by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends
Did you want to belong to a social club but couldn't because it was "worldly" and Witnesses don't get involved with the world?
Did you not go to college simply because Witnesses say it's bad?
Did you deprive your kids of things because you were a "good JW"?
Was there anything in particular that made you sorry that you just didn't ignore the "direction of the Slave"?
College is my biggest one, but also I would have loved to have done some extra-curricular activities at school. It would have been great to have more friends.
Edit to say: I regret not living my life because I believed it would all be over so so soon.
I wish that my hubby and I had gone to college. We got married at 19 and 18, but we've said that if we had it to do over, we would have lived together and gone to school. Or one worked and supported the other thru school. But hubby has managed to overcome that handicap. It just took 11 years.
momz
I wasn't a JW by the time this happened, which makes it worse:
I didn't stand by my DF'd brother when he was was excluded from the "get-together" after my dad's funeral because it was in a JW's home (Dad was not a JW, but Mom was, and the funeral was conducted by one of the Elders). I went to the get-together and had two friends of mine take my brother out after the funeral, and that was cowardly and wrong of me. I should have gone with them. Not only was it wrong for them to exclude him, it was hypocritical for them to exclude him and include me (I'd faded but was not DF'd or DA'd). I rationalized it internally by telling myself that my mom needed me. But my mom had my two other brothers and the "brothers and sisters" of the congregation around her. My brother was alone.
My biggest regret is not raising my kids to think for themselves. Teaching them that everything is black and white, good or evil is the worst disservice I could have done to them as their parent. I taught them that God speaks through the FDS and therefore EVERYTHING they said came from God. My children's thoughts and feelings were not my number one priority. I only cared if they were doing what it took to "make Jehovah happy". I will regret this until my dying day.
There are a lot of other things but they all pale in comparison.
Did you not go to college simply because Witnesses say it's bad?
Did you deprive your kids of things because you were a "good JW"?
A resounding yes to both of these! But we are remeding these things now as we speak.
I do regret a lot of the "things" my kids missed out on, but on the other hand, I am happy to say they are super great people and maybe that raising helped us be better people, in that I mean since the kids were restricted in a lot of ways, I spent a lot more time with them making sure they didn't miss out on being young. so maybe that combination helped in ways. I'll never know now.But they 28 and 27, & 19. Making there own way in the world and with some help occasionally from mom they are standing on their own two feet.
not my #1 regret, that list is LONG but in the top 10.....
I had very bad teeth as a child, mom said 'Jehovah will fix them in the NW......FF 45yrs....I got braces and became a very old posteri child for Adult Orthodontia. I had to have jaw surgery and wore the braces for 4yrs. If it were done when I was a child, no surgery and the braces worn a much shorter time.
I didn't go to college. I didn't pursue opportunities on my job even though I was sought after. I put time and money into activities that I was taught from childhood would be approved by Jehovah. If you want to do those things, fine. Some people enjoy giving of themselves in this way. But I needed to be doing more with my life. My husband, who was never a JW, took advantage of many opportunities in his life. He has a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction watching our kids grow. I, on the other hand, am always looking for something and trying something new.
I wanted to play football (soccer) or volleyball, but was not allowed to join the team (bad association, you know...)
That's my biggest issue.
Second biggest issue is that I never got to know really well the part of the family that is not JW. I'm trying to make up for it now.
kifoy
I was always offered parts in the school plays that I didn't do, 4 years in a row. And then my mother would drag me to go see the plays at the school, boy if that didn't kill me.
