District Assemblies Not All They are Cracked Up to Be

by WTWizard 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    You hear about them for so long. The Grand Boasting Session is supposed to be the biggie. There is so much hype about the motels that are on the list, which will come out right around Jan 1. You are supposed to call ahead, and usually people get busy signals and full motels. Then the phone bill comes, and it's inflated with all these calls. Then they post updated lists, forcing people to place 20 or more completed calls and maybe 40 or 50 attempted calls that ended with a busy signal.

    Then, there is the maze of rules. The May Kingdumb Misery always has a part about planning your vacation around the damn thing. They have ground rules against going to motels not on the list, horseplay or other abuse in the motels, and milling around at the program. Then there is the ordering of parking tickets and badges. They will tell you to wear your badge at all times.

    Then it comes. Three days of hearing the same crap every year. From what I saw posted here, nothing really changed. They pass a resolution to crack down on entertainment one year, they crack down on college and the Internet the next, crap about them apostates, avoiding worldly associations that could lead to fornication, cutting back on work and other more meaningful pursuits so you can do more field circus, the faked experiences about the "joy" of it all, and the likes. Children get spanked for not sitting still through it or for needing to pee or get some water, or when they get hungry. Candy machines are roped off limits. Signs tell you every little thing to do at all times. What a fxxxing letdown!

    I can remember one particular a$$embly, the Grand Boasting Session after the one I got baptized. We had to travel about 100 miles each way. And, I had a roommate that liked it hot while I liked it freezing cold (it's summer). I got stuck guarding a contribution box (unfortunately it was before those nice Zero Dollar Bills and Void Checks came out). The sisters treated me like I was disfellowshipped despite that it was blatantly obvious that I was assigned to guarding a Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund box and that other men were not shunning me. The program was almost identical to the one from the previous year, and the releases were wimpy. The eateries in the city were also wimpy (Domino's Pizza delivers).

    That was a total waste. As for the benefits, independent of the costs, just about every major field trip exceeded it. As did every Christmas celebration I have ever had, every birthday party, and about half the trips to visit friends as a child (the other half were either boring because they were elderly people with no provisions for children or obnoxious). I have had camping trips that were more exciting than that Grand Boasting Session. Cripes, I have been to an arcade and spent all of $2, and had more fun there than at that damn a$$embly! I have even had times when I would go out in the woods in our own backyard and have more fun climbing trees than that wastefest.

    The fact is, that wastefest was totally drab. There was absolutely no fun. I was rejected by the sisters despite guarding one of the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund boxes. There was no tour of the city. There was no TV watching at the motel. There was absolutely nothing going on that was worth the price. And, to top it off, I learned absolutely nothing. (And that was back in the late 1980s, not recently!) And, from what I have seen posted on this forum, those wastefests have gone from bad to even worse. Back then, they didn't have candy machines blocked off, they didn't have signs directing every movement of the people, and they didn't ban people from leaving the building during lunch time (they did, however, want people to support the arrangement and not go to McDonalds for lunch in lieu of getting a bagged lunch).

    I think next time I will just skip the whole wastefest and go visit the museum or spend some time online. Or, in lieu of the arcades that are now missing, I will hook up my Xbox with some classic video games and play some early '80s music. At least that way I will have more fun than at the wastefest. Cheaper, too.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    The anticipation makes the actual event a real let-down.

    For 2007, I finally thoroughly enjoyed the District Convention because I never went inside.
    Ours was in Stanley Theater, NJ for foreign-language conventions. It was a nice hotel with
    an indoor pool. I left in the morning with the wife, but she got off the train at Jersey City and
    I went into Manhattan everyday. I saw the city (something you commented on missing out
    on) and I met some nice ex-JW's from JWD. Afterward, I would be back at the hotel before
    Mrs. OTWO relaxing from a hard day of sightseeing. My feet were tired, but her butt and
    mind were tired.

    The wife had to muster up all the enthusiasm she could fake to say that the program was
    great. When I asked questions, she had paid enough attention to answer the questions, but
    you could tell it was just the same-old-tired-program with the same-old-tired-information.

    So the most exciting part of the 2008 conventions is coming in a month- finding out the dates
    and the theme, calling hotels and planning to get away for a weekend. So by the time of the
    Kingdom Ministry reminders, the JW's will be thinking about eating in restaurants and the kids
    will be thinking about swimming in pools at hotels, which will carry some excitement up to the
    event, but then they will be just as disappointed as last year by the carrying of coolers and
    sitting still all day in their monkey suits, listening to how "imminent" the time is before the end,
    hearing how some crippled grandmother raised 12 children, 4 used to work at Bethel, and 5 are
    pioneers married to elders whose own children have finished high school despite pressures to
    date and are now pioneers, themselves.

  • saywhat29
    saywhat29

    LOL! I love how they told people to pack lunches instead of going out to get something to eat- and more than that I Loved that NOBODY EFFING LISTENED!

    Like everybody was down at Quizno's the last time I went and I really didn't care because I was hungry, and hell so were they. Matter of fact, I liked more than anything just getting "sick" and then leaving to explore the area a bit. I mean, yeah you can get mugged, raped, and killed, and nobody would know how to find you but-

    I'd rather do that then listen for hours on end. And god, I hate it that people don't respect the fact that people get sleepy and cannot listen to that crap for hous on end. I need like an hour to nodd off every damn ay during a talk antd not feel guilty about it. No I don't feel like taking notes because every note I take while tired just comes out to be scribble scrabble when I go back to read it so its pointless.

    Lead a man nod off goddamnit, I came and that should be enough!

    (/rant)

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Hey, my best District Convention while I was a full believer:

    I had scratched my cornea, and the doctor gave me medicine that
    kept my pupil dilated for a couple of weeks. So any amount of light
    bright enough to read by was unbearable without dark sunglasses.

    The district convention was indoors, and I was sitting there with the
    darkest of sunglasses on. They were not the style that clearly identified
    you as having a problem with your eyes, but were more ordinary looking.
    People looked at me and just assumed I was either blind or wanted to
    nap in my chair without being noticed. I did nap a little, but it had to be
    lightly so I wouldn't actually nod my head. That constant applause at
    some points made by the speakers (Aren't you happy that Jehovah is
    doing ..., Doesn't your heart rejoice that..., Isn't it wonderful to be here
    with Jehovah's people...) kept me from going into deep sleep.

  • VM44
    VM44

    District Conventions are a waste of time and money! Don't go to them!

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    1969...southern California...

    The Dramas are the highlight of the upcoming convention, and my dad is in one and building props for another. He's built a comical, huge (14 inches long, 3 inches thick) "cigar" (watch it...!) that lights up and blows "smoke" - it's ingenious! And he's playing the part of some OT believer, and builds this 7 foot long javelin that he'll carry on stage.

    It was brilliant theater - the costumes of whatever vignette they were doing in olden times, my dad running on stage with his spear in an orange toga-thing...for a 9 year old this was magic!

    I loved those dramas they did back then. Saturday night was something to look forward to among the snoozefest of how special we are to know Jehober. How wonderful it is to see these young pioneers, choosing a life of misery...er, ministry. Every example person I knew was so certain and blessed looking on stage - and such a total wreck in person.

    Do they do dramas any more? I remember after that '69 there was a concern about the pageantry of period pieces taking away from the message, adn the cost of costumes and all (what cost? My dad paid for everything he used as did everyone else) - but it certianly made things more interesting!

  • carla
    carla

    hahahaha, funny stories! When are the Christmas dc's? All I know is there is usually one around here to coincide with Christmas and attempt to mess up my holiday! but we don't let it and carry on as usual. When he has missed the regular family traditions he has celebrated for over 40 yrs of his life we just pretend we didn't notice he was even gone.

    The bag lunches, ha, I find that particularily amusing. My jw has rarely ever made a bag lunch in his life, then up comes a dc and there he is trying to find lunch stuff. Gosh darn if that isn't the very day we are out of lunchmeat and he found a brand new rarely bought box of Lucky Charms for breakfast. He goes on his merry way with a full belly of Lucky Charms and a pb & j sandwich which he considers kindergarten food to go and fill up at his satanic food at the proper time dc.

  • nomoreguilt
    nomoreguilt

    At the sight where our District bore sessions were held, they had the convenience of being able to listen to the entire sessions on an FM radio frequency. Plug in your earphones to a radio for hearing impaired. So, my dear buddie, ex jw now, and his family, would take a small motor home and sit in the parking lot. They were more comfortable with this arrangement as they had a daughter with physical problems and just made it easier. The best part of it all.........We could sit and drink beer and yuk it up. I would tell my ex I was going to sit with them awhile during the lunch break until she found out what we were really doing. He and I are still the good ole boys we used to be. Lots of beer, fishing, shooting guns, and yukking it up about all the poor fools still under the spell.

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    He goes on his merry way with a full belly of Lucky Charms and a pb & j sandwich which he considers kindergarten food to go and fill up at his satanic food at the proper time dc

    Too funny!!! Every time my baby girl goes, she comes home in a bad mood. I can sympathize because I used to feel the same way.

    The long drive, the heat, the noise, the smells - these all combined to give me a sick headache that lasted for days. I'm glad I quit qoing.

    Sylvia

  • nomoreguilt
    nomoreguilt

    I forgot about the headache, thanks alot

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