For those of you who don't go to meetings anymore...

by exwitless 62 Replies latest jw experiences

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  katiekitten

  Hi Superfine!

  If you havent been for about a year and your wife has stopped going also, it sounds as though the final step is more in your mind that in any action you have to take. It sounds to me like you have done an effective fade.

  I suppose if you wanted closure you could go back for one final meeting. After a year away you would probably be surprised at how mad virtually every sentence made you, and it would confirm that you couldnt stomach it anymore.

  Or were you wanting to make a more formal break? By sending them a Disassociation letter for instance? I found a good long fade was enough for me.
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  Superfine Apostate

  i did the fade more or less... it's a little funny, but just about everyone knows i'm an atheist. only my mom just dont get it. i haven't felt like a JW in years (been on this forum under the nick "googlemagoogle" if anyone remembers) and was very outspoken about it for a while, having discussions about the 607 fraud, the blood issue and what not. it always ended in a disaster, having my mom crying, my wife being upset about me making my mom cry and you know... i simply stopped talking about such topics. my mom is a pioneer now, i guess she thinks she could save me that way...
  
  if she's any happier with it, i'll go through the horrors of the memorial once a year.
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  sweet pea

  All I remember about my last meeting was struggling to restrain a lively 2 year old and thinking how hard it all was but I still believed it all hook, line and sinker!
  
  My belief system fell apart over the course of 3 days and I decided I could never go to another meeting again - it it was the truth it was worth the struggle, but if it wasn't there was no way I was going to put myself through that.
  
  SP
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  Quentin

  When I walked out the door of the last meeting I attended can't say "I knew" it would be my last. Did know my life had changed and would not be the same from that point forward.
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  monophonic

  oh, i remember that lame submarine illustration. very funny.

  it's amazing people actually believe that jws practice christian philosophy.
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  Priest73

  I honestly can't remember my last meeting. I think It may have been the memorial in '99, but I can't say for sure. sheesh.
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  oompa

  Superfine: luckily she now stopped going also. i don't know when i can make the final step (stop going to the memorials) though.

  I am really dreading the next memorial. I got a call last year from an elder wondering if I was coming because I had been speaking out against the practice and GC attending for years and was well into my unintentional fade. Unfortunately, my wife and son are still diehards, so I have not decided on any "last meeting." I went to a talk a couple a months ago because an old bud was giving the talk....if I can do that, why can't I seem to make myself go for my wife once in awhile? I had some great friends there, most of who probably think I am a flaming apostate now, but some not. I am starting to have some guilt for NEVER going, when I could probably tough it out for the fam and social aspect.........still want to wake many up......oompa

  almost scared to show up again since all elders leave me in peace now
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  DJK

  The last meeting I attended was the Thursday night MS. It was about two weeks after my 18th birthday and I'm asking myself, "Where are my balls, I've got to tell dad I'm not doing this anymore!" Wasn't sure if it was my last meeting until Sunday morning when I found the balls to tell him, "NO MORE!" from the opposite ends of a stairway where we couldn't see each other.

  To my surprise he said nothing and walked away. That, combined with no visual expressions, I don't know if he was angry, disappointed or more concerned with his status as an elder.

  We never had a father-son relationship. We were distant and the distance grew after that. I saw him twice this year, that equals the number of times I've seen him in ten years, and one thing was obvious, he doesn't know I'm an Atheist.
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  Mrs Smith

  The last memorial we attended I over heard one of the loving elder's wives saying "Oh, look at all the submarines here tonight. They pop up once a year for the memorial and think they going to make it into paradise. Why do they bother." So I thought yeah, why do I bother? This is a load of BS anyway. My hubby and I decided that we were no longer going to be submarines Excuse my english: What a fucking judgemental BITCH. Warlock

  	Oh, look at all the submarines here tonight. They pop up once a year for the memorial and think they going to make it into paradise. Why do they bother What a Class A cow. They are the ones that put tons of effort into hunting out everyone who has ever set foot in a KH and inviting them to the memorial in the first place. Why do THEY bother? To make them feel smug and saved?

  She did me favour. It was the first time I really understood that there was NO love among them and that I didn't have to feel guilty for not wanting to be there.

  I wish more of them would be so blatant about their feelings. Maybe more would leave sooner rather than later.
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  one of my last meetings my x had left and i was raising all 3 boys alone and it was getting pretty hard on me, you know how little boys can get, the twins were little and making noise, i had taken them to the back many times, finally they were quiet, and then much later an elder walked by and dropped a watchtower in my lap, i looked at it, it had underlined, and i read it , it was about not properly supervising your children, i was infuriated, i snapped, and took him outside, this during the meeting, another elder followed, i told him , if you are concerned enough to study a article for me to look at, you should offer to help me , with one of my 3 boys, and i read him 1 thess 4;11, and i said do you underatand the point im making?

  That is so typical of some of the elders. I have seen similar experiences. That was a really good response.