Many of you will be happy to hear that this is my departure from this forum for awhile... I need to wean myself off it, get in shape and record my album... I'll post a link when it comes out.
THat said, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
I've had fun here on this site, almost all of you to a person are intelligent and well meaning...
I remember as a youth, I was a hard core JW, mostly becasue I thought I was doing what was right; as time went on and things didn't add up, I started doing as the Bible tells me to do in 1 Thess. I started making sure of all things. I found that all wasn't right (to say the freaking least) in the JWs, the very thing I'd been taught was holy. I couldn't live with that, so I bailed out and went on my way.. I was given a scholarship in Drama at age 34, and I sold all that I had, house and all and went away to college to escape the fools. But deep in my heart I felt that what I was doing wasn't right, just fading without saying much. I was never disfellowshipped, but I told my parents and all my family that I would never go back... they let it pass for a while, didn't invite me over, but did call me on the phone and say hi-they'd also give me the obligatory visit about once every year or so. We were very close before/I mean very close.. my Dad was uber elder and my family is a very respected family in the JW community.
So years went by; I have always had really bad emotional problems, mostly depression and the like. I think its been mostly becasue all my family and former friends went from huging my neck one day to not talking to me hardly at all the next. I've always sucked at really intense personal relationships, but not friendships, my friends are numerous and loving; but my "lovers" as I guess they should be called, had the worst time with me.... I never cheated but I wasn't there for them sometimes when they needed it, we all know how the ladies need attention... sorry ladies but it's true.
As an ex-JW, I've had some of the same expierences as many of you; I've had loved ones die, I've been sick both mentally and physically, depression, lonelyness, sucide thoughts, money problems, and on and on and on... we all have that...since I've been here, I've seen heros that have been through much worse, molestations, physical abuse by spouses, abusive elders...the gaulnet runs long in this destructive cult....We are like the rest of the world just that we also carry this bagage of having much of our lives almost ruined by this cult.
Now, back to the young boy that I once was, I know many of you can relate to this story, the youngster with the pure heart that is trying to do what's right, trying to please God and do good towards his fellow man. My intention on this forum was to get folks active about ending this cult, I had these intentions becasue I thought the internet might be causing many to research the cult and find things out that may make them take a stand... I hoped this becasue I truly didn't want anyone to suffer the things I've seen many of you suffer-including myself. I want to appoligize to all of you whom I have offended here and take the time to say that many of my posts have been wrong/misguided, but my intentions were never... I just keep thinking about those like my nephew, baptised a slave to the fools at age 13... I want that shit to end! He's a freaking kid and you can bet your ass that he knows nothing about their dubious deeds. That said, I've read what many of you have to say, and some ofyou are going through a lot worse than what I'm going through, I honestly don't know how many of you do it... I really don't!
So, I don't think any of you are cowards, I retract that... maybe you're just in a state where the crap hasn't piled up so high that you can't take it anymore...I was there once myself... I'm sorry I said that, I really am! I wish all of you the best of luck, I hope all of you find happiness and most of all (like Dolly Partain) I wish you love...
I'll be checking in today, my last day for a while, I'm not mad at any of you and hope none of you hold a grudge against me.... I can see that this forum has helped me, I hope it has helped us all... and I will be checking in from time to time to see what dumb shit the WT has done lately... but I need to be more productive on a personal level.... Good luck...Charles Huff