by freedomfighter 17 Replies latest watchtower bible
Thanku all for your advice and kind words.
I am in the process of talking to a counsellor. But it won't be until next week.
It is good to chat on this forum.It is helping to get everything out - 35yrs of twisted thinking.
I won't take my own life. I'm just struggling and i know i'll make it.
Thanx again
FF
Hey Freedomfighter, hang in there, you've just come off a very powerful "religious drug" and it's no wonder you've hit a low point..we are all ex-addicts here so hang-in there it gets better....as Aussies we need to stick together and fight it out Matey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on Aussie, come on!! - I hope that is inspirational!
It's a feeling you hoped you'd be able to leave behind by now! It's bad to know how powerful it is and realize how long it's gonna take to overcome all you feel when your at the age your at! I'm 10 years on from you! If I was your age I'd get an ipod and join a gymn with the idea that I'm gonna workout each day and build up more depending on how I feel. Even if it means 10 mins sometimes - just getting in the habit is the key! By next Cmas you'll have one more routine you didn't have this Chmas. Thats' the sorta thing I should do now but I feel embarrassed about going coz I feel bad about myself! And then the feeling bad has me thinking 'What's the point?' And this same circular reasoning is in other areas of my life - if not all areas. It's this sort of reasoning that ensnares some of us. It's the same circular reasoning that has many relying on Religion to lead the way. Doing it your own way is like starting as a teenager when your 35 and everyone else has had 20 yrs experience. And often it's like fighting your own embarrassment. If I can walk into a situation with the blushes there's no guarantee I'll leave without them - but at least I've walked the walk. Doing it again & again will lead you to the odd time when you walk out feeling better and eventually not at all. This is the road! Just looking for the odd sparkle of an object along the way is about where its at right now. Like Churchill once said, 'When you find you've walked into a living hell, don't stop, keep going!' And if we meet I'll have a coffee with you on the other side!
Believe in yourself....you got yourself into the borg, and you got yourself out..live what you believe, worship has always been an individual act, what you know, what you believe, is right for you, and you alone. Be through all that, tasted the steel of my 357, but knew that others ideas and beliefs drove those insane thoughts. Keep learning who you are and where you fit in with Gods plan, we are many shaped plegs and there is a holw shaped just for you.
Some day I'll learn to spell
FF- The sun will shine - let it shine. No man can take your soul. No group of men can take your soul. These are ignorant and irresponsible men who put a heavy burden on you, they can't/won't carry. You can take off that burden. NOW! They are wrong. Leave their thinking alone. It is wrong. You are set free. Be Free! Take a deep breath, and repeat after me, "I am finally free." Take a long hard cry, forget the KH days, and then another deep breath, smile, see the sun shine, and go on with YOUR LIFE. The prison door has been opened, take advantage of the freedom.
You are still very young, althought I'm sure you don't think so. I was 50 when we left! We had raised our children in the JW's, and I was raised in it. Nearly our entire family were active witnesses. Not now!!
Be patient with people and especially with yourself. It's a grieving process and you go through all the stages as if a major death had affected you. This forum will help immensly. It was my therapy.
Try to meet some other ex JW's and make new friends. That is a major thing.
Most people here understand what you are going through. You need to talk. Your ups and downs are totally understandable, after breaking up w the 'mother' religion. That religion gets so deep into us, that getting out is very traumatic. Although it feels that way, i don't think that you are having a nervous breakdown. You are stronger than you think. Keep breathing, and the ups and down will slowly get less.
S
