Post YOUR future Watchtower Qoutes 2050 and beyond!

Witness 007

Watchtower 2055 Feb 1st "Theodore Jarcz the last member of the anionted died today when his robotic heart and kidneys gave out, he was 130 years old."

Watchtower 2060 Feb 1st "The faithful Great Crowd Class has through careful study found that "This Generation" refers not to the annionted but to the "Pepsi Generation" who will not die out before Armegedon."

Watchtower 2090 Feb 1st "This Generation refers to the Robotic Generation of 2040 which will not power down till the Great Tribulation arrives."

Watchtower 2300 Feb 1st "Cybernetic robot implants are not for true Christians....publisher figures finally reach 8 million."

Watchtower 2301 Feb 1st "Cybernetic robot implants are a conscience matter, it is up to each individual to decide."

Watchtower 2400 Feb 1st " The first Cyborg member of the Governing body was appointed today. 7 of 9 has been pioneering 24/7 for 200 years. "

Watchtower 3560 Feb 1st "Armagedon is very close, it won't be long now...really, honestly Brothers."

serotonin_wraith

Watchtower Press Release - 17 November, 2207

During the last 300 years, only eleven elders have been sued for child abuse in thirteen lawsuits filed in the United States.

Watchtower Jan 1, 2158

We now understand Jesus came invisibly in 2114 to set up his Kingdom.

Watchtower Jun 2, 2053

Arranging contributions to the world wide work with Direct Debit.

Questions from readers - Dec 6, 2067

How do window washers cope with the new self cleaning windows now widely available?

New Assembly Release - 28 Jul, 2147

Download the New New New New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures for the iPhone Ultra 7472.

Young People Ask (Updated Edition for 2136) -

Are Flying Cars Acceptable Forms of Transport for Witnesses?

How do I survive in a world which is 94% atheist?

Why must young witnesses have Watchtower tracking chips implanted in their brain?

Why must every witness child be homeschooled?

Watchtower Apr 3, 2999

Elvis Died For Our Sins - How Much Do You Appreciate His Sacrifice?

shopaholic

Watchtower Jun 2, 2053
Arranging contributions to the world wide work with Direct Debit.

Isn't this available now? I'm sure it is...I think this has been around for several months already.

carla

2050 The end is near. All non jw's are evil and will perish.

2090 The end is near. All non jw's are evil and will perish.

3000 The end is near. All non jw's are evil and will perish.

metaspy

Watchtower 2050: Governing body decides to release two watchtower/awake mags a year! (one for public one for study)

Watchtower 2070: Increasing placements and donations by using violence - a 3 article series.

edmond dantes

Watchtower feb 31st 2050 (we now know that february has 31 days due to the fact that we now know Eve was born before Adam and by calculating how long it took Air Sea Rescue to reach Noah after he beached the Ark.

Watchtower March 2050 LIMITED EDITION .

The new publication to replace the Awake which will be called New Light .As a special thank you to Jehovah who has bestowed many years of blessings on us by keeping us here in Bethel, warm, well fed and not having to worry too much about looking for gainfull employment we are pleased to announce that it will be printed in a special in house mix of glow in the dark paint which will benefit many of our brothers and sisters who are still in the dark.

Watchtower April 2050 Hoypoyloy edition.Because it took Noah longer than expected to weigh the anchor after dropping it on his foot, the figure of forty days and forty nights is slightly off the mark when we come to calculate how long we have been living in these the very, very, very to the power of ten last days.

hubert

March 5, 2050 New parking garage dedication tomorrow.

Used to be the HQ of the now defunct Watchtower Society Book Publishing Company.

(Not exactly a Watchtower quote, but I'd like to see it, anyway. Well, I'll be 109 years old then. Don't think I'll quite make it).

Hubert

Witness 007

Watchtower 2050 Feb 1st "We find no biblical reason to ban Birthdays. We are really, really, really, sorry kids. Jehovah aprieciates your efforts.....also Gambling is not mentioned in the bible it is a conscience matter."

edmond dantes

watchtower may2050.

Do you resemble the Nellie the Elephant class ?and how to recognise when you belong to it.

Did Noah really have trouble with Nellie the Elephant ? When Noah opened the Ark door did Nellie really trundle off to the circus and did she stumble the other animals with her trumperty trump for forty nights? When she packed her bags what did she leave behind in the Ark which took Noah another forty days and nights to shift?

Watchtower July2050 .Why you need to order extra crackers and wine at the next memorial ? Do you wonder why the number of partakers have shot through the roof and were always afraid to ask?

Watchtower August 2050. Do you EVER ASK WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO the Generation that saw 1914 and will millions now living never believe a word we say?

Witness 007

Watchtower 2075 July 1st "Some may wonder why the memorial partakers has risen to 145,000. One Brother in Germany asked: "What the hell is going on?" We however rely on Jehovah, and realize that these are replacements for the replacement annionted who are unfaithful and lose faith. The other 1,000 are replacement, replacement, replacement annionted or spares as we call them at Bethel."

Post YOUR future Watchtower Qoutes 2050 and beyond!

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