Getting married too young (page 2)

Witness 007

At 18 your like wow dude I just got my Licence to drive...I can drink booze...I don't have a job...why get married? I often come across teenagers 16 with babies....not good.

Yeah, this is worldwide. I've noticed teenagers marrying here in the US for awhile. I was planning to get married when I was 19. Some things changed and I ended up dating other people. Eventually, I married at 27. Very happy to have found him. (Five years and two toddlers later)We both felt like there was a reason why we met. He has helped carry me through some difficult times. Of course, he wasn't readily accepted by my JW family. Some even tried to see if they could convert him. Let me tell ya, that was funny!

Mulan

I don't recommend it but I got married at 17 and my husband was 19. 45 years later, we are still together, happy and successful. I can't imagine my life with anyone else. We have 4 wonderful adult children, all married and happy. 9 grandchildren. Our only daughter married at 18, but to a man 27, They've been married nearly 20 years. Our sons all married in their 20's, one was 31 actually.

It can work, but I admit it usually doesn't.

shopaholic

I honestly think that if say I had been to university, if I was renting a niceish flat, if I had a car, some nice clothes and some disposeable income, when I met anyone I would be thinking "what can this person bring to the table", and if I already had a nice little life going on I would have been more picky about a them having a personality I respected and looked up to.

Very,very,very true. Most of my friends were married by the time they were 21 or 22, at which time I was just graduating from college. I never met anyone in the truth that could at least match what I could "bring to the table" at 22, not even the older guys. I met plenty of non-JWs that could but of course I didn't go that route. Yes, most witnesses get married too, too young especially for all that's available for them today. BTW, some of my friends are still in their original marriage and others are working on their 2nd or 3rd one. Several of them have said they got married for sex and if they had a second chance, they would have waited several years before getting married and would marry someone else. How sad is that?

Seeker4

I was 20 when I married, and my wife was 18.

I was talking to my son-in-law Sunday about a faded JW friend from my youth. My s-i-l is still a JW. The only statement I made to him was, "My friend had a typical JW marriage." My s-i-l immediately interjects, "Oh, he got married way too young?!"

Exactly! My friend was in his early 20s when he married a 16 YEAR OLD JW girl. My s-i-l was 19 when he married my 19 year old daughter.

Yeah, it's an issue.

Also, it ought to be grounds for divorce for any woman to call her husband, "hubby," or for any man to refer to his wife as "wifey," "mother," or "the old lady"!!

LOL!

S4

kifoy

I've seen lots of young couples getting married too young. Even so young (not even 18) that they need to apply to the King (of Norway) for permission. Crazy!

I've also seen couples, not so young, getting married too soon. Like 3-4 months after they met! I think that's crazy too.

And I've more that one time asked myself, if they got married that soon only to be able to "do it"...
and also those that could not hold back from doing "it" even then, with devastating results.

I felt so sorry for them.

kifoy

5go

Although the loneliness is miserable I am so glad I didn't.

Zico

Sex isn't the only reason, though it can be a big reason. There's a lot of pressure on young people to marry when they start dating because 'you shouldn't date until you're ready for marriage' getting away from the annoying chaperone rule can be another reason.

NewYork44M

As a good witness teenager wanting to have sex, I made the right spiritual decision and got married at the age of 19. I do not believe I was shaving at the time.

At the time it seemed like a good decision, we barely knew each other, but we were so close to the GT and Armageddon, that it really didn't matter. The year was 1976 and I knew that if we were not perfect for each other then, in the new order we would attain perfection and everyting would be alright.

We probably would still be together if it wasn't for those "crazy apostates" getting into my head and messing things up. At least that is her take on the whole messy divorce.

BluesBrother

It may be commonplace in many parts of dubland - I have seen too many anecdotal comments to doubt that. However, they are going against the WTS advice an counsel in marrying young , eg

The Secret of Family Happiness

chap. 2 pp. 15-16 par. 6 Preparing for a Successful Marriage ***

Living up to such a commitment requires maturity. Thus, Paul counsels that Christians do better not to marry until they are "past the bloom of youth," the period when sexual feelings run strong and can distort one’s judgment. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Young people change rapidly as they grow up. Many who marry when very young find that after just a few years their needs and desires, as well as those of their mate, have changed. Statistics reveal that teenagers who marry are much more likely to be unhappy and seek divorce than those who wait a little longer. So do not rush into marriage. Some years spent living as a young, single adult can give you precious experience that will make you more mature and better qualified to be a suitable mate. Waiting to get married can also help you to understand yourself better—a necessity if you are to develop a successful relationship in your marriage.

Around here I would say that it was not so common. The ones that I know have been in their twenties. A friend of mind lost his eldership privileges because he allowed his daughter to have a courtship when she was in her teens, around sixteen.

Getting married too young