-together with her sister and BIL from out of town. They were meeting with another brother and SIL from this area to look thru old pictures at Wifey' mom's house.

So at least she was given the opportunity to see her sister. She is not back yet, so I have no idea how it went. My wife is not one to ripple the water, so likely it will go without a hitch. Plus her mom is going to be there.

The timing was interesting. Both the call and the get-together were planned to make sure I was at work and could not have assumed I was invited. LOL

To me, these games all read like second grade hide-and-seek. You would think that adult 'Christians' could deal with reality in a kinder way.

IN spite of my illness [I feel about 60% better now], I must return now and finish watching Cleveland whipping Pittsburg.

Jeff

OnTheWayOut

Regardless of their lack of Christian love, I am glad they called for your wife.
She should have been called beforehand to be able to plan for her family visit, but
at least she got something.

ESTEE

Jeff,

I am sorry to hear your wife was excluded from a family get-together because you have left the borg. Not surprising, though, since their religion is known to severely divide families. Not the way Jesus wants families to operate, but he knew some religions would divide because some religions are abusive.

You are not alone in this. On my (and Mr Estee's) holidays this year, my brother (let's call him Don) invited all my brothers to get together and visit when we arrived. I have six brothers. Two are jw and were also invited. Of course the two jws did a no-show. It was to be expected---they were speechless!(That's what I now call shunning.)

The jws shun, as you know, because they are afraid of us who have left. The dubs have been brainwashed into believing we are no longer the same people we used to be in our brainwashed state as in our newly un-brainwashed state. You and I know we are becoming un-brainwashed. But the dubs are told from the platform that we are now demonized. Thus the fear and the speechlessness.

Keep breathing, Jeff . . . and keep loving your wife. One day soon she may not see a need to visit with the dubs --- her choice. When I didn't see my two jw brothers, it did not bother me this time, because I now recognize they shun out of fear. I silently bless them to their fear-based path. There are many lessons they must learn from choosing to live on a path of fear.

A path we have released from our lives and outgrown.

Keep breathing . . . there is health in abundance on the other side of dub-dumb.

Love and good health to all

ESTEE

Can You Feel the Love......?

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