Some kind of nervous breakdown?

freedomfighter

Hi guys and gals. I have been disfellowshipped for 2 months now and i feel so alone.I took the red pill and reality has hit me smack in the mouth. I go through all types of emotions - stronger than i've ever felt before e.g Anger,sadness,Elation,freedom,feeling super strong,feeling super weak etc. I'm sure you have been through this before.

Today, i feel suicidal and i don't know what to believe anymore..... I do know organised religion is not for me.

I was raised as a JW and have been waiting for the paradise since i was young. What an awesome place that would be!

I am now 35yrs old and have done alot of research on the JW's to see if it is true.I found way too many flaws in their beliefs. I cannot accept how they can turn their "Love" on and off at will. They think they are doing this for Jehovah. But are they correct? They only do as they are told. Who is telling them? Who is running The Governing Body? Jehovah? Jesus? Satan? or just Men?

Today is a tough one but i'll get through. Thanks for reading my post.

Sincerely FF

What-A-Coincidence

it's a process...you have time on your side...things will get better..remember this quote "this too shall pass" ...repeat that quote throughout the day...let it be your mantra

if you want to IM chat ... here is my location: dr.wac at hotmail dot com

Happy Harvester

Get to a counsellor about the suicidal thoughts right away. Your ups and downs could be a brain chemistry issue that is fairly easy to treat (depression, or such). It is just like any other illness - treat it and be healthier - ignore it and you may die. We are here for you, but we are not a substitute for effective medical care. I am glad to hear you know you'll get through this. This too shall pass. But it will come back if you don't treat it, so be good to yourself and be sure to tell a doctor about your ups AND your downs! Good luck with getting out of the Jehobo mind set. It can be done. Hugs!

mouthy

Oh my darling I know exactly how your feeling I went through it when I was "ousted"

But do remember ONE thing ...There is nothing wrong with you except you have found out you have been decieved ..We all on here have found that out. Please do as someone said get a DR to give you a counsellor //EXplain you were raised in a cult & just found out.
It is a terible place to be. But Believe me YOU WILL laugh about it down the road. Maybe it will take time ........Mine was two years.... But I thought I was the only one D/F I didnt know there were others out there.Nothing like a thread like this. It was in 1987.... But NOW I have never been so happy. So much so that I think of sending "THANK YOU " cards to those who D/F me.
I am known as Granny & you know what a pain in the neck they are BOSSY!!!! so I am going to do this.
" Dear Father in Heaven Creator of the Heaven & earth ,our sister here is having a hard time. because she has come to the end of the tunnell & is beginning to see the light. I ask you to send the Holy Spirit to guide ,lead, & direct her. Let her KNOW in her heart & mind that she is doing nothing wrong to THINK independently,Let her know you are there .... I ask it in the name above ALL others JESUS Amen"

God bless my love keep on the site >Here they are a wonderful family of Unconditional love (hug)

somebody

(((((((freedomfighter)))))

I don't know what the little red pill is. But it sounds to me like an anxiety attack. Trying to cope with reality can cause that and it can last for a long time, some days worse than others. You are thinking and asking yourself questions and JWs are trained to turn off those thoughts and questions immediately when they enter the mind, by other thoughts such as " What? You think you know more than the Society? You are dounbting? Satan is trying to steer you away from God's organization!!! Don't let him!!!"

What you are experienceing is normal for those being involved in the JW sect, for both who have left on their own accord, and who have been df'd from and by those who are members of the JW organization/sect/group.

If you go to a doctor, and be totaly honest as you have been here about what you are feeling and what's going through your mind, he or she can give you better advice than I can. I know it's very hard to be honest to another person standing right in front of you, becasue we've been taught to think such thoughts is a sign of weakness, but the fact is is that it takes STRENGTH to do such a thing.

I personally think it's an anxiety attack. If you should happen to feel as if you are struggling to breath or that you may pass out, then FOR SURE it is anxiety/panic. And that CAN be helped and treated. Even for those who do not wish to take meds, there is still treatment and help.

I would not worry to much, because your thoughts, and all the feelings changing back and forth from frustration, anger, sadness, and even fear, are completely normal with the thougths and questions you've been asking yourself. It just shows that you are slowly but surely facing reality, rather than living in a fantasy land. And it gets easier as time passes, from my experience.

I'll keep you in my thougths!!!

peace,

gwen

Homerovah the Almighty

Yes I would have to agree with the other posters if your going through with this much depression with just leaving the WTS.

some quiet therapy sessions with a therapist might help alleviate some of your emotional distress.

It has to be noted that when a person has associated themselves with a religion like this for a very long time

it's not easy just to walk away without any emotion trauma.

If you have spent much time reading other people's posts you can tell right away that folks that have just left are a bit stressed out with complications.

It does take some time and perseverance to find yourself and bring yourself back to a state of emotional happiness but it will come and in the end you'll

be glad you did.

Just calm down take a long walk if you can and put yourself in a state of relaxation......this is important.

Chart out a new direction for your self, and make sure that it's truthful, honest and wholesome path to take.

Your agenda now is to stay on course for your benefit and well being, both concerning your health and emotional happiness.

Many ex- jws if not all have eventually reached that goal and so can you.

One thing you can do is since you have a computer and inter-net access is continue on posting comments on the forum,

you'll find it quite therapeutic for yourself and it's a good thing to do. Keep in mind there are allot folks that post here that have the same problems that

your going through so it is possible to relate to one another and there is a good group of people here to help you out for sure.

So put up your feet and relax and hang around for awhile........it's a good thing

Take care Homerovah

Abandoned

Do you still feel suicidal? If you do, remember that those feelings can change. Take the time to talk to someone who understands depression and suicidal feelings so that you don't make a permanent decision based on your pain. Check out www.hopeline.com for coping resources. Give 1-800-SUICIDE a call if you need to talk to someone.

Many people have been through some horrible, horrible situations and found a way to cope and reasons to be glad they did. I hope you do too. ((((((((((freedomfighter))))))))))

R.Crusoe

FF - it is good to hear you are thinking for yourself! The feeling of not knowing what to believe may stay with you for years! It has for me! I do know how to believe though. And it helped me make one or two beliefs for myself. That at death I will meet my maker or I will not! And that no other person on Earth can change that! Of this I am certain! And so from now on, anything I let rest in my soul will only be let in when I am certain - wherever it is from. And I will not limit myself as to where I gather materials to build or reject for my own belief. It is mine and mine alone! So whatever I allow in from now on will be on this basis - like starting over and whatever I throw out I will choose! Except it takes some time to clear all the material I don't want that I already let in so easily. But if my maker is watching He will know this and give me some space in which to do it! He will nod His head at me for what I just wrote! And if He does not exist the He will understand why I found it so hard to believe in Him because He chose not to chat with me about it till I die. If I believe or do not - it is coool with Him otherwise he would have blown my ass away already! Anybody think otherwise - that's your opinion and you can keep it for yourself coz I'm takin my bike and leavin you on the bus! It's between ME n' HIM!

oompa

Freefight: and have done alot of research on the JW's to see if it is true.I found way too many flaws in their beliefs.

Welcome to the sanity place....you are about ten years better off than me. Visit here often and you will will heal quicker. I hate to tell you this, but I am about ten years older than you, raised in the truth, and am still having a difficult time accecpting the real truth................................oompa

monophonic

welcome freedom fighter.

if your suicide impulse is strong, call a suicide hotline and talk with a counselor. there's hope. you're at the beginning of the process and it's great that you found this forum and posted to it.

i've had suicidal thoughts myself and came very close in my 20's. it's important to get help and know things get better.

if you're not in therapy, consider finding a therapist who can help you through the transition and this forum is great. it's not a substitute for therapy, but it's therapeutic.

hugs,
monophonic

Some kind of nervous breakdown?

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