by breakingfree 44 Replies latest jw friends
Welcome to you, Breaking Free. A years worth of being on here and your breaking free should be near if not, already. Keep looking, keep knocking, keep sifting for the real truth, regardless for how desperate to yourself you may appear. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and in the Kingdom Hall, those minds are all closed.
Arthur
Hi breakingfree, welcome to JWD. It's good to see another Aussie thinking clearly!! Great that your husband feels the same way - that will make your life a lot easier.
I'm in a similar boat to you - I faded but still have family in. They are important to me, so I make sure I don't obviously do things that will cause them to shun me.
I started fading in the late 1980s but it's only about 6 years ago that I stopped going to meetings altogether. I had offers of a CO's visit several times and was usually able to evade the issue (ie I had "other commitments" whenever they wanted to drop in). One time an elder asked me if I would like a visit from the CO and I said straight out "no". I think the elder was stunned - he didn't know what to say and I had no repercussions from that.
The last time I had a "shepherding" visit (from two of the locals), I told them I had lost my faith. They asked me if I would like someone to study with me but I said no, I could study by myself. I've never received a visit or a phone call since. That was about 8 years ago - I went to the occasional meeting for another couple of years after that without being bothered by anyone.
Welcome BreakingFree
Hello!
Just wanted to say hi, I'm a newbie too, took me ages to pluck up the courage to actually post. I've been the same, lurking for ages and 'silently drawing strength from this site'
Destructo-girl
Welcome to you too, destructo-girl!! Glad you got the courage to post and hope to hear more from you.
Welcome breakingfree!
So glad you joined us! As I'm sure you have read, there are many, many here in the same boat as you; you are not alone. And most gratefully, you will find excellent advice from your "new brotherhood" when asked.
I am from the camp of "less is best" as regards any communication with the congregation or CO. I wasn't on JWD when I left, I didn't have my answers sorted out when I faded, and had to go on my instinct. I used personal health and circumstances, which were truthful, to successfully avoid confrontation. By laying low, it took a while for the news to reach relatives and friends which gave me the time to be sure of my decisions.
As far as the family is concerned, I've avoided all discussions of my new found truth. I put myself in their shoes and know I would defend the WBTS to the death if I was in that mindset. So I'm of the opinion that unless one is searching or questioning, it does no good. And I feel if they are questioning, they will be able to find what they need to start their journey on the "dreaded" internet.
Remember, anything you say cannot be taken back. And once it is relayed from person to person, through time, as will happen, it will not resemble anything you originally said in the first place. To my very best g/f who is in, I have said over and over to her "I have issues with the corporation, not the congregation." And she doesn't ask, and I don't tell unless I'm asked.
I wish you strength for the journey, and again, "welcome" to JWD.
Welcome BreakingFree and Destructo-Girl. Great to have you here.
WELCOME BREAKINGFREE
I know how what you mean about fuming at the meetings after you had found out what a sham it is. That's exactly what it was like for me, I had planned to fade gradually at first but was getting so stressed out at meetings so I stopped going altogether. I have just told my family JW's how I feel because I wanted to be honest and not live a lie, but many decide not to do this. It is a choice many on JWD are faced with.
Maddie
Welcome to the forum, Breaking Free, and Destructo Girl..Glad you found the courage to jump in.
Breaking Free, I too, would avoid the visit. And if you can't, I wouldn't say anything about being stumbled. I remember being told by an elder once, that a person cannot be stumbled, unless he's allowed himself to be....
I think it would just add to your frustrations, and you might end up spewing all you know, at once, before you are prepared to do so. But it's your call, of course.
We've all had to do our "exit", our way, the way that is in the best interests of our family. I wish you peace and best wishes.
Hi breakingfree and Destructo-girl.
Welcome to the land where sanity still reigns.
Glad to hear that y'all are free from the mind controlling tactics of the Watchtower Society.
Honesty
