Anyone else feel like an emotional mutant at this time of year? (page 2)

MadTiger

The problem with most JWs AND most people who celebrate holidays is that they don't stress the cultivation of these qualities ALL YEAR ROUND.

It wouldn't hurt to have people over, give thanks to the Divine, give gifts, and eat and drink whenever you want to.

sweetstuff

I felt that way too, at first, the first couple years, it was a bit odd, now I love it and embrace it! I think the trick is to immerse yourself in it, re-wash your brain into enjoying the fun of Xmas just for the fun of it and nothing more. It will happen for you TP, it will just take a little time. ((Hugs)) Merry Christmas!

shopaholic

How does one go from politely not attending any the christmas functions at work or at the invite of casual associates to all of a sudden attending them without some sort of explanation that isn't talked about and then shared with every JW that knocks on their doors that they knew someone that was a witness and now they're not, oh yeah, her name is Shopoholic, do you know her and then not have 13 elders calling at my door to "encourage me"? I used to get that in service all the time and the person working along with me would be sure to pass along the name of the person so that they could be hunted down.

Tall peguin, I agree that no matter how hard you try to assimilate that you still feel like an outsider looking in. My family also celebrated christmas when I was a kid. I remember opening presents, baking cookies for Santa and everything. Then several months later my mom told us we were to no longer say the pledge at school and that was followed up by her telling us that my sister would not have a birthday party and when Dec came back around, yep, no christmas. What was I supposed to do? I too was only 5 years old.

Scully

Yes, I can totally relate to what you're saying and feeling.

Some years I've been able to pull off a nice holiday spirit in the home and find it in myself too. Other years, I'm so not into it at all. As an atheist, I don't go for the religious overtones of the holidays, but I'm looking for the cultural "feel" of the season. I send seasonal cards to friends and colleagues. I try to bake some nice goodies to enjoy during family time. We put up a tree, but there is no crèche, and our decorations are more about winter than they are about "Christmas".

It occurred to me some time ago, that JW events like District Conventions™, Circuit Assemblies™, Special Assembly Days™, CO Visits™, etc. served a similar purpose as traditional holidays, in that they are designed to bring people together. The difference being that the focus is not on the family (as it should be with holiday traditions) but on promoting the JW ideology. In that way these JW events serve as surrogates for normal family traditional gatherings. While normal family traditional gatherings have the effect of strengthening family bonds, WTS events usurp that natural inclination and use it as a means of strengthening loyalty to the WTS, even over blood ties.

We enjoy the movies and TV specials, and my favorite is The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, because it reminds me of that part of my life that was taken from me without my consent. I've long believed that the Grinch is a very good representation of the WTS.

when the Grinch is caught by Cindy-Lou Who the story continues:
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why?
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why??"
But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why my sweet little tot", the fake Santy Claus lied
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side
So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
*the Grinch claims the Christmas tree needed NEW LIGHT!!

Despite all that, it still feels like we're "different" somehow.

Everyone else seems to have huge family gatherings, and try as I might to include family members who are not JWs, the geographical and meteorological impediments seem to keep us from accomplishing that. After a few years of trying to organize something/anything unsuccessfully, I've come to the realization that it's like trying to herd cats... so I don't even bother trying anymore. It's just our little Scully clan, and we are going to make a point of visiting a few families with some baking that I've done with the kids on Christmas day. We'll pack up with some hot chocolate and bags of cookies and treats and deliver them to a few friends.

I don't make a big dinner. We have a party buffet - that's been our "tradition" - it's easier to put together, and it's something that can be on the table for a while after dinner as we play board games and listen to music.

shopaholic

As an atheist, I don't go for the religious overtones of the holidays, but I'm looking for the cultural "feel" of the season. I send seasonal cards to friends and colleagues. I try to bake some nice goodies to enjoy during family time. We put up a tree, but there is no crèche, and our decorations are more about winter than they are about "Christmas".

I always wondered what atheist did about Christmas. I'm not an atheist, yet, but do like your approach...cultural feel of the season and winter decorations. I think I'll give that try, especially since for a number of years, I've wanted to put up snowflake decorations and huge Frosty sticker on window. After we stopped celebrating christmas my mom continued to play winter songs, but got a lot of slack from the "JWs" telling us the songs were Satan's way of trying to lure us back to Christmas and the world. My mom wasn't totally brain dead...to this day she plays winter songs during this time of year.

rache31

I started out like that every winter for the past three years but this year is different. I feel good and am celebrating how I want to. My husband has a lot to do with that. He is Kenyan and lived there until approximately ten years ago. His family celebrated Christmas, like many cultures seem to do these days. For him it was about the family, friends, and food. (they didn't go a gift exchange) So he kept telling me to make it something I wanted to remember. If I wanted decorations and all the hooplah (that's a word, right) so be it! If not, he was cool with that too. So at first I didn't know but I experimented. I felt like a kid trying to grow up in a few months. Trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to be "when I grew up". I guess some things need time. Its a healing process too.

juni

JW events like District Conventions™, Circuit Assemblies™, Special Assembly Days™, CO Visits™, etc. served a similar purpose as traditional holidays, in that they are designed to bring people together. The difference being that the focus is not on the family (as it should be with holiday traditions) but on promoting the JW ideology. In that way these JW events serve as surrogates for normal family traditional gatherings. While normal family traditional gatherings have the effect of strengthening family bonds, WTS events usurp that natural inclination and use it as a means of strengthening loyalty to the WTS, even over blood ties

THANK YOU Scully for posting this. Interesting thoughts.

Wordly Andre

Yeah it takes time for that feeling to go away, in the back of your mind you feel like you're a fake, you are somehow waiting for them to call you on it. Kind an uneasy sense of feeling like you have to defend yourself, but it does go away, and believe me, people could care less what you were before, because when you were a JW and isolating yourself during the holidays you were weird to all of them, now that you joining in the fun you are only weird inside.

UU Now

It took me a while to really get into it. Then I had a kid, and that helped.

We're agnostic/atheist (depending on when you ask us) UUs, my daughter's dad is Jewish, and the friend who usually joins us for the holidays is pagan. So we celebrate several holidays. My daughter calls it Chrisolstukkah.

mentalclearness

Yes I know exactly how you feel. This is my first Christmas this year and I feel a bit guilty. Not because of the religious aspect, but as JW I always criticized the materialistic side of it. I guess that was the way I always made these restrictions seem logical and conviction based. LOL! But fortunately some friends of mine have allowed me to join in on their activities so I can get my feet wet. I probably still really wouldn't celebrate Christmas xecept for the fact that I have kids and I want them to enjoy it and not feel left out. But I almost feel as if I'm going against my conviction, which is crazy considering I have no religious convictions at this moment and time....

Anyone else feel like an emotional mutant at this time of year?

Share this