How Did You Personally Deal With Disfellowshipped Ones? (page 2)

Bonnie_Clyde

I followed all the rules and didn't speak to DF'd ones. I only have had one family member, a niece, DF'd but by that time I started to doubt. She lived out of state, but when she came to visit her grandfather (my father), I talked to her. I thought it was interesting that my father paid no attention to the fact that she was DF'd. She stayed a week and helped take care of my mother who was in a wheelchair. I know very well that, as an elder, he would not have approved if someone else in the congregation had a DF'd relative staying in their home. But he always had two standards.

avidbiblereader

At first I walked the line and then later seen the unloving actions of myself as a hypocrit and judge, so then I started speaking to them. I am reaping what I sown, no one bothers me.

abr

undercover

I pretty much toed the company line when it came to shunning DFd people...until...

My best friend growing up had been DFd for awhile and then his long-time JW father died. I remember my "former" friend standing at the end of the receiving line at the funeral. I spoke to all the other family members and when I got to him I was at a loss as to what to do...so I walked by without speaking.

Later when I got home, I felt so bad. I had just shunned one of my best friends on the day of his father's funeral. How low is that? Would Jesus have done that? From that day on, I swore to never shun someone just because they were DFd. Common decency and common sense has to take the place of religious dogma and fanaticism.

changeling

I mostly shuned them as I was taught. My best friend had children who would routinely get DF'd. I loved them like my own so every once in a while if I saw them them I'd give them a quick hug.

changeling

Dagney

I spoke to all the other family members and when I got to him I was at a loss as to what to do...so I walked by without speaking.

I had a similar experience that was a turning point for me while I was still a JW. I saw a sis who had been DF'd at an amusement park along with her very JW mom. I didn't know if she was in or out and I was with a group, and ai yi yi, got all in a dither. But bottom line, I didn't greet her and have felt bad about it ever since. I swore after that I would never shun a person and if I ever saw her again, I would at least tell her what I went through that day and apologize.

Generally, I always smiled and would say in the later years at the hall it was good to see them. At a funeral I spoke to a DF grandfather who's grandson had been been killed. I didn't care what the brother's said (it wasn't in my hall) and they just let it be.

llbh

As an attendendant i occasionally had cause to meet df people, I would always be polite to them, however I would not add to their difficulty by talking to much, they appreciated that I talked to them. A year ago I met a da sister on a Tuesday evening, in the supermarket, I began talking to her she looked amazed. I reminded her it was Tuesday and where I was not, ie meeting, We had a long chat I hoped it helped.. Now I talk to anyone, just like I always did pre wtbs

If there are any lurkers here I might be dfed if they know me just for making these admissions! I am not worried. Would not be here if I was. I think shunning is awful, immoral and unchristian.

llbh

LongHairGal

I never agreed with their stand on disfellowshipped people because I felt it was going too far. I also felt that nobody was going to legislate who I did and did not talk to.

I now realize the religion's reason for DF'ing people in some instances is because the religion doesn't want you to know if people are disfellowshipped because they found something wrong with the religion. They are protecting themselves by keeping everybody in ignorance of why people leave. They would rather you think people left because they committed 'fornication'.

I always tried to make eye contact with DF people. Sometimes they returned the look with an appreciative smile. Sometimes they looked away and didn't want to go against the dictates of the religion so they kept their eyes down.

LHG

R.F.

Since I played the Attendant role as well, I too talked to DFed ones. I was polite and courteous to them even when out in public. Some were amazed obviously that I did. I never could bring myself to completely ignore a person as if they're not alive because some group of men in Brooklyn said I should

R.F.

ESTEE

Hey, minimus, I'm the black sheep in my family, being df'd. Do elders talk to me? They gotta find me first!!!

ROFL!!!

ESTEE <-----of the "disappearing act" class

justhuman

I talked to them if they speak to me...

How Did You Personally Deal With Disfellowshipped Ones?

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