Just another meeting - the lack of "occasion" and "grief" at JW funeral

by truthseeker 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  I recently attended the witness funeral of a sister who lost her mother.

  She lived to a good age.

  Most of the congregation were there.

  If the truth be told, it was one of the most disrespectful funerals I have ever been too. No one did anything wrong, but everyone was happy - a little too happy.

  It was just another meeting to the dubs who attended. There was little said about the life of the deceased. The rest was an infomercial for the resurrection hope.

  I've been to witness funerals before, but this had to be the worst one I've ever attended.

  I could tell who the non-witness attendees were - they were the ones who were quiet, reflective, somber.

  Almost every JW there was laughing, talking about things that had nothing to do with the deceased.

  There's nothing wrong with a little "association" and talk, but this was extreme. The noise was so loud, and there at the back in her casket lay the deceased.

  It was a wonder she didn't wake up and tell them to be quiet.

  I observed intently the expressions on the faces of them - there was a total absence of occasion, nothing indicated why they were there.

  A close friend of mine spoke to me privately and said "the sister should have someone go round and tell people to be quiet, to remember the purpose of why we're here."

  Jehovah's Witnesses learn, without realizing it, to be some of the most unnatural people in the world.

  The occasion passed too quickly and I thought to myself how transient these people are - death is just "sleeping", the resurrection "something to talk about."

  There's nothing wrong with hope, whatever our belief of the afterlife, but these people went too far.
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  zeroday

  I've been to a number of JW funerals and it has never ceased to amaze me how cold these people are. The elder giving the talk just goes to his file cabinet and pulls out the approved funeral talk...I"m sure he even counts his time as a public talk...
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  Quandry

  Zeroday

  Yes, the one giving the talk counts time. My husband used to give funeral talks. Most elders did not want to at all. My husband didn't either, but he was willing to do it for the family. When a member died that was young, or a pioneer, it was well attended and somewhat somber. If the person was not well known, well, it went as you describe. I remember wishing that there could be more of a focus on the one that died. It seemed as if other than a casket being there (unless the person had a memorial with no casket) there was hardly a thought of the deceased.
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  scotsman

  Well, the most dire funerals i've been to have been held by other faiths. A neighbour died recently and the family produced a card that had details of her life. the minster introduced the hymns then said that the card described her better then he ever could and gave us 5 mins to read it before closing. cold, unfeeling and without a sense of occasion? you bet ya!
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  Sunspot

  Jehovah's Witnesses learn, without realizing it, to be some of the most unnatural people in the world.

  JWs have been fed so much garbage and unreality that they have become desensitized to the feelings that most people experience.

  It shows.
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  Purza

  It was just another meeting to the dubs who attended. There was little said about the life of the deceased. The rest was an infomercial for the resurrection hope.

  I just saw an old friend who was raised as a JW, but faded when he graduated from high school (20+ years ago). Recently a family member died and they had the "memorial" just last week. I asked him about it and he got this look of disgust on his face and said all he heard was a bunch of bull sh*t -- very, very little about the deceased -- just what the deceased believed in. He said they must have looked up 50 scriptures in a time period of 45 minutes.

  Nothing has changed over the years -- and you are right truthseeker -- it is just another meeting. It is so very sad.

  Purza
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  Farkel

  : I've been to a number of JW funerals and it has never ceased to amaze me how cold these people are.

  Yet, nothing beats the insensitivity of Fred Franz who once started a funeral talk by enthusiastically shouting, "Aren't you all glad to be ALIVE?"

  Farkel
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  JK666

  Most Witness funerals that I have been to seem more like recruitment drives. It usually doesn't bring in non-believers. Most go away pissed.

  JK
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  Vinny

  I went to a JW funeral last Feb. The deceased was only 25. Died in a motorcyle accident. I went because he was my neighbor and was the only JW that did not shun me. He was a good kid, who just happened to be born a JW. His dad was a former PO before moving to another country. It was all he really knew.
  
  
  After the funeral, I vowed to avoid all JW funerals unless my own family.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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  Poztate

  I have a copy of the funeral talk outline. Very little is about the person. It instead focuses on the religious beliefs of the witlesses.

  No one is permitted to speak not even close family members. The agenda is totally controled by the elder giving the talk.

  I refused to go to one such talk just last week ever though I knew the deceased very well. The "memorial" was not about him.

  Review it for yourself...

  FUNERAL DISCOURSE

  REMARKS REGARDING THE DECEASED (Use any that apply and are appropriate.)

  Details regarding age, birth, when married, and so forth

  By whom the deceased is survived

  Dedication record, including privileges of service

  Exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Eccl. 7:1)

  THE HOPE THE DECEASED ENTERTAINED

  Worshiped Jehovah, the God of wisdom, justice, love, power

  Had faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12)

  Appreciated God's purpose regarding earth (Gen. 1:28)

  Sure to be realized (Isa. 11:9; 55:10, 11; Rev. 21:4)

  Why good people die

  Disobedience of Adam (-Gen. 3:19; contrast with Genesis 2:7.)

  Offspring inherited death (Rom. 5:12)

  Condition of the dead

  Soul is mortal (Ezek 18:4, 20)

  Dead are unconscious (Ps. 146:4; Eccl. 3:19; 9:5, 10)

  The resurrection hope

  Made possible by sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Matt. 20:28)

  Christ's resurrection a guarantee (1 Cor. 15:22, 23)

  God uses Jesus to raise the dead (John 5:28, 29)

  For the anointed, resurrection is to heavenly life (1 Cor. 15:51-54; Rev. 20:4, 6)

  "Other sheep" resurrected to life in earthly Paradise (Luke 23:43; John 10:16)

  Armageddon survivors can hope to see the deceased one again soon

  Others too are in line for resurrection (Ads 24:15)

  WHY IT IS GOOD TO GO TO HOUSE OF MOURNING

  Can comfort the bereaved; loss is mutual

  Take to heart uncertainty of life (Ps. 90:12; Eccl. 7:2)

  Makes us think about how we are using our life

  HOW WE CAN BENEFIT FROM BEING HERE

  While living, make good name with Jehovah God (Eccl. 7:1)

  Lay up treasures in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21)

  One way is to take zealous part in witness work, if qualified (Matt. 24:14; 28:19, 20)

  In this way and by godly conduct, we contribute to sanctification of Jehovah's name

  (Prov. 27:11)

  Resurrection hope an incentive to learn and do divine will(l Cor. 15:58)

  (Note: Instead of eulogizing the deceased, use the material in this outline to give a fine witness

  concerning the truth. Good balance should be observed in this regard. Doctrinal points can be

  presented as beliefs of the deceased, which served as motivation for him. Purpose of talk is to

  uphold Jehovah God as a God of love and mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the

  bereaved. Use of a song such as No. 102 (53) or 187 (93) is optional. A brief prayer at the close

  is fitting When arrangement is made to go to the grave, it is well to consider quite briefly the

  hope through the Kingdom, reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and

  1 Corinthians 15:5413-57. This service may also be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for

  the resurrection hope, which is of great comfort. The talk need not exceed 30 minutes.)