Anyone else feel like an emotional mutant at this time of year?

by tall penguin 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  dogisgod

  Yeah. It's a annual bummer. An affliction.
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  BluesBrother

  I feel kind of half hearted about it all. The family are "in" so there is no question of celebrating it personally ...Among work mates and on the media, it is still something that they celebrate, even though I do not deliberately abstain from things ...You can take a man out the Witnesses easier than you can take the Witness out of the man.
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  bigwilly

  TP, it's been a few years since my first round of holidays. It was odd, but I had my siblings to go thru it with (they'd both been out for a year or two). It was actually much more traumatic when I first attended someone else's family events. Now my preferences definitely run toward the "orphan" holidays. By that I mean spending the holidays with other persons who are lacking a traditional family. It turns out to be more of a social gathering while enjoying others' company and hearing about the holiday histories.

  Don't try to force yourself to be exactly like others, everyone has a different definition of the holidays, different traditions and different expectations. Allow yourself to integrate as much as you are comfortable with but don't get too hung up on not fitting in right away.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  I've been attempting to infiltrate my friend's Christmas traditions in an attempt to understand and appreciate the holiday. I only had Christmas until I was 5 when my mom converted to jw. Before that, Christmas was really big in our house. I have pictures to prove it.
  
  Last night I went over to a friend's place to bake gingerbread cookies. Her home was decorated to the hilt. She had a huge Christmas tree in the living room as well as another one in her bedroom! I loved how pretty everything looked and I had fun baking. But I still felt odd somehow. I still feel like a stranger in a strange land. And people really can't appreciate what it's like to not have had these holidays growing up and to now be trying to assimilate them. They feel bad that I missed out on them as a child but don't really understand the emotional impact of trying to become part of things now, after so many years. It kicks up so many emotions for me. And then I just feel isolated and alone.
  
  Can anyone relate to this?
  
  tall penguin

  Tall Penguin, I can really relate to these feelings!
• 

  Warlock

  Yes, and I used to celebrate all the holidays.

  Now, I just enjoy the holiday atmosphere.

  You are in good company, T.P.

  Warlock
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  wha happened?

  I've always hated christmas
• 

  lonelysheep

  And people really can't appreciate what it's like to not have had these holidays growing up and to now be trying to assimilate them.

  You're right. People cannot appreciate that because an overwhelming majority of the human population has never had squat to do with the JW way of thinking.

  I grew up with xmas and I enjoy it even more now that I have kids.

  What makes the holiday great is the fun that is had with friends/family when there's no school or work to worry about in the middle of winter! MEMORIES! It takes time to make memories around one particular day out of the year.

  20 years from now, how will you feel? :)

  ~L
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  Maddie

  Tall Penguin, I can understand why you feel like this because it feels strange to me too. I was brought up celebrating Christmas and even when I converted, my husband wasn't a JW so it still went on in my family. Yet I still feel a bit strange about really getting into the celebration now that I have no reason not to. The JW indoctrination is still hanging around I guess. I'm sure it will fade as time goes on though, so try not to worry too much

  Maddie
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  LisaRose

  Holidays were lonely for me as a witness, as it felt weird. I didn't have a happy marriage, so I really had nothing to replace the holidays with. . What I found was, after I left, I could pick and choose what things I did or did not do. My new hubby likes the holidays, so it really is fun for me. My kids, raised as JW's don't have any expectations so are just happy to get some presents. They may or may not come and visit, and it's not a big deal either way. I like to decorate (I have an antique and home decor business), so it's fun for me. I also like to bake. I even have a Mrs Claus costume and take pictures of the kids with Santa at my store. I guess I have totally lost the JW Brainwashing where that is concerned!
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  seawolf

  I don't have a problem with it since no one I know really celebrates it much. Most of my friends are all non-JW but since they're agnostic or atheists they just don't do much with it really. Even if I were to celebrate it um I guess I could give a gift to myself?? lol all-in-all it just doesn't interests me and overall bores me. I do admit I like Christmas lights. I sometimes go around and drive and see some of them and wonder which one will crash the electrical grid first. I haven't really had any opportunity to see much this year with how busy I've been. It's not that I feel bad for celebrating it, it never mattered to me even when I went to the KH, it's just something that never meant much to me either way.