This is my prediction for 2065: 
Post YOUR future Watchtower Qoutes 2050 and beyond!
by Witness 007 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Mastodon
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calico
Watchtower 2075 July 1st "Some may wonder why the memorial partakers has risen to 145,000. One Brother in Germany asked: "What the hell is going on?" We however rely on Jehovah, and realize that these are replacements for the replacement annionted who are unfaithful and lose faith. The other 1,000 are replacement, replacement, replacement annionted or spares as we call them at Bethel."
SO FUNNY!
In the future the light will have gotton SO bright that you won't be able to read those mags!
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outofthebox
2075 - Granpa, what was a Jehovah Witness?
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memario
YES FINALLY!!!!
Damn it, it fell off!
mem
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Abandoned
2145: The Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses announced that Time Travel is not right for true Christians. Addressing the topic from the podium, Governing Body member and used mechanical heart salesman, Teddy Jaracz the fourth, reminded audience members that the Governing Body has set the right example by not going back and time to try and cover over the almost three hundred years of embarrassing errors. "We are staying with lies and double-speak, and we expect those who are true Christians to do so as well." To prove his point, Teddy then went on to deny the well-documented rumor that his great grandfather was a result of an unholy tryst between former Governing Body memeber, Theodore Jaracz and Brittany Spears. "Oops! I did it again," he was heard muttering as he left the podium.
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PEC
Watchtower 2008 July 3rd, The GB says "We were wrong about everything." The GB had determined that the true religion is Scientology, all assets will be sold and donations forwarded to Tom Cruise. Philip
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Witness 007
Watchtower 2089 Feb 1st "Millions now living will never die......due to bionic implants and technology. However for the "meek" or poor people who can't afford it, God's kingdom still offers everlasting life for Free!! Just spend hundreds of hours in field service, meetings, and study. {Legal disclaimer: Those you die during this time will have to wait till after Armegedon to be brought back to life. No refunds of hours or legal promises in writting are offered by the Watchtower Society Inc. Disfellowshiped people and Apostates need not apply}"
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willyloman
March 1, 2078 (Our Kingdom Ministry, p. 4) Letting Your Light Shine at District Conventions
What will you be doing over the weekend of July 2-4? Like most true Christians, you will no doubt be in attendance at the 'Letting Your Light Shine' worldwide District Convention being held this year in Atlanta, GA, USA. Jehovah's blessings were certainly evident when officials there allowed us the use of the football stadium, which will seat all 79,456 living members of the International Brotherhood of Annointed Followers of Jehovah, the official name for our little group, which was adopted four years ago at our last large convention. Our former associates in foreign lands will attend their own conventions, as arranged by their various splinter groups. The U.S. branch bears no responsibility for these apostates.
We have no doubt that every single one of our brothers will make the necessary sacrifice to be from the opening song to the final prayer. Those who fail to attend will be marked accordingly, their families shot and their homes burned to the ground. Of course, such dire spiritual warnings are not directed towards those who are truly faithful to "Mother."
As for rooming, please be advised that the Fig Tree Condominiums being "quickly-built" in an Atlanta suburb are nearing completion and will be ready for occupancy by the time the convention opens on July 2. If you have not sent in your deposit and filled out your loan application, please do so without further delay.