Getting married too young

freedomfighter

Hi !

Have noticed an inevitable trend in Australia. (probably is all over the world).

As a JW u can't have sex before marriage right? - "u can't test drive the vehicle before buying it".

Well marriage is much more serious than buying a car. So we have heaps and heaps of couples getting married when they are teenagers. i.e 18 - 19yrs of age.

So u can't whack off, u can't have sex, so u marry one of the first girls/guys you really like. My niece just got married 2 weeks ago - she has only just turned 18yrs!

Is that a time when u know yourself? I didn't. Is that a good basis for a marriage?

I hope there is more to it than just sex.

Just had to mention it. If this post sounds incoherent - I've just come off the night shift!

FF

nvrgnbk

Is that a good basis for a marriage?

No.

I hope there is more to it than just sex.

Doubtful.

If this post sounds incoherent

Sounds fine, very important point.

My hubby and I got married way too young. I always tell people we were fetuses, 19 for me and 18 for him. Luckily for us it has worked out, going on 16yrs. Knock on wood! We had friends who married two weeks before we did, at the same ages, and their marriage fell apart 12 yrs ago.

It was a hard life, especially as college was a no-no. Hubby even had a scholarship he turned down. And I sure bounced plenty of checks. But it started turning around and we are now doing very well financially. We also have 3 great kids. And he still brings me flowers for no reason. And I let him sleep in on Saturday.

momz

YoursChelbie

Is that a time when u know yourself? I didn't. Is that a good basis for a marriage?

Many people are still discovering their likes and dislikes at 30! ...much more so at 18 or 19.

One universal theme I've noticed is that most people dislike feeling alone: It's more comforting to know that you have "someone" to hang out with, share life with. Of course for the fickle ones out there, the novelty of ANY new relationship wears out after a while and they are off pursuing someone new.

YC

MissingLink

Everyone's different. Getting married at 20 was the right decision for ME. And not because it was the only way to get some action. Sure times were tough financially, but this builds character. I don't regret this aspect of my life one bit.

Bonnie_Clyde

Clyde was 22, I was 21. I don't regret marrying him at all--I still love him. But I do regret that we weren't better prepared for marriage and for life. By the time we were that age we could both have had a college education. Instead, I spent 2-1/2 years after high school pioneering.

LouBelle

I'm 31 and still discovering myself.

and in the witness faith 9 times outta 10 - it's got to do with sex - they just end up staying together because if they don't = reproof or d.f.ing.

Superfine Apostate

why do JWs get married in the afternoon? because in the morning they're still in school.

katiekitten

As a JW u can't have sex before marriage right? - "u can't test drive the vehicle before buying it".
Well marriage is much more serious than buying a car. So we have heaps and heaps of couples getting married when they are teenagers. i.e 18 - 19yrs of age.
So u can't whack off, u can't have sex, so u marry one of the first girls/guys you really like. My niece just got married 2 weeks ago - she has only just turned 18yrs!
Is that a time when u know yourself? I didn't. Is that a good basis for a marriage?
I hope there is more to it than just sex.

I have to agree. I got married at just gone 20, we had been dating since I was 18 and he was 19. It was mainly to do with sex and the lack thereof! Although if you had asked me at the time I would have sworn blind it was a genuine love match based on shared christian principles.

Basically we were TOTALLY different, but as embryos of who we were going to grow up to be it wasnt apparent at the time.

I have always said if I knew how to mastubate I would never have got married!

In addition though, marriage for me represented a complete improvement in my life. I mean, I wasnt cynically thinking ' oh I stand to gain this that and the other'. But at the time I was window cleaning, living in a bedsit, couldnt drive and had no academic prospects.

I honestly think that if say I had been to university, if I was renting a niceish flat, if I had a car, some nice clothes and some disposeable income, when I met anyone I would be thinking "what can this person bring to the table", and if I already had a nice little life going on I would have been more picky about a them having a personality I respected and looked up to. As it was there was nothing decent in my life so he represented a complete 200% improvement to my life, and I just forgot to look at whether we were compatible or not.

Mary

So we have heaps and heaps of couples getting married when they are teenagers. i.e 18 - 19yrs of age.

We've had guys as young as 17 get married in my old Hall. Usually it's to a girl 24 or 25 who are desperate to get married to anyone---lest they be viewed as an Old Maid.

So u can't whack off, u can't have sex, so u marry one of the first girls/guys you really like. My niece just got married 2 weeks ago - she has only just turned 18yrs!

Actually, in Dud-dumb Land, it's unusual for anyone NOT to be married by 18.

Is that a time when u know yourself? I didn't. Is that a good basis for a marriage?

God no. It's generally for sex, but also so they can get out from under their parent's thumb and 'do their own thing.'

I hope there is more to it than just sex.

Well they might have just wanted a Pioneer partner. But I highly doubt it.