District Assemblies Not All They are Cracked Up to Be

by WTWizard 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  TD

  The one thing about District Assemblies that always stood out and puzzled me was the expense report / accounting summary (Not sure exactly what it's called)

  The speaker would list the expenses (Facility rental / fees, etc.) including a sizable contribution to the "World Wide Work"

  Next the speaker would list the receipts. (Contributions)

  The receipts would invariably fall short of the expenses and the speaker would conclude, "So brothers, this leaves us with a deficit of _______ (Fill in the blank)

  Many times the "Deficit" would actually be smaller than the "voluntary" contribution.

  WTF? -- I would think. (Once I whispered to my wife, "If they just cut back on the contribution, they'll be fine. --She jabbed me in the ribs with here elbow -LOL)

  Why would anyone contribute money they didn't have? Why would this contribution be listed as an expense? Why would the same persons that deliberately created this "Deficit" try to guilt the audience into coughing up the money to "Fix" it?

  The only conclusion I could see is that the district conventions serve little purpose aside from being money-making events for the JW parent organizations
• 

  shell69

  All of the above,

  and sitting and feeling so empty.

  Shell
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  95stormfront

  I pointed out this accounting fallacy to my wife during a recent assembly in Texas rosenburg. When they read the accounts, they had a $4000 surplus from last year, They announced expenses of about $19000 for a venue that's supposedly already paid for, donations of $8000. Then they proclaimed that they had an $11000 deficit and thanked everyone for their support. There was a collective ghast from the audience. I simply looked at my wife and proclaimed loudly enough for everyone to hear that their numbers weren't adding up. All I got for my troubles was that it was likely that the brother made a mistake and that it would be corrected.
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  B_Deserter

  My favorite parts of the conventions:
  
  

  • The skit where the overacting teenage brother tells his school chums that he can't go to their evil Satanic party
  • The Circuit Overseer that so desperately wants to be remembered shouts the ADVERTISE!! ADVERTISE!! ADVERTISE!! line with full volume and gusto
  • The talk about keeping "awake" that the speaker will inevitably begin by shouting "WAKE UP!" in the microphone
  • The speaker who tells a story relating to children and the rhetorical child's name is always, always Johnny
  • The talk with an illustration that sounds like a fictional example until the speaker reveals..."I was that man"
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  shell69

  B deserter.

  LOL. very sharp, I can almost hear it!

  Shell
• 

  bluesbreaker59

  B. Deserter,

  I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, gosh that brings back some nasty memories.

  I really, really, REALLY, hated those guest speakers from Bethel who would get on the mic, and inevitably, the volume, bass and reverb were always turned WAY UP for them, and then they would shout into the mic their whole talk!!!!
• 

  Dorktacular

  I remember assemblies at the Stanley Theater in Jersey City. It is such a beautiful building. I just wish it was being used for something interesting. Do they just use it for foriegn language assemblies now? Anyway.... we had a lot of outdoor assemblies when I was a kid. Either at Yankee Stadium or the Meadowlands or Veteran's Stadium in Philthadelphia. It was always such a joy sitting in the hot summer sun, in a suit, as a kid for hours and hours on end with nothing to drink for three or four days. There was always the added treat of a quick thunderstorn that got you wet, but also made it unbearably humid. Being really fair-skinned didn't help, either. So, I always had a massive headache and sunburn, and usually a sore ass from getting spanked for not sitting still through the whole thing. Oh, the memories. That was summer vacation, folks. Nope, no Disney Land for us! Ha ha ha. I will never, ever, ever put my child through that crap. Sorry. If all the families that waste all that time and money at assemblies could get that time and money back, their lives would be so much better.
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  allreadygone

  MILLIONS NOW LIVING WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!! Now there is a convention that did not live up to its billing!!! But at least the poor saps were not board stiff like we have been at todays A$$EMBLIES.
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  95stormfront

  MILLIONS NOW LIVING WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!! Now there is a convention that did not live up to its billing!!! But at least the poor saps were not board stiff like we have been at todays A$$EMBLIES.

  One thing for sure though.......a large portion of the poor saps there who feasted on that garbage are dead.
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  dawg

  I remember being 17 years old, a stiff breeze would give me a boner... We had only two gals that were half worth looking at at our hall, the assemblies were the place to find hotties... I didn't give one sam hell what was going on stage, I was looking for a mate.

  To think,I was real pouplar in High School, the ladies loved those red locks of mine.... I could have learned about women if I could have only had some to freaking date... I loved the freaking assemblies... not the programs; but the ladies. Ha!